Page 108 of Spur It On

The gates were clanking and the crowd was cheering. It all felt like some kind of a blur. Right here, right now. That was what I hung on to. When I passed my rope to the attendant for my bull, my internal mantra changed a little bit.

Just this ride.

Just this bull.

I had this. I was going to show Ty how much I had this. Fuck that, I was gonna show the whole goddamned world that I had this.

If they wanted to think I was a joke because I was a girl, they were about to be so disappointed. My one fan said the announcer thought I had talent. J.D. said I was the best bull rider in this arena. Maybe I shouldn't care what anyone thought about me, but those two things were what I needed to hear, and now I just had to get to work.

A glance showed the guy beside me strapping in. The moment his gate opened, I stepped over the rail to hover above the back of my bull. The chute guy lifted the end of my rope, and J.D. hopped over to take it – not caring that the last rider was still in the arena. I focused on getting my handle in place.

Once I had it the way I liked it, I glanced up at J.D. He pulled. The bull was not impressed, so he thrashed. His head slinging and tail flipping was enough to make me step higher, giving him room to be stupid. And yet, the moment he settled down, J.D. just pulled again.

This time, the bull tried to come over the front. Its head came up, a leg went over the divider between it and the section before it, and I had to jump out of the chute. With a pissed-off snarl, J.D. just pulled a little harder.

It was like there was some fight between him and this animal, but when the bull put his feet back on the ground, it was clear who'd won. Now, it was my turn. Once again, I made my way back into the chute, then started warming my rope. I yanked that thing as hard as I could, getting a little frustration worked out. When it was warm, I moved on to the handle.

I could almost feel the people moving around on the catwalk. The noise was different, but I didn't look up. Today, I was serious. This was my job. Nothing else mattered. Fuck the rest of the world if they didn't like it.

Shoving my gloved hand into the handle, I reached over to take the rope from J.D. When he pressed the tail into my palm, his eyes met mine.

"The moment your pussy hits the hair, pull all that shit out of your boots and burn it like it's gasoline."

I nodded once, then he crossed back over, patting my helmet on his way. The arena was clear. It was my turn. All I had to do was get this rope tight enough around my hand that nothing was going to throw me off. One time around. Then two, just to be a little crazy.

Once my hand was good, it felt like the entire world took a breath. Everything paused. For a split second, I had an eternity to decide how I was handling this, and I wanted to be a little crazy. I was tired of being the good girl, having people call me sweet, and getting that confused with my ability.

I was J.D.'s goddamned rookie.

Decision made, I pulled my feet off the rails, dropped onto the bull's back, and nodded in one smooth move. The gate guys had to hustle to get the latch released. The metal swung open, and my bull surged out.

Up. Higher than I'd ever been before, this bull threw himself towards the sky, but I was right there with him. When we reached the top, he kicked out. My right arm was in the air with "Girls Do It" waving above my head for everyone to see – because I was doing this.

All four feet hit the ground at the same time. The beast slung his head to the side, dust drifted from his hide, but he was bluffing. He didn't want to go that way; I could feel it in his back. So when he reared up again, I wasn’t surprised at all.

Then I added my spurs.

I wanted bigger. I wanted better. Clenching my arm, I pulled my crotch right up against that handle and dug in with my heels. The bull's hips went so high that he crashed into my shoulders, but I didn't budge. I had this.

Around to the right, he spun out of my hand. As his bucking started to get consistent, I gave him a little more spur, flapping my leg to get that much more bite to it, and the beast responded. He had all four feet on the ground again then switched directions, letting his hips lag behind.

I felt myself slip, but I didn't give a damn. I just clenched my riding arm harder and pulled. He wanted to make me look weak? He thought I couldn't take care of myself? Let him see how good I could do when nothing was stopping me.

All the frustration, all the anger, all this sadness, insecurity, and rage that was fueling me came out. I had no clue why J.D. thought I should put it in my boots, but just to prove the point, I flopped my legs harder, telling myself I was shaking it out.

Again, the bull launched into the sky. One more time, he landed hard, but I didn't rock forward. Keeping my chin tucked to my chest, I just sat up there and took it. That was what we girls were supposed to do, right? Everyone else pushed us around, but we just adjusted, adapted, and took it.

That was what made me the best bull rider here.

Because I could do all of that. I also wouldn't let go. No, this was going to be a ride to remember, and I was gonna spur it on, making it as big as I fucking could. Let the world see my heartache. Maybe Ty was even watching. This was how I handled the pain in my chest, becauseIwas the one in charge here.

I went where I wanted. I made my own decisions. I was unstoppable. I was definitely tough enough, and if that man thought I would cry over him, then he needed to learn I wasn't that kind of girl. I was the kind chasing a gold buckle.

"Cody!"

I put my spurs on it again, feeling this animal give me even more, and I loved it. Nothing else mattered but the feel of controlling this much power. Right here, right now, I was completely invincible. I had it all in the palm of my hand, and I didn't want to let go. I didn't want to go back to reality. I just wanted a bigger buck, a higher rear, and a louder roar from the crowd.

"Cody! You're done!"

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