AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“So, you’re going to let Posey put her into the system? Are you fucking for real?” Landon shook his head. “I thought you were better than that.”
“There isn’t anything I can do,” I said. “She heard my conversation with Cobi. I confessed to everything the second I hung up with him. I have no claim to Destiny, only some fucked up hero complex.”
“Then that’s it? Do the DNA test, remove your name from Destiny’s birth certificate, and walk away?”
The disbelief in his voice rubbed me the wrong way. I had no claims to Destiny. My need to protect her and fulfill Hope’s wishes didn’t mean shit. Destiny wasn’t mine. I didn’t know what my brother or my family expected me to do in this situation. “Yes. It’s for the best.”
“You could adopt her,” Landon muttered, indignant rage filled his voice. “You could explain to a judge why you believe Hope named you the father of her daughter. You could fight, asshole.”
Sure, adopted Destiny. Probably would have been more workable before CPS found out I wasn’t her biological father. “Not likely.”
“Why not?” Landon challenged.
I grunted, giving a humorless chuckle. It was cute my brother thought I had any leg to stand on when it came to Destiny. “You think a judge will side with me now? They’ll take one look at the record, especially after I confessed to never sleeping with Hope, and laugh me out of the courts. I lied about Destiny’s paternity. Went along with a stupid piece of paper knowing the truth the whole time. There’s no coming back from that, Landon.”
“You’re all she has,” he said. “You’re willing to put her into a system that eats little kids like her for breakfast?”
“No,” I replied. “Never, but there is no choice here. I shit the bed.”
“Why are you playing the fucking martyr? It’s like you’ve purposefully allowed yourself to be piked upon a spear and are prostrating to everyone.”
“That makes little sense, Landon,” I quipped.
“Sure it does,” he grumbled. “You fell on your sword and now you’re crawling on your belly, showing everyone your self-inflicted wounds. You want us to pity you because you got caught up in a stupid game? Now, instead of following through with the right course of action, you’d rather walk away and let everyone else clean up your bloody trail.”
“I should have walked away to begin with,” I snapped, slamming the almost empty bottle in my hand on the coffee table. “I should have forced Posey to take me to court. Instead, like always, I wanted to help. Now, here I am, in a situation I can’t do anything about since the truth is out.”
“So, you walked away,” Landon muttered, “with your tail between your legs. What happened to my dick-ish brother? What happened to the guy who didn’t back down from a challenge? The guy who fought for us? Who fought harder than anyone to keep us together after mom and dad died? This guy sitting next to me isn’t him. This version of you is a pussy.”
Rage licked across my skin. I wasn’t giving up because I wanted to. I had to do this because I’d already hurt too many people. Ireland was right. A child wasn’t a puppy I could adopt from a shelter. Destiny needed more than me. She deserved a family. Stability. It didn’t matter what I thought about Hope’s or Pedro’s family, because they were biologically hers. I wasn’t.
“I’m still him. I’m doing the right thing. You and Ireland were right. I can’t pretend to be a father, and I can’t adopt Destiny like she’s some dog at a pound. She needs her family. A biological family.”
“Biology doesn’t make families,” Landon snapped. “The people in your life do.”
“Goddammit,” I growled, “stop trying to push me into an unmovable corner, Landon. Be happy you and Ireland were right. I fucked up. I kept a kid who doesn’t belong to me, and everything came back to bite me in the ass. In the process of imploding my life over some kid, I also lost Posey. I’m sure you’re all grateful for that, too.”
Landon stared at me, his hazel eyes a shade lighter than mine, widened as his features went slack. “I am not grateful you lost, Posey. I’m not happy about any of this.”
“You doomed all of this from the beginning. Both you and Ireland did. Now, you can live happy, comfortable lives knowing you were right, and I was wrong. Don’t fucking sit here and act like the caring brother when you wanted me to dump Destiny at the nearest fucking children’s center.”
Landon shook his head. “No, Hunter. I won’t let you blame everyone else for what’s happened here. We’re allowed as your siblings to be concerned and ask questions. We did. We had a right to be worried. This right here, right now, is why we were apprehensive about the situation. We’d never be gleeful about you losing the love of your life. How could you even think that, bro? How could you ever believe you didn’t deserve to have some kind of happiness in your life?”
I snorted. “I think you should leave now, Landon. We’ve been over this enough. Every cycle is another beating of an already dead horse. I can’t keep doing this.”
“Leave? Bro, I live here,” Landon said. “Where the fuck do you think I’d be going?”
“Oh, now, after everything, knowing full well any day now I might lose Destiny. This is your home? What the fuck is my life right now?” I scrubbed my face. “This is some fucked up bullshit.” I stood then. “This hasn’t been your home in weeks, Landon. You’re barely here and when you are, you’re socked away in your room. I can’t keep doing this shit with all of you.” I picked up Destiny out of her pack n play, then headed for the stairs. “You should really think about moving out, Landon. It doesn’t matter if you’re here or not.”
My life was a series of implosions. A veritable mine field of bombs triggered every time I breathed or took a step. My heart was already a shattered mess. Being reminded I’d fucked up or being told all the ways I could fix my messes, only irritated me more. As it was, I couldn’t even force myself to step into Destiny’s room and pack everything up. The minute I did that, all of this would become physically real, even though mentally, the outcome had been set the minute Posey asked me if I was Destiny’s father.
Even with as exhausted as my body was, I couldn’t sit still. I couldn’t allow my mind to wander, because if I did, I’d do something crazy like beg Posey for forgiveness. I didn’t beg. I knew the rules with her. I broke them. This was my consequence.
Placing Destiny in her crib, I began folding her clothes and putting them into bags, so they were easier to manage once CPS got here. I kept a few outfits out, just in case she needed them, and Posey didn’t show up sooner rather than later. Then I worked on taking apart her toys that could collapse for easy storage. By the time I went to bed that night, I had everything ready for when the time came to say goodbye to Destiny.
I felt like shit in the morning. Not only did my chest hurt, but so did my stomach and heart. I’d have worried I was having a heart attack if I hadn’t remembered I’d lifted weights until I physically couldn’t, then dismantled everything in Destiny’s room for easier transporting. I fumbled through making coffee and a bottle for her before grabbing a shower and changing Destiny.
The whole time I’d been on edge waiting for the phone call to tell me when Posey or someone from CPS would come to pick up Destiny. When no one did, I went back to work, putting Destiny with Mack Jr. in the office playpen. I did everything on autopilot, unable to focus on any one thing. As it was, I’d been behind on several projects and until I could get my head out of my ass, I didn’t see the issue being resolved yet.
