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Drew’s lips twist to the side. “That must be hard.”

“Not hard, necessarily. I’m happy for them. You know I am.”

“Of course.”

“They all deserve everything. The whole world. You know I think that.”

Drew shakes his head. “You never have to defend yourself to me, Dana.”

My muscles relax. At least I don’t have to worry about being misunderstood when I’m with Drew. He knows me. Knows my heart. “I think I’m feeling kind of lonely,” I say in a small voice. “Feels stupid, but–”

“You can be surrounded by people and still feel like no one sees you. I know how that feels,” he says.

Drew’s voice is so kind. I’ve always thought this. From the second he stepped into my office; I was surprised to feel like I was talking to another counselor. Makes his peptalks and advice sessions even more impactful.

“I feel like they don’t need me anymore,” I say, picking at the tablecloth.

“Dana.”

“Seriously. They don’t. Harley has Grant, Gillian has Axel, Amy has Hunter. Who knows what happens next with Kira? The only one who might actually need me is my dad and he doesn’t actually really need me because, well, he’s my dad, and even if hedidneed me, he wouldn’t say it. So, that leaves me, and–”

Drew’s hand darts out and captures my own on the table. “Dana, you’re talking a mile a minute. Take a breath.”

I sit there and stare at our hands. Drew has touched me before. Given me a high five, a playful shove, a hug. Grabbing my hand across the table, though?

That’s not a friend thing to do.

And the way his thumb is trailing across the back of my hand with tenderness…that’sdefinitelynot a friend thing to do.

“Your sisters will always need you. You’re irreplaceable, Dana. I promise.”

Does that mean thatDrewthinks I’m irreplaceable too? My heart is beating in my throat. If he doesn’t let go soon enough, I might just lean across this table and kiss him. And that would ruin everything, wouldn’t it?

I yank my hand away suddenly and smile nervously. “Yeah, you’re right. Thanks. You’re…Thank you.”

Drew’s brow tightens for only a moment before he retracts his hand and sticks it in his lap. “Yeah, of course. Any time.”

An awkward silence falls over us as Spanish pop music plays in the background. I scoop up the rest of my al pastor taco and stuff it in my mouth. Drew chuckles as I chew and I try to smile with my mouth packed full.

I need to figure out what I want. Because if it’s really Drew, I’m squandering every opportunity to have him.

* * *

I turn over in bed.I can smell him in the pillow, his musk mixed with cologne mixed with grease.

I feel a hot breath on the inside of my thigh and look down at the sheets. “What are you doing?”

He kisses the inside of my thigh. “Waking you up.”

My mouth grows hot. “Drew, what are you–”

He hushes me and plants a hand to my lower belly. “Just relax. Let me take care of you.”

Memory is not serving me right now. I don’t know how I got here, into my bed, and I certainly don’t know how Drew got here either.

But I’m not going to fight it. Especially not when I feel his breath now against my lower lips.

“Smell so good, baby.”

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