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She frowns, peering down at me as though disbelieving of the fact.
“True story.” I recline, spreading my arms along the back of the sofa. “Most of us have reached overwhelm, got to that point where we feel as though we can’t go on. That it’s just too hard. Too hard to face the consequences. Too hard to see anything beyond the chaos.”
Interestingly, she decides to stay put, arms folded over her chest where she stands between my legs, soft thighs brushing my knees in intervals.
“And you’ve… cried?” Her brow twitches.
“It’s human nature to want to let the tension out of the body, Rae. I’d much rather a brother let his tears show than he punched up his old lady or wrecked a bike.”
Her head bobs slowly. “I guess that makes sense.”
“Damn straight it does.” I tangle my fingers in hers and urge her to move closer. “So how about you sit your goddamn ass down and let it all out? Tell me what scares you the most, Rae. And then tell me what I can do about it.”
13
RAE
He saidwhatIcan do about it. Not we, or us. Digger talks as though he takes this personally. Why? What haunts him so bad that he sits down here alone at night rather than seeking help from this so-called family around him? Maddie said nobody stands alone, but all I’ve seen so far of the man before me is an island amongst the chaos. I stare down at our joined hands, at the hem of my sleep shirt brushing the rough denim on his jeans, and try not to let the gentle caress of his fingers against my bare leg undo me.
It's been a while since anyone has touched me that way. With care.Reverence.
I crave it.
“You gonna sit, or am I gonna have to make you do it?” He gives a gentle tug again.
There’s nothing about his gesture that says he expects me to settle anywhere other than on his legs. I glance at the leather cushion beside him and then at the man himself.
“Pick what makes you feel better, baby girl,” he urges. “But I know I’d feel better if I could hold you a while.”
Fuck me.If I wasn’t already questioning my sanity, I am now. He adjusts his legs as I shift mine, allowing me to climb astride his lap, one knee to the cushion at a time. My naked sex brushes against the stiff peak of his jeans, making me hyper-aware that this isn’t something you usually do with a person you’ve just met.
Fake relationship or not.
“Don’t hurt me, okay?”
He sighs, hands settling on my waist. “I’d say enough people have done that already. Wouldn’t you?”
Fuck him and his observations.
"You told Tyke what happened that night?"he asks with a frown.
Digger doesn't even look at me. His gaze is on his hand, or where it roams, fussing with the wrinkles of my shirt as he makes his way north. His fingers settle in a lock of my loose hair, the gentle tug easing when his gaze slips back to mine.
“No. I haven't told anyone.” Is he jealous? Mad that his older brother would get the dirt first? "Maddie only knows a little about what went down."
He lets loose a satisfied hum from deep in his throat. "You wanna tell me?"
I search his gaze, the way he studies my eyes, too. There's no deviation to my lips or perusal of my tits like most men when they're angling to get something more out of me. He seems genuinely interested in what I went through. What I know.What I know—damn it.I shut my mouth as soon as my lips part. Connor’s warning echoes in the back of my mind as I look a little closer at this rough and ready biker before me.Do they just want to use me?
"You don't need to if it's too hard to voice." His hand slips away, resting on the seat. An invitation for me to trust him. To be the one searching for more.
To give permission.
Is this simply another manipulation, though? Take his touch away and make me crave it? Make me want to share the details of that night just so I can get the good feeling back? My breaths quicken, gut a tight knot.Thisis what angers me the most—being at a loss on who to trust. Not knowing if Icanever trust someone again. Sure, I came here for help staying safe, and I think I'll get that, but Digger said it himself: who do I sell my soul to?
He’s already written the contract.
Do I sign it by agreeing to act out this ridiculous lie?
