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Naturally, Isaac passed the rope to Tanner who carried it back to Ty. And there, with everyone watching them on the big screen, I saw my boyfriend slap my ex on the shoulder like they were old friends. Ty paused. A few words were traded, and then confusion took over Tanner's face.
"And now he knows," J.D. said softly beside me.
Up on the leaderboard, Ty's score flashed: 84.0. It wasn't good, but I hadn't seen his ride. A part of me hoped he was as miserable as I was, but I refused to let my mind go there. Not now. Not until all of this was done. I wasn't here for social games, but rather because this was mydamned job.
I crushed my back teeth together as hard as I could. I would not feel a thing. I was J.D.'s rookie. Today, I was a bitch - because that was easier than wanting to cry over a guy. I would make sure I was a bitch. I had this, I didn't feel a thing, and all those emotions were down in my boots waiting to be released.
"Save it for the bulls," J.D. mumbled.
It sounded like a mantra, and one I was more than willing to hold on to. Back home, the guys had tried to chase me off like this. My first kiss had been a dare. Losing my virginity had been a months-long setup to break me, hoping that would scare me out of bull riding.
Back then, I'd cried. I'd screamed. I'd called Shelby and raged until I couldn't talk anymore. Now, I was a professional bull rider, and I had bigger things to worry about. Men came and went. I'd fucked him because I'd wanted to. I deserved a few one-night stands just as much as the next bull rider, and so what if I was a woman?
I also had a very sexy boyfriend. I had an amazing mentor. More than all of that, those two were my friends, and I was not going to let a little heartbreak chase me away from the one thing I was good at. I was here to prove a point, and if the sponsors didn't like it, then fuck them too. If the fans had a problem with it, well, they'd get used to seeing me eventually.
I was not a damned toy! I was not on "easy mode." I wasn't here for anyone but me, and the last thing my daddy had said before heading back home was that he was proud of me. I might be a girl, but my father had named me after two of the best bull riders in rodeo history, and I was going to prove that I was even better.
So fuck Ty. Fuck this ache in my chest. Fuck the way my eyes kept stinging until I blinked a few times. Fuck all of it.
My name was Cody Lane Jennings, and I was a bull rider. Nothing would change that. Not those boys, not these men, and certainly not a broken heart. Nope, the only thing out here today that might be tougher than me were a few of the bulls, so I just had to cowgirl up and be tougher.
Chapter41
Ty's84.0 was a crappy score for him, but with a buck-off yesterday, it didn't matter. He didn't have a chance of catching up. Thankfully, that meant he headed back inside where I didn't have to look at him while the rest of the riders got their turn.
I refused to think about why his ride had been shit. I would not feel bad for him. Instead, as the cattle mooed and shuffled into place for the next set of riders, I turned my eyes to Tanner. He was out on the sand, his attention locked on the next gate like a football player watching the ball. As soon as it opened, the bull fighters began to move.
Tanner was good. He watched those animals like he could understand what they were thinking. When the rider finally came off, he was right in there, always the first one to get a hand on the bull. This time, it turned away easily, yet I'd seen him jump in the way to save the rider quite a few times this weekend.
That was the kind of protection I wanted. It was the kind that respected me and my ability to do this, not like that crap Ty had been pulling outside. Jealousy had its place – and I wasn't immune from feeling it – but it wasn't the same as possessiveness.Thatwas what Ty had done that pissed me off.
All weekend long, he'd been trying to act like he owned me. He didn't. No one did. That was one thing my daddy had taught me, and it was the only reason Cole hadn't been able to break me. I was used to bull riders thinking they'd hit on me - or fuck me - for a bit, then break my heart to chase me off. It seemed to be their favorite attack.
Back home, the boys had been convinced that being a girl meant breaking my heart would make me shatter. They'd been told girls were soft and ran on emotions. I wasn't. Well, I didn't want to be, so I focused on my goals. And yet this whole thing with Ty? I didn't really think he was trying to run me off.
It was just easier to tell myself that right now. To think about how Cole had failed. I'd picked myself up once, so I could do it again, and anger was tougher than tears. Thinking about how Ty had fucked up kept me on track. Remembering those sweet moments we'd had, or how he'd made me feel beautiful, brilliant, and like I was good at this? It wouldn't do me any favors.
Besides, it didn't matter how incredibly gorgeous Ty was or how sweet he'd been in the past. The way he'd acted this morning - let alone all weekend - crossed a line I couldn't ignore. It said he thought he was better than me, and there was no way to build a relationship with that as the foundation. Not unless I wanted to give up "me" in the process of being "his."
But I needed to stop thinking about him. Crossing my arms over my chest, I matched J.D.'s stance. Both of our feet were shoulder-width apart. Both of us glared at everyone who passed. We didn't need to talk, because we knew what came next. This was just keeping track of the competition until it was our turn to show off.
It came soon enough. Since I was still sitting in fifth place, I was once again riding in the set of bulls before J.D. I watched as the chute attendants raised and lowered the separating gates. The number eight rider, Jaxon Cade, hurried to the other end to pass over his rope.
That was when J.D. finally decided to say something. "You got your head where it needs to be?"
I nodded slightly. "Yep."
"Lying to me?"
That earned him a chuckle. "No, I want this."
He reached up to scratch at his beard. "Just promise me one thing." Then he turned to look at me, our hats almost colliding. "Just this ride. Just this bull."
I dipped my head in agreement. "Right here, right now. I promise."
"Then ride that asshole like you're making a man pay." And he pushed away from the railing to head over to my chute.
I had to turn back to get my rope and helmet, but I wouldn't run after him. This wasmyfucking ride. Maybe J.D. was getting in place early, but that was ok. He was gonna pull my rope for me. This was why we worked, because he treated me like an equal. He trusted me. And the way he talked to me made me feel like I could honestly do this.
