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“I know. I just feel like I’m torturing all of us,” I said and turned bright red.
Had I really just admitted that it felt like torture not to have sex with him and Marcus? How had I even allowed myself to mutter that aloud?
“Then think of it as tension. Sexual tension can be nice,” Irwin said. “It’s part of the fun – that tingly anticipation.”
My blush crept up to the roots of my hair.
“I didn’t mean to embarrass you,” Irwin added quickly. “I’m sorry if that was going too far.”
“No. You’re fine. I’m just--- I’m not good at any of this,” I shook my head. “I don’t know ---”
“Are you ready?” Irwin asked.
“Umm--- Ready for??” My words trailed off. “Not ---”
“Dating?” Irwin offered up.
“I think I can do dating as long as no one expects me to be good at it.”
“It’s hard to be bad at dating unless you don’t show up or talk with your mouth full or something,” Irwin laughed. “Hey! Maybe I could get you some one-on-one time with Marcus!”
I blushed harder than I thought possible.
“Or I’ll be there if you want! Or we can go on a date or whatever really,” he said, starting to trip over his words.
“Now I have you tongue tied,” I sighed and rolled over onto my back to stare up at the ceiling.
“Not in a bad way,” Irwin said. “I just--- It’s so easy to know how to help Marcus now. It’s a reflex to feel his emotions over our mating link. I feel like me and you are blind dating in a way because we don’t have that. I don’t know how anyone ends up with a chosen mate. They’re braver people than I am. I could never figure out dating. Eventually, I gave up because people freaked out about my second claiming gland.”
“Those people suck cacti,” I huffed. “You’re great Irwin. You and Marcus are both great and I think that’s why I get so nervous sometimes. You both just move so seamlessly with each other, and it makes me feel like I’ve got two left feet and never know the right thing to say. So, most of the time I just say nothing – especially with Marcus. He’s bigger than me. He’s --- I know he’d never hurt me, but I think,” I took a deep breath but couldn’t finish the sentence.
“It’s okay. I don’t blame you for not trusting people,” Irwin said, scooting closer and laying his hand over mine.
“I want to trust him, though. I want to be normal and have a normal life. I want to just be a normal person.”
“Normal is a setting on the dishwasher,” Irwin said as he stretched out next to me. “And I don’t think you’re weird.”
“You think I’m traumatized,” I rolled my eyes.
“I do, but you said that. What I was going to say was I think you’re awesome and that’s not just the true-mate magic talking. You’re a good cook, my kid loves you. I could talk to you forever. Seriously, forever. I think you’d be surprised how many people get tongue tied around people they like, and I guess if you don’t know Marcus he could be scary.”
“I’ve never reacted to other Alphas that way. I don’t see random Alphas on the street and think that way,” I said, wanting to make sure Irwin knew I wasn’tthatdamn traumatized.
“You don’t trust them, so they can’t hurt you,” Irwin shrugged.
“So, you think the problem is I trust Marcus already?” I laughed.
“Maybe or the fact you want to messes with the messy parts of your past,” Irwin said. “So, will you go on a date with us?”
“After all that you still want to take me on a date?” I arched a brow.
He took my hand in his and kissed it.
“If you’ll have us, Fen.”
“Of course, I want to go on a date with you two,” I said and leaned in.
I stopped just short of kissing him. I wasn’t sure what rules he and Marcus had established around me. Irwin’s eyes drifted closed for a microsecond before he pulled away. My wolf whined inside of me, and I felt like a giant ass for denying him all the things he wanted from life.
