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“Somewhat,” he said. “I have support. You do as well, if you let us in.”
“I don’t want to be broken anymore,” I admitted as a tear finally escaped.
Lake’s face crumpled at my words, and he pulled me in close. Instinctively, my nose pressed to his chest as he held me, and my breath caught as I inhaled the first glimpse of the scent he’d hidden from me for so long.
It was a complex scent. There were hints of alpha musk mixed with saltwater and summer breeze. It was refreshing and free.
It fit him.
He must have realized that I froze in his arms and backed away.
“I’m sorry. Was that too much too fast?”
“You’re my mate, Lake,” I said. Warmth and guilt flooded me as the realization finally sank in. The hope mingling under the surface was something I couldn’t let take hold. I had to protect myself.
“I stopped taking blockers a few days ago. I figured this was my one chance to let you know,” he admitted. He’d always had a way of reading me, of knowing exactly what I wanted to say.
Everett may have seen into my soul and knew every part of me, but Lake always understood me. It wasn’t until now that I realized that they were two halves to a whole on a different level, and now I’d never get to experience them together.
Tears started to fall again, and I forced myself to get up and move. Lake tried to protest, but I was already out of the room and in the kitchen. I didn’t care what time it was or if I’d wake anyone else.
I started opening cabinets and pulling down the supplies, the clatter of dishes far too loud.
It wasn’t until I had ingredients in front of me and was forming a dough for cinnamon rolls that I realized what I was doing.
It was the same breakfast that I’d cooked with their mom a million times in this very kitchen. It always felt like such an important thing to do – that I was learning a family recipe from someone who is more like a mom than my own mother was for a long time.
To me, it was never just simply baking together, it was a memory that we created every summer for most of my important years.
I fell into the easy tradition, letting it soothe my soul. It was fracturing even further than I thought possible here and I needed to counter it with something good.
The dish towel was full of my tears more than it was flour, but I kept working, focusing on the task at hand. I dug out Linda’s old timer and set it so I could let the dough rise.
The sound of the faucet turning on had me jumping, the whisk flying from my hand and clattering to the ground. Riven turned to me, cocking one eyebrow as he filled the coffee pot.
“I didn’t realize anyone else was awake. Sorry,” I said in a rush, turning back to the dough and staring down at the bowl. Even though my heart was pounding in my chest and my head was spinning, I had gone from a soul-deep sadness to startled, and it was sending me in a tailspin.
My breath started to come faster, and this time I didn’t recognize it as a panic attack until it slammed into me full force.
An unfamiliar scent hit me before somebody was putting their hand on my back and stepping up to my side. I looked over to see Drew, and my eyes widened, but it did nothing to help calm my senses.
My nose was assaulted by the scent of palo santo. It was subtle and masculine, a mix of wood and understated citrus. My body reacted immediately, instinctively leaning in even as my chest heaved in shallow pants.
He was my scent match, too.
What the fuck was happening? Why was the universe throwing all this at me at once? I was only one omega, there was only so much I could take.
“Hey, breathe in and hold it,” Drew said. His voice was low and soothing but it did nothing to calm the raging storm.
He kept talking and I tried to focus on his words but they just weren’t breaking through.
“Hey!”
Riven’s voice cut through loud enough I took in a startled gasp. He shoved Drew aside, a little more gently than I would have expected, and put his hands on my cheeks, forcing me to look at him.
I stared up at him with wild eyes, frantically trying to pull away, but he wasn’t letting go.
“Breathe in right now. Slowly,” he demanded. There was an alpha command in his voice, and he wasn’t letting me get away with this anymore.
