Page 75 of Amid Our Lines


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Again, Eric choked it back. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked instead—quiet, not a reproach.

“You don’t want heavy.” Adrian blinked a couple of times, thenchanced a wobbly smile. “I’m just trying to keep it together right now, and I’m sorry if that made you think I’m not into this. I am.”

God, Eric was so gone for him.

“Adrian,” he said softly. He didn’t know how to continue, so instead he wrapped his arms around Adrian and hugged him. It took a fraction of a second before Adrian relaxed with a shaky sigh, head dropping to Eric’s shoulder. Eric was swamped by a rush of warmth that robbed his breath for a moment.

He wanted heavy. He wanted whatever Adrian would give him, and more.Avalanche emotions.

“You really thought I wouldn’t want to hear about it?” he asked, barely louder than a whisper. The room felt vast and still around them, its boundaries expanding into a whole world, just for the two of them.

“I guess…” Adrian broke off. He didn’t raise his head, his next words shaped against Eric’s neck. “I don’t know. I didn’t want to trouble you with my stuff.”

“I want your trouble.” It didn’t really get the point across, so Eric continued quickly. “That’s to say I don’t want some fake sunshine version of you. I’m… I like you. I like every version of you I’ve seen.”

Great. So that was a bit more than he’d meant to reveal. But Adrian washurting—overwhelmed and scared that he’d lose not just his business but his home. How could Eric not have responded to that?

“Oh.” Adrian pulled back enough to look at Eric. “It’s just that you said you were done with complicated, so…”

“Well, I’m clearly not done with your kind of complicated.” Eric followed it up with a smile, and the tension that pulled at Adrian’s mouth eased, if only slightly.

“You seemed awfully prepared to walk away.”

Eric struggled to maintain his smile. “Because I thoughtyouwere done with me.”

“I’m not done. Not even a little.” To illustrate the point, Adrian swung around to straddle Eric, a solid, familiar weight on Eric’sthighs. The worry hadn’t faded from Adrian’s face, but his eyes were warm. “Sorry I wasn’t honest.”

“I get it.” Not just lip service to make Adrian feel better—Eric really did get it. He curved a hand around Adrian’s hip, thumb slipping under the hem of Adrian’s jumper. “I think it’s what I used to do with my exes. Like, present my best self. Pretend it’s all easy, that I don’t have stuff going on too, or that I don’t get stuck in my own head sometimes.”

Adrian’s frown caused a steep line between his brows. “Don’t do that with me.”

“I’m not,” Eric said after a beat.

It was weird to realise the truth of the statement—usually, it was only Kojo who got to see Eric’s darker parts. But with Adrian, Eric had been out of his depth from the very first second, and in a way, it had made him more honest, more likely to lean into the snark, less concerned about presenting a sugar-coated version of himself. Adrian knew about Eric’s disappointments and insecurities, his tendency to lose himself in the creative flow. What was more, Adrianresponded—told Eric he measured up, dropped by with a smile and a glass of water to signal it was time for a break. Of course Eric had fallen for him.

He’d never even stood a chance.

13

The cartoon mushroom on the label looked alarmingly happy.

Eric seemed to agree because he took the bottle from Adrian’s hands and quirked an eyebrow. “I thought the point is to kill the thing? This one looks like a politician at a child’s birthday party.”

“That’s scarily easy to picture.” Adrian glanced up at the fluorescent light overhead, casting its harsh glow on rows of neatly organised bottles and cans with various warning labels. A few steps further down the aisle, an elderly couple was comparing weed killers with the same attention Martin devoted to assessing two types of vodka.

Eric set the bottle back on the shelf. “Let’s find something with a skull and crossbones.”

After some debate, they settled on a much more sombre choice in the form of a white container with a no-nonsense label. Hopefully, the money the company had saved on the design had been invested in improving the efficacy of the product. Adrian grabbed one container, Eric grabbed a second.

Maybe this was a fool’s errand, but Adrian felt better even just being here, picking up potent chemicals. While he’d wait for the expert’s visit before splashing any of this stuff on the visibly affectedwood, it felt good to dosomething. And having Eric along was … meaningful. Like they were in this together.

‘Don’t you have a suitcase to put away?’Adrian had asked when Eric offered to come. It had been a half-joke, but truth was that the sight of it bothered Adrian—partially packed on the bed, tangible evidence of how quickly Eric had been ready to walk away.

‘You can help me with that later,’Eric had told him, and Adrian hadn’t argued.

Jesus, he’d come within an inch of losing this. He still might.

Side by side, they made their way towards the checkout, passing an odd assortment of other New Year’s Eve customers—a bearded man scrutinising paint swatches, a young couple arguing over garden gnomes, and a frazzled mother herding her children away from a display of neon-coloured duct tape.

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