AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Chin rested atop her bent knees, all she’d need to do it shift her feet an inch either way, and I’d get a glimpse at what’s under that goddamn T-shirt. “Thinking about what sort of future I might have.” I almost wish she would.
“Ain’t no way you’ll ever figure out what you will get. All you can do is think about what youwantto get.”
Her gaze lifts, finding mine. “That’s the problem. I’ve got too many people hell-bent on controlling what I do for me to hope to take charge of my future.” Her lips twitch in and out of a small smile. “How the fuck do I plan ahead when it’s not me in control?”
“By planning how you’ll react to what others do.”
“Sounds easy in theory.”
I scrub both hands over my face with a groan. “Yeah, it is a bit of a pipe dream.”
“Then why tell me to do that?”
I shrug, hands hitting the sofa either side of me with a slap. “Because it sounded good. Okay? Thought it might make you feel better.”
She smirks. “See? You do care about what others think.”
“I care about you,” I correct her before wishing I could bite off my traitorous tongue.
We stare at one another, her unblinking, before I turn and grab the poker. The sharp end shunts into a piece of wood, knocking it further into the center of the flame. I jab and prod a dozen more times before Rae dares talk again.
“What will happen to me?” she whispers, hesitant and unsure. “In your experience?”
I draw a deep breath and stare into the dancing amber glow. In my experience, few walk away from this situation with their soul intact. If death doesn’t come, then most wish for it anyway once they realize how fucked the rest of their life is. Either take a place in a witness protection program or live your remaining years on the run, forever looking over a shoulder.
Most go mad.
“You’re going to need to choose the lesser evil.” I lay the poker down and run my palms over my thighs. “You left Connor because you didn’t want his old man ownin’ you, right?” I chance a look her way.
She nods, hair framing her face, chin still on her knees.
“Well, the way I see it is, no matter how you find safety or security, you’re gonna owe someone for it. You’re past the point of doin’ it alone, Rae. To have a future, you gotta sell it to someone first. Question is, who you gonna offer the deal to?”
She frowns, and tilts her head to rest one cheek atop her knees. It only takes a moment to figure out why: she doesn’t want me to see her cry.
I respect that.
“You been offered witness protection?”
She shakes her head almost imperceptibly.
“Why not?”
Her words are barely audible over the crackle of sap in the wood. “Because they don’t deem my risk that severe. Plus, they wanted assurance I’d testify before they’d do it.”
“Who’sthey?” I shift around to face her better, elbows on my knees and hands clasped between.
“The prosecutors.” She expels a laden breath. “Nobody could talk to me face-to-face. Everything so far has been done via paperwork with their goddamn administrator. My subpoena, offer of reparation, and the rejection of any protection during the trial or after.” She lifts her head, cheek closest to me, still wet with her tears. “They need my testimony to take him to court. Without it, everything’s circumstantial.” Rae frowns, pain clear in her eyes. “That’s what cuts me the most; by choosing not to testify, he gets to walk free. Free to do the same to someone else.” She buries her face into her knees, adding, “I’m a fucking selfish coward.”
“Hey, now.” I reach out and tap her leg. “That’s a bit harsh.”
“It’s the truth.” Frantic hands wipe at her eyes. “I’m sorry. I should just go upstairs to the room and try to sleep again.”
I catch her as she stands, grip tight around one of her wrists. “Nobody asked you to leave.”
Her gaze flickers from where I touch her to my face. “I just… You don’t seem like you want to?—”
“What?” I give her a little tug, urging her to stand between my legs. “Let you cleanse your liver? Get your shit out in a safe space? I’ll let you in on a little secret, baby girl.” I lean closer,wondering how in the fuck I went from not wanting her burden to feeling as though I already share the load. “As tough and mean as we all look around here, I can assure you that more than one of these men has cried when the going’s got too tough.”
