AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“That’s not why it was weird!” Amy says. “It was just…weird.”
“Wow, you’re a writer, right?” Kira jabs back.
“I’m just saying there was tension. Wouldn’t you all agree?”
We nervously exchange looks around the circle. Clearly, we all agree. But are any of us willing to poke Kira the bear any further? Definitely not.
“Whatever,” Kira mumbles.
“Daddy! I got an egg full of quarters!” Jessica screams from the side of the house, running toward us adults and breaking through the membrane of our circle.
Hunter gulps her into his arms and marvels at all the quarters.
In the distraction, Kira is able to disappear inside, doubtlessly thankful to not be the center of unwanted attention any longer.
“What is that all about?” I ask Dana.
“I’m not sure. All I know is that Ineedto find out.”
We both laugh and head inside, leaving the party to unfold while we get things straightened out for Easter dinner.
* * *
I hadto buy a dinner table for the occasion. Dana was the one who picked it out. A long, acorn-colored table with leaves that help extend it so each and every Solace (and those who are Solace adjacent) can belly up to the table.
It is decorated to the gills with colorful eggs dyed by the children, easter grass, and a centerpiece of a family of stuffed bunnies.
Dinner is a far cry from the dinners I had at holidays when I was kid. If I was lucky, it was me, Mom, and Dad. Most of the time it was just me and Mom.
Those were special celebrations. Although I know she always wished she was able to give me more.
My eyes linger on the mothers of the group. On Harley spoon-feeding some mashed potatoes into Tana’s mouth, on Gillian scolding Stella making a smiley face out of peas and carrots on her plate, on Amy trying to keep Jessica from choking on her milk from laughing too hard.
That’s going to be Dana soon. And that baby will be mine.
I’ve been wishing my mother could see me now.
Really, though, all I wanted was for my mother to be a grandmother. Here. With me.
I feel Dana’s hand on my neck midway through the meal, her fingers playing with the piece of hair she lovingly calls my ducktail.
She’s been able to sense my emotions far longer than I’ve been able to sense hers. A conceit of the way we laid the groundwork for our relationship. Over the years, I’ve learned her well. And in just the past few months, I’ve learned her even better. Our connection is deeper than ever, both literally and figuratively.
I glance at her and immediately feel warmth spread through my chest. Dana is beautiful. Every day. Every moment. But this moment somehow more than ever. Her lips bathed in coral lipstick, blonde waves tied into a messy bun, her pastel yellow dress showing off her pale collarbone. My eyes drift slightly lower to her belly. It’s more obvious when she’s sitting.
I wish my mom were here.
“I think we–“ I look at the table without seeing. “Need more rolls, huh?” I push myself out of my chair and scurry into the kitchen before I can shed a tear.
Once in the kitchen, I lean over the sink and look out the window at the backyard. Perfect spot for a tire swing on one of the trees. Mom used to always say she wished she could make me a tire swing. Apartment living wasn’t really conducive to customization.
“Why’d you have to go?” I whisper, blinking my eyes shut to release a single tear.
“Honey–”
I whip around to find Dana in the doorway. She holds up a basket from the table. “You’re going to need this if you’re going to get more rolls.”
“Ah. Right.” I slouch slightly and pull at the collar of my button down. Not used to wearing these things. “Thanks. I’ll just be a minute.”
