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“Good. I don’t want him scared. I know being scared of stuff as a kid is normal, but I don’t want to be the one to scare him,” Fen said.
“He loves you, Fen. Babies love everyone who’s around and sweet to them. You’re both of those things. You don’t scare him.”
Fen nodded and sniffled as he took the hammer in both hands. I scooted back, giving him room to work and wondering if we should’ve worn safety goggles. Fen closed his eyes as he swung, and I closed mine too. He brought it down hard and the sound ricocheted across the backyard. When I opened my eyes, he panted, looking down at the brown pieces of the pot. Its white base with the carefully painted flowers was a pile of broken pieces. I waited for him to hit it again, but he didn’t. He didn’t need to blow it to smithereens. He just needed to make it less than it was, and he’d accomplished that job.
Fen lay the hammer down and shifted into his wolf form. He ran around in circles a few times sniffing the yard before he started digging. I cocked my head to the side trying to figure out what was going on. Some pups dug when they were anxious, but Fen was a little old for that to be the case.
“Bury it!”My wolf chimed into my thoughts, figuring out our mate’s intentions before I did.
I carefully wrapped the towel around all the broken pieces of the teapot and carried them across the yard to where Fen dug his hole. I shifted, sighing with relief, as I let my inner beast out from his inner sanctum. He stretched his legs and wagged his tail. Then he set to work digging on the other side of the hole. When all was said and done the hole was probably bigger than it needed to be, but it was a hole. We carefully nosed the broken pieces into it, and each took a piece of towel in our mouths to shake out the shards. Then we buried the teapot, its blood stain, and any connection it ever had to Bram Valen.
When the job was done, Fen flopped onto his belly panting from how hard he moved the dirt. I flopped down next to him and leaned up against his side. He leaned his head against mine, still panting. We lay like that through all of Baby Faran’s naptime with our furry bodies pressed close together. I wanted to kiss him, but wolves didn’t kiss like humans. At least, I wouldn’t kiss someone who didn’t want to be kissed again – as I had with Starry.
Chapter Seventeen
Fen
By the time I lived with Marcus, Irwin, and Baby Faran for a month, Irwin and I had systematically buried every artifact I owned from the Bram Valen days. I kept all my sentimental items that belonged to my parents or the folks I knew and loved back then, but the rest – mostly all online purchases, went into tiny graves across the backyard. I kept waiting for Irwin to say we dug enough holes or for Marcus to complain about how we tore up the backyard, but neither of them objected. Marcus never even brought it up. He was good about things like that, though. He never pressed on my sore spots if he could help it.
With each broken item that went into the ground, I felt lighter – freer. It was as if every item shoved Bram Valen’s violence further behind me. Irwin and I bonded over real life horror stories and killing off whatever was left in my possession of Bram Valen’s empire, but I still felt so far away from Marcus. It was my own fault. Marcus was always around when he wasn’t working. He was always available to talk or hangout, but I never really knew what to say to him. I never considered myself traumatized to the point that I was afraid of Alphas, but how tongue-tied I got around Marcus made me reconsider that.
Not being able to really talk to him made me ache deep inside. The true-mate magic hadn’t settled down even after a month. Some nights I woke up sweating and rocking my hips from dreams of my mates. The magic knew what it wanted, but I couldn’t give in. Not yet at least, but that didn’t mean the magic was going to leave me alone. More and more often my thoughts drifted off to how it might feel to press my naked body against theirs or how their fingers might feel all wrapped around my hard cock. The magic pushed, but I was stubborn.
One afternoon not long after the last of the items had been laid to rest, Irwin and I lay stretched out on the floor of his office playing the card game WAR. Baby Faran slept between us on a blanket. It was now or never if I was going to ask for Irwin’s advice. Sure, maybe I should’ve just told Marcus how I felt, but it was hard to talk when his presence tied my tongue into knots.
“I hope Marcus doesn’t think I don’t like him,” I blurted out as I laid out a two and Irwin tossed out a Jack.
He picked them both up and blinked at me.
“Why do you say that?” He asked, holding his next card to play in his hand.
“I---” I started but couldn’t finish. “Never mind. It’s probably all in my head. Let’s play.”
“Hold on,” Irwin sat up and laid his thick stack of cards aside.
He was winning, but now that the topic turned to our relationship, he didn’t seem to care at all.
“I didn’t mean to upset you,” I said, squeezing my cards in a death grip.
“I’m not upset. Marcus doesn’t think that. At least I don’t think he does. I’d know. Mating link and all.”
“I---” I tried again, but the words lodged themselves in my throat and refused to budge.
“Take your time. I got all day. Not like there’s a lot going on in Heartville these days,” he grinned, and leaned back on the palms of his hands.
“I feel like every time I try to talk to him, I’m all tongue tied, Ir,” I sighed.
“That’s pretty normal, I think. We’ve had more time together, because right now I’m working on researching your story. It probably helps that we’re omegas too. We tend to befriend when we’re nervous.”
“Maybe,” I said, setting my smaller stack of cards aside before I bent them in half. “He’s just---”
“Hot? Sexy? Adorable? Sweet? The best sire in the universe? Funny? Cuddly? I could go on,” Irwin grinned.
“Yes?” I laughed. “All of those.”
“I know the claiming vows are supposed to fix this problem, but ---” I trailed off.
“Don’t worry about that. Romance isn’t just sex. Relationships certainly aren’t just sex,” Irwin said.
