Page 29 of Elusive Surrender


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“I’ve been busy trying to save up enough to buy out Jan’s shop. In case your little spy team didn’t bring you up to speed.” I try to hold back the grin I can’t quite keep under wraps. “Jan is my mom’s best friend. She’s alone in the world and has always been like an aunt to me. She had to use a lot of her savings when her husband was sick, and then the salon had a ton of plumbing problems. You would think the city would have paid for some of the work, at least the sidewalks and everything they had to tear up, but nope; it was all on her dime. She paid it, but that was the last of her nest egg. Jan makes decent money, but once she retires, she won’t have much. I want to buy her out and pay her a great price for her salon.”

Sheldon nods. “That’s very honorable of you. In fact, I like that very much, but I call bullshit on the boyfriend. You’re in the prime of your sexual life, and a very responsive and sensual woman. I have rules, and lying goes against them. Tell me the truth, Lex.”

I know he has rules. He told me he has rules. My heart starts racing faster. I try desperately to get a handle on my runaway thoughts, but it’s not helping the pounding in my chest. He hasn’t even told me his rules, but he has rules, and what if they’re the same? What if they completely annihilate any semblance of independence and success I’ve had, and what if he wants to hurt me? What if I don’t get the rules right? I knew he would, but I thought it wouldn’t matter, that somehow the past wouldn’t get in the way. How can I even consider having rules placed on me again?

I chance glancing up at him, and he’s observing me intently. “Your heart’s racing, and you’ve gone all quiet on me, Lex. Tell me what’s going on.”

I take a deep breath. Nothing, absolutely nothing is going on, except everything. I have never been this attracted to someone, and yet so absolutely conflicted. I don’t know what will happen when I hear his rules. I’ve been down this road before, and it just about destroyed me. I won’t let that happen again. I’ve worked too damn hard to get where I am, and I’ve done it on my own damn steam, without anyone telling me what to do at every turn. But every time he speaks it’s like that deep authoritative voice has a straight line to my innermost feelings. Sheldon’s finger tilts my chin up, forcing me to look into his eyes. “I asked you a question, Lex. Tell me what’s wrong. Where did you go all of a sudden?”

“I don’t think this, whatever this is … well, I don’t think it’s going to work.” It’s all I can get out because my entire body has started to uncontrollably tremble.

Sheldon runs his hand over his chin as he observes me, but he doesn’t say a word as I try to get my bearings. I don’t think I’m going to need to convince him I’m not the right woman for him after he tells me all of his rules because I don’t think we’ll get that far.

Chapter Eleven

Sheldon

I’m watchingAlexis and the myriad of emotions passing through those gorgeous, troubled eyes, but then my gaze tracks the pulse beating wildly on the side of her neck. Her lips are no longer parted with flirty sass and a wide smile but pursed in a fine line of despair.

She had a plausible explanation regarding her drive for work, but the mention of the boyfriend caused a total shutdown, and damn if it doesn’t make my heart beat with something I haven’t felt in an exceptionally long time. I stand and walk around to her side of the table, holding out my hand.

Lex puts her small hand in my own. I use it to assist her out of the chair, coaxing her closer before caressing her cheek and lifting her chin gently with my finger. “Lex, did someone hurt you?”

It takes her a moment, but I see the conflict, and the second she decides to confide in me, to tell me the truth instead of a lie. “It’s not something I talk about,” she quips, using that sass I’ve grown to expect to cover up her emotion.

“You do with me, Lex. Tell me,” I coax, continuing to caress her cheek, allowing my finger to trail down the sensitive skin of her neck, to run along her pulse line, gently stroking her skin there and willing her heartbeat to slow and calm.

Her eyes are wide, penetrating, and her lips are parted in thought. I tilt her head and graze her lips with my own. They are soft and moist, and I pull her to me, kissing her deeper.

She parts for me, allowing me to explore all the sweetness she has to offer. I scoop her into my arms and settle her in my lap as I sit down in my chair.

Her body is stiff and upright. I push her curls away from her neck and kiss it softly, trailing my lips along the creamy column until I reach her ear. “Tell me, Lex. What happened that made you shut down?”

“I dated someone a long time ago. The relationship just wasn’t meant to be.”

I pull her closer and cradle her against me, caressing the silky-smooth skin of her nape. “Lex, did he hurt you?”

She nods and leans into my chest as I continue to caress her. “I mistook an abusive asshole for a dominant. It was my fault for not thoroughly researching, not paying attention to the warning signs, and for staying so long after I realized what was happening. I should have told you before I agreed to come to Italy with you. You have the right to know that. I should have told you that before we … well, before we ended up here.”

“How old were you when you were in that relationship, Lex? Is it the same six-month relationship that’s referenced in the report I’ve read?”

She nuzzles into my shoulder. “One and the same, and far too young. I had just finished my last year of high school. He captivated me at first, and our relationship just moved too fast. I hated the way he treated me, and I didn’t say a word. I was so ashamed, and it took an awful night to get me to leave,” she acknowledges, and every muscle in my body tenses with the thought of her at the hands of someone who hurt her. Fuck!

“Look at me, Lex.”

She does, and I see the emotion swirling in her eyes. “You do know that not all men want to hurt their partners, right?”

“I do now, but I don’t have any right to even claim being a submissive, Sheldon. I know that I’m extremely attracted to you and love it when you take charge, keep me protected, and feed me, but I can’t tell you with complete honesty what I want in a relationship. I’m scared of having rules placed on me again. How fair is that to anyone who gets involved with me?”

“So, you’ve decided to steer clear of affairs and just settle for being alone for the rest of your life?” I don’t tell her I’ve done the exact same thing myself because it’s just now dawned on me that that’s exactly what I’ve done.

Alexis nods, but she’s looking directly at me. “That’s about right. I left him and threw my focus into being the most independent and self-supporting person I could be. Then you came along, and there it was, that undeniable attraction to a dominant personality, but…”

“But what, Lex? I am most definitely dominant, no question about it, and you are without a doubt submissive. I not only like to be in control but need that in a relationship. The intent of that control, however, is something we should talk about, explore together, to see if we’re compatible in more than the bedroom. I think we both know we’re going to be more than harmonious in that area.”

“What about the rules?”

“I do have rules, Lex, and this is as good a time as any to talk about them.” I watch as the emotion crosses her eyes before she casts them downward. “I see that’s one of the first things we’re going to need to discuss.” I straighten in my seat and turn her. She’s anxious, so nervous about this that it makes my chest tighten knowing that this conversation isn’t casual for her. It means as much to her as it does to me. “I’m not a dominant who likes your eyes downcast when we’re talking like this. I want to see them, Lex. I want to see the emotion you’re going through, and I can’t do that if you hide those beautiful eyes from me, now can I?”

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