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My body did the opposite, my heart pounding in my chest even faster as his scent settled over me.
Oak and bourbon. Smooth, clean, warm, and intoxicating.
He was my mate, too. That likely meant that Micah was as well. They were a pack after all.
God, this had to be some colossal fucking joke. The universe kicking me while I was down. It was dangling a pack in front of me when it knew damn well this would never work.
“You don’t get to hide from this. Take a fucking breath,” Riven demanded again. His voice was loud and forceful as he stared down at me.
His green eyes were piercing into me, and I couldn’t seem to look away.
He didn’t give up, continuing to yell at me through the chaos in my brain.
Finally, I let my eyes flutter closed, and I forced myself to take a breath.
“Hold it,” he commanded. “One, two, three.”
He took over exactly what Drew was saying, but the command in his voice was forcing me to listen, my omega complying to one of her alphas.
When I finally had my breathing back to normal, my eyes narrowed at him, and I stepped back. He let me go willingly and let out an annoyed huff of laughter.
“You going to run from me now?”
“This has to rise. I gotta go clean the flour off myself. I’m fine,” I said in a rush as I brushed my hands off on my apron and started to run from the room.
Micah stepped in the way with his expression full of concern. His scent hit me as I ran past, solidifying what I’d already suspected.
They were all my mates.
I slammed my door closed behind me and leaned against it, wishing I could get Micah’s scent of warm sugar cookies out of my nose. It was like a warm hug.
Maybe that was why I didn’t tailspin into another panic attack.
Thank god for that.
Instead, I went to my usual methods, grabbing the leather-bound journal off of the dresser and the pen that was always safely tucked inside.
I poured my soul out on those pages, knowing I’d never get a response, but feeling better all the same.
As the words filled the lines, my chest untightened a little at a time, my breathing a little bit easier.
My head still hurt, but that was always a result of a panic attack. At least now I was in control.
Dear Everett,
Lake found a pack. They’re here with us now, and apparently, they’re all my mates. Yesterday, I was planning to leave this life behind, to give up. I stayed for Lake, but I worry that it might have been a mistake. They’re going to expect me to be their omega, Everett. How am I going to be anybody’s but yours? That’s been my identity for so long that I don’t know how to be anything else.
They aren’t going to want an omega who’s broken, who cries way too much, who barely knows who she is anymore.
I’m damaged goods.
They all deserve better than this, and I can’t give them anything other than what I am.
How do I move on? How do I keep living? I wish you could give me all the answers, but those days are past.
I’m going to have to figure out how to be Shaye again.
I don’t know if I’m strong enough.
