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I turn back around to the sink. Maybe a good splash of cold water on my face will do the trick.
Dana comes up behind me and wraps her arms around my waist. She leans her face against my back.
I sigh.
She draws away slightly. “I’ll leave you alone if you want me to, but…”
I grab her hand. “No, no. Stay right there.”
We remain locked in this embrace for a long time. Dana doesn’t have to ask the question. She knows what’s going on.
I say it anyway. “I miss my mom.”
“I know, baby. I know. I miss her too.”
I half-smile. “I wish you could have met her.”
Dana nestles her head against my shoulder. “If you’re anything like her, she must have been amazing.”
She doesn’t talk about her mother nearly as much as I talk about my own. Maybe it will come with time. I know the fondness isn’t there in the same way. My mother was taken from me, hers chose to go. My mother can’t be in our child’s life. Hers chooses not to be. “It’s not fair,” I say, although I say it more for Dana than for me.
Dana pauses. “Not fair at all.”
From the other room, there is a roar of laughter. The whole table seems to erupt in happiness. Children to adults, whatever just happened is funny beyond belief. I’m only a little sorry to have missed it.
Because here in the kitchen, Dana and I look at each other and smile. That’s our future waiting for us. Our mothers might not be here, but we have plenty of loved ones to gather around the table, eat our food, celebrate our lives with us.
Everywhere we look is love.
I have Dana to thank for that.
I take her hand, stroking the friendship bracelet on her wrist. It’s faded a bit over her time wearing it. She’s never taken it off, not for a second. The threads will one day become bare and it will fall off and I’ll have to make her another.
And the ring on her finger. A reminder that I still have one more step to take until our forever is signed, sealed, and delivered.
Dana settles her head against my chest. “I love you.”
I pull her close and kiss her forehead. “I love you more.”
“Don’t you dare fight me on this. I definitely love you more. I’m having your baby, aren’t I?”
“That’s true, but unfair. I could never give you a gift like that. You’ll have to take me at my word.” I cup her cheek. “I love you more than anyone has ever loved anybody.”
Dana doesn’t fight back. And we both remain contented that the world has never seen a love quite like ours.
27
DANA
I waitfor the mail truck to pull down the street before I go collect the mail. This daily habit that has been pedestrian most of my life has now become a daunting task. Comparable to the Twelve Labors of Hercules in what it takes me to get out to the mailbox.
I shiver to think at how much more effortful it will be once I’m later in my pregnancy and toting around quite a bit more weight on my front. For now, though, the fourth month pregnant belly I’m sporting doesn’t get much in the way.
It’s definitely undeniable now. My stomach pooches out just enough that no matter what I wear, there’s a slight curve. I like walking around the world making it known that I’m going to be a mother. I don’t know, something about it is that much more real when people can see it and it’s not so much a secret.
Not to mention, we’ve made it through that tumultuous first trimester where you constantly wonder if you should have told so many people in case something goes wrong.
Four months, though. Four months looks and feels good on me.
