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Ronan nodded. "I'll be ready."
He was as close to me as a brother, and in that moment I appreciated him all the more. He may have suggested going back to my old job, but I couldn't help but wonder if we could find something else, something better that wasn't under so much scrutiny all the time. The only way to know was to go back to the human lands and then ask for forgiveness from the council and from the Sun King.
With the plan somewhat decided I went back to my room and shoved what I thought I'd need into a bag. Most of it consisted of clothing from the human lands along with the pendant and ring I could use to activate my glamour. I wasn't skilled enough to cast the incantation and make it last any significant length of time, so I used enchanted items instead, just like Ronan.
The idea of just walking away from Senara tore at my chest and there were instances while I was packing that I almost stopped to go and find her. Sometimes I even convinced myself that I could do that by sheer force of will, like I could hunt her down just from the feeling in my chest. It was a need like no other, almost an addiction.
When she was taken away for testing I'd felt as though part of me had gone with her, and I had to fight the urge to go and find her and get that part back. It wasn't my place, gods, it wasn't even allowed. We were from different courts.
There was no way we could ever be together.
No matter how much I may wish it was different.
With my bag packed and the moon having set a little while ago I made my way to the courtyard in front of the joined halls where the banquet had taken place. I knew that Ronan would be able to find me here and then we could leave. I could put this whole episode with Senara behind me.
Once we got to Sanctuary I'd send the council a raven to let them know what my plans were and to apologize. Going back tothe human lands was the only thing I could see in my future that didn't involve pain, either fighting to be with Senara, which was hopeless if I was being honest with myself, or watching her be with someone else once she got over the little crush she had on me.
Memories assaulted me. The way she'd run into me the first time we met, the way she'd opened the door to her room that night, the sound of her voice as she called my name, seeing her again when she reported for duty that first time, and everything that came thereafter. My heart pounded in my chest like a war drum, demanding that I go to her instead of walking away but I had to listen to my logic for once in my life.
If I went to her now, I'd never leave, instead I felt sure I'd find myself in her bed and that I'd never be parted from her again, at least not without bloodshed. Which was precisely why I had to go.
Now.
Ronan appeared the next moment, just as my will was faltering and with a silent nod the two of us walked out of the courtyard in the direction of the Veil of Death. The only difference was this time it felt like the veil might actually kill me as punishment for abandoning Senara.
I knew that logically that wasn't going to happen and yet every instinct in my body was telling me I was making the wrong decision. Apparently, until I got this out of my system I couldn't trust myself.
Chapter
Twenty-One
Senara
I waited in the sparring room for what felt like forever. Lord Dastesci had provided me with a room and informed me that a notice would be sent to Thorn to let him know I'd be waiting to start training the next day. Now I was here, had been for a while, and Thorn was nowhere to be seen.
It made sense in a way. Surely it should have been a time agreed upon by both parties, not just declared by Lord Dastesci. We weren't his minions as much as he seemed to think otherwise.
After waiting around for longer than I probably should have, I finally decided that enough was enough. I got up and went back to the room that I had been allowed to use, and changed into something more appropriate for wandering around a palace.
Guards and soldiers and the like might be comfortable seeing a woman walking around in my previous outfit, but looks I got going to the training room the first time I gathered that most people were not, and if I was going to go and track down Wyn like I wanted to, then I didn't want to get her in trouble or draw any negative attention to her because of what I was wearing.
I'd landed on a green overdress that laced like a corset in the middle with a cream long sleeved chemise. The brown leather trim on the overdress made me feel more at home in the clothes in a strange way since I was so used to wearing leathers while fighting. Wearing a skirt was still not my favorite though.
My hair was loose, hanging in waves down my back so that it could hide the mark on my neck and the part of my shoulder that the dress exposed. I wasn't sure there was any way for me to hide the part of the mark that was almost on my face, but at least the bulk of it was obscured, which would hopefully mean less stares than I'd experienced this morning when I was trying to get to the training room.
It took many wrong turns and asking quite a few different people, but eventually I found myself standing in front of the dorm for the College of Mages. I interrupted a few more people in their morning activities before finding out which room was Wyn's, and when I knocked on the door, she opened it almost immediately, as though she was getting ready to head out.
"Sen!" She exclaimed. Her eyes went wide at the sight of me, and even wider when she realized I was in a dress.
I shrugged a tight smile on my face. "You told me to come and find you."
"I was just heading out. Do you want to come and meet Volker?" she asked, her eyes sparkling either with anticipation or affection I wasn't sure which.
"Sure." I nodded, hoping that I was looking neutral enough and not letting Thorn's vanishing act outwardly bother me too much.
There was a distinct bounce in Wyn's step. I was worried I'd destroy her good mood if I told her what was going on with me.
When we reach the bottom of the stairs. I saw a fae male who appeared to be waiting for someone. When his gaze landed on Wyn he smiled and it lit up his whole face. His pale hair madeit seem like he was from the Moonlit Court, but I wasn't sure. The pale blue of his eyes let me know I'd been on the right track though.
