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“I’m sorry you hurt yourself. Does it hurt?”
“I’ve had worse,” he said, and the darkness in those words sent a shiver down my spine.
Ending the day with one of us bleeding was not exactly ideal.
The blood wasn’t seeping through the tissues yet but I couldn’t seem to let go of his hand.
“I can hold pressure on it, you know,” he offered. There wasn’t much fight in it, and his voice was oddly soft, though still gravelly.
“I’m the reason you’re hurt. Shut up and take it, alpha.” He didn’t argue this time, but he tried his best to fight the smile on his lips, and I did the same.
It felt as if some of the tension between us fell away. Maybe Everett had been right. This journey was already crumbling some of my walls.
If I let myself stay in the moment, I knew I would fall for them. In some ways, I already was.
ChapterThirteen
Shaye
My scream cut off as I woke up with a start. It was the last of many nightmares that plagued my night. It seemed the moment I put my guard down, my subconscious took over for me.
The guilt and shame of finding peace with someone else was haunting me. Now, the last thing I wanted to do was go back to sleep again.
I couldn’t face the nightmares.
The house was still quiet when I crawled out of bed. We’d all moved into Micah’s house. Between getting myself settled into my room at Micah’s and us ordering pizza for dinner, I hadn’t had much time to think.
We chatted about the train station, and thankfully, Riven didn’t end up needing stitches. He let me clean and patch it when we got back… though reluctantly.
It was frustrating that I’d had such a good day yesterday. I’d even started to see myself letting the guys in. I wanted them to be a part of my life and the way they made me feel when I was around them was addictive.
I deserved to be happy.
I wanted to let the pain go.
Then why couldn’t my brain give me a break? Why did it have to haunt me even in sleep and try to pull me back into the pit I’d fallen in.
I hated the conflict building up inside of me. My emotions had shifted from sadness and grief until all I had left was anger.
Staying in bed was no longer an option. I needed to clear my head.
I jotted a quick note to the guys and left it on the fridge, attaching it with a magnet before grabbing my keys and heading for my car.
The drive out to the cabin was quiet. The early morning fog still clung to the streets of Lockwood as I wound my way out of town.
The sun was stronger by the time I pulled in front of the cabin, and I was relieved to see no one else was around.
It was just me, nature, and my anger—nothing else.
With a sigh, I left my keys in my car before climbing out. I didn’t head for the cabin but for the lake behind it, winding my way to the dock and picking up rocks as I walked.
I sat on the edge of the dock, staring out at the water with my feet tucked under me. My chest was tight, my body tense, and my face set in a scowl.
Instead of writing out my feelings today, I spoke them into the early morning light.
“I’m so mad that you left me, Everett. I’m angry that I can’t find myself anymore. I had a plan. Now you’re forcing me to stay. I’ve been a zombie for a fucking year, a shell of myself. All for nothing.”
Grabbing a rock next to me, I launched it into the water, watching as it sank down under the surface.
