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“God,I couldn’t eat another bite,” I say and then grab an al pastor taco off the platter in front of us.
“There’s always room for al pastor, though,” Drew says with a laugh.
I take a bite despite my stomach being on the verge of explosion, the pineappley porky goodness melting on my tongue. “Mm, you got that right.”
Drew laughs at me, eyes wrinkling at the corners. His scruff is more trimmed than usual. Still scruffy, though. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to touch his cheek and feel his facial hair just once. “You’re hilarious, D.”
“Takes one to know one, D.”
Stupid little nickname that makes my stomach flip every time. This man might be the death of me.
“What are you doing tonight?” I ask and immediately regret it when I see how Drew’s mouth falls ajar. “No reason, only curious.” I’m deeply frightened of the day Drew says he’s going on a date. If he dates, he doesn’t tell me. Never asked me for advice or what to say to a girl who sent a cryptic text. I can’t imagine he doesn’t at least try. He’s a catch.
“Um…I was probably just going to start packing for Maldives,” he says with a shrug.
Drew is my plus one for Gillian and Axel’s wedding. Gillian said she’d give Drew his own invitation, but I told her not to bother giving us plus ones. It wasn’t like either of us was going to fall into serious relationships between August and December.
Plus, at least this way, if Drewhadmiraculously met the love of his life, I wouldn’t have to deal with him being all happy and lovey at my sister’s wedding.
“Or do a little work. I want to get started on some more drawings on this engine.”
I roll my eyes. “What is it with all the workaholics around here?”
Drew grins. “I’m sorry!”
“Everyone’s always working or with their kids or on dates or–” I stop and shake my head.
“Did you want to do something tonight? I could–”
“No, no. You have towork.”
“Dana, come on, don’t be that way,” Drew says and then crunches on a chip dipped in salsa verde.
I sigh. “I’m not…Sorry.”
“We could go see a movie or hit up a show. I’m not married to my work.”
The use of the word married right now makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.
He narrows his eyes, dark blue obscured in shadow. “What’s wrong?”
I raise my eyebrows. I shouldn’t be surprised. Two years of friendship is nothing to shake a stick at. You can learn people really fast when you care to. “Nothing.”
“You’re lying.”
I put down my half-eaten taco and wipe the juice off my fingers. “I remember when I would have said that to you.”
“Guess I had a good teacher when it comes to reading people,” he says with a half-smile.
Back when I was counseling him, I remember how surprised Drew would be when I was able to pinpoint something going on in his brain he hadn’t said out loud. It’s a blessing and a curse to know how people feel. On one hand, I feel like I can see the world very clearly. I’m able to read a room, make people feel safe, build and maintain close friendships because of how I’m able to care. And on the other hand, I’m always burdened with worry for others and don’t think about myself enough.
Being in the business of emotions means I have to work hard at not being burnt out. My clients come to me with their heaviest emotional loads. I have to be on top of my game to receive them.
It’s why counselors, therapists, and psychiatrists are all in therapy themselves. We need somewhere to be understood when we’re doing so much understanding ourselves.
“What’s up, D?”
I look down at the demolished platter of tacos, trails of salsa, onions, and cilantro sprinkled across it. “It just hit me today how all my sisters are…” I meet his gaze and try to smile. “Growing up.”
