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I’ve got a meeting with the boss man first thing in the morning.
And I’m fucking terrified.
I have been counting down the days. And now it’s just one more sleep until I face him.
I know he must hate me. The way things went down with Trevor…I don’t blame him. We haven’t spoken since the last family dinner I attended. Everything had seemed hunky dory from the outside, but inside, I was stewing, hoping my relationship was working, knowing it wasn’t.
Oliver, though, came in and said something to make me laugh and got me out of my head.
He never replied to any of my texts after the fact. I know he probably had to pick sides, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt just the same. Didn’t mean I didn’t miss him. He’d become as much of a best friend to me as he was to Trevor. Trevor, however, had the benefit of years of a friendship with Oliver, plus whatever “bro” code they had.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t the teensiest bit excited to see Oliver. We’re adults, right? We can be cordial and professional.And it’s been like two years. I’m sure Trevor’s moved on by now. And so have I. Kind of. I’ve been really focused on my career. But at what cost?
You see, most of my family lives down south in New Mexico. I don’t get to visit them often because I’ve been working so much and so often. When I was with Trevor, I always had people around because of his connection to the Hawthorn family. I could always count on Sunday night dinners to keep me grounded and make me smile.
When I left Trevor, he took all that away from me.
It made me feel even more guilty than I already did.
I shake all that off. Time to get a good night’s rest. Tomorrow morning is a big day. I’ll need to make sure I’m done up to perfection, ready to take on the world.
Or maybe just ready to take on Oliver Hawthorn should it come down to that.
So much for that good night’s rest. I toss and turn all night. I’m not sure I slept for more than half an hour at a time. I keep having flashes of Oliver. Nightmares maybe. A couple of them, though…
I’m only human, alright? I never would have done anything with Oliver while I was with Trevor and I certainly wouldn’t now, but I’ve got eyes. Oliver Hawthorn is nearly seven feet of tall, dark, and handsome, and whatever girl gets to climb him like a tree is very lucky in my book.
It just won’t be me.
I finally get out of bed at the ass crack of dawn and decide I should just get ready and head into the office. No harm in beingearly, right? If anything, I’ll be showing everyone what a go-getter I am and maybe that’ll get me on Oliver’s good side.
I already have my outfit completely planned out. Gray peasant top tucked into some lace up black pants. The vibe at Hawthorn from what HR told me is business casual, but I know for a fact from all the times Trevor and I saw Oliver when he had just gotten off of work that he’s always wearing a sleek suit.
I don’t want to look like a try-hard, though.
I make sure my makeup is subtle but definitely looks like I tried and then grab my bag and coat to head out to my very first day as a security engineer at Hawthorn.
I go to the front door, put my hand on the top lock and stop.
Deep breath, Rowan. You’ve got this.
Since the breakup, I haven’t felt as safe. No one can put monetary value on what it’s like to have a man around nearly twenty-four seven. With Trevor, I felt much safer in my apartment and walking the streets of Chicago. Even though I have a nice apartment in a high security building, it’s still a big city. Shit happens.
Hell, shithashappened.
Remember. You’re doing what you love. And it doesn’t hurt you’re going to be making a pretty penny doing it.
I look in the mirror that’s on the wall beside the front door. When I see my reflection, I smile. I think about all the games I play with my friends online. All the avatars I have. The warriors, the soldiers, the fighters.
They’re all in me. A little bit.
I’ll do them proud today.
I take a deep breath. “Let’s roll.”
When I get to Hawthorn, the building and downtown are already bustling. I’m an hour early for my start time, but when I go to security and say my name, someone comes down to fetch me almost immediately.
I recognize the face immediately from all of our Zoom calls. Colleen from HR with her cropped blonde hair and perfectly done red lips. “Rowan Headley?” the woman asks as she approaches me.
