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Dean grunted at that. "A sin, huh? You know, according to the BibleIread, most things are sins. I happen to like shrimp. I also had sex before I got married. I smoked, drank - oh, I drank like a fuckin' fish back in my day. Yeah, I did a whole lot of sinning back before Cody came along. Hell, pretty sure I still do my fair share."
"Yeah, but - "
"Stop," he snapped, pushing away from the wall so he could turn to face me. "Tanner, I don't give a shit about who you sleep with. To me, all that matters is who you love. And if loving is wrong, then fuck all the rest, ok? If you're just with those two to get your dick hard, then I'll make sure you regret it, but that ain't what I'm seein'."
"What are you seeing?" I asked softly.
He smiled. "I'm seeing a young man willing to comfort his injured friend. I'm seeing a good cowboy looking after his other friend. Now, I don't care if you're putting girls and boys before that friend part. What matters is that you look at both of them like they matter, ok?"
"Would you be saying the same if it had been Cody under that bull?"
"When itisCody under one," he corrected. "Because it's going to happen, son. That's how it goes with bull riding. She's gonna get hurt. We all do. Thing is, I really like the idea of this crazy motherfucking bullfighter giving a shit about her when he's pulling the wild out of his ass to help her out. The same kind of wild that has him handling the worst bull in the PBR's history out there on his own. The same kind of crazy that makes a manhit the bullinstead of waiting for it to hit him."
"Without Ado wasn't backing off," I tried to explain. "I had to get his attention."
"And not once did you care about that monster running you over next," Dean pointed out. "Nope, you went above and beyond, and now J.D.'s in one piece. Might be cracked around the edges, but he's still in one single piece, Tanner." Then he leaned in. "And that's because you're a good bullfighter. Damned good, and I do know what I'm talkin' about when I say that."
This was more than I could take. Looking away, I felt my fucking eyes start to sting. "I was just trying to keep him safe."
"You in love with him?" Dean asked.
"Working on it," I admitted, needing to sniff at the end of that.
"Aw, c'mere, boy." And this monster of a man pulled me up against his chest and hugged me hard, adding a pair of slaps to my back to go with it. "Go ahead. Let it out."
Fuck! Now my eyes were brimming up. "I'm ok," I mumbled.
His rough hands just ran down my back, the callouses snagging on the fabric of my t-shirt. "No you ain't, and this is the time to crack. I got ya, son. See, that's the thing about dads. We're here to hold ya up no matter what, ok? And since yours isn't here, I'll gladly be your rock when you need it, because there ain't a damned thing wrong with needing one. Ain't a damned thing wrong with crying for shit like this."
I tipped my head and smothered my face in his shirt. "My dad wouldn't."
"Then good thing you got a backup. Anytime you need me, boy, I'll be your dad too." He hugged tighter. "A good man like you? I'd be damned proud to claim you. You did good, Tanner. You saved your boyfriend's life. You. Not y'all. Not them.Yousaved him, and it's ok to be scared of what could've happened." His head bent to rest against the top of mine. "Means you got a damned good heart if you can feel it, so fuckin' feel it. I'll hold you as long as you need."
He didn't say it, but in my mind I heard,it's what a real dad would do, and it was more than I could take. Between one second and the next, I broke. The tears fell from my eyes, and while I didn't sob, I let myself cry. My arms clasped his back, my thoughts went back to the horror of those dreams, and for the first time, I had a dad to lean on.
Chapter30
The soundof notifications going off pulled me from sleep. The chair I was using as a bed sucked, and my entire body hurt - from more than just riding yesterday - but it still took me a moment to realize where I was when I opened my eyes.
The phone wasn't slowing down either.
The sound wasn't mine. Groggily, I looked around, finally spotting the phone charging beside J.D. That was where the noise was coming from. Tossing off my blankets, I was about to get it, figure out whose it was, and make them shut it up, but Tanner was faster.
The man snarled out a string of profanity and leaned. Grabbing the phone, he swiped and tapped at the screen. Then a little smile touched his face.
"Who is it?" I asked.
"Isaac," he replied, his voice rough from sleep. "He is giving me a countdown for how long until I have to be at the arena."
"Shit," I breathed, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. "Right. It's Saturday."
"And you're riding," my father grumbled.
"Yeah, but..." My eyes jumped over to J.D.
His head was to the side. His hands were on his belly and his eyes were open. "You're riding," he told me.
"They're going to release you today," I reminded him. "I'm not leaving you in here all night!"
