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Fuck me.
I should've just stayed the fuck in bed.
34
RAE
Maddie walksinto where I sit on the foot of the bed, phone between my hands while I run my fucking brain in circles looking for another out for this madness.
“You okay?”
I set my phone aside—done with it after five minutes already—and stretch both arms above my head. "Does he always treat you like that?'
"Kane?" She crosses the room and flops down to lie next to me, feet on the floor.
"Yeah." I turn to face her, weight on my elbow.
"Nope." Mads stares up at the ceiling. "He's hot and cold, for sure. Some days he's the sweet older brother, but others, he's fucking Grumpy Mc'Grumperson."
"He yanked on your hair," I point out. "Like he's fucking five years old."
"It's better than what he does to Harvey."
“He’s your younger brother, right? The one watching me attempt to ride.”
She nods, glancing up at me. "He's a goof. Still a kid, really, even though he filled out and became a man a few years ago." She smiles. "Is it bad if I don't want him to grow up?"
"I guess not." Especially if it means Harvey joining the club like his older brother. "Why do you think he behaves like that? Kane."
She shrugs. “Don’t all brothers?”
“Maybe.” I glance down at my hand and pick at a nail. It’s been years since I’ve seen my brother. Long enough, I can’t wholly remember if he was always good to me or if I’ve just romanticized his memory. “Do you think he feels the pressure of being the president’s son?”
“Without a doubt.” She snorts. “But I feel the same pressure, and it doesn’t make me a bitch.” A pause and then, “All the time, anyway.”
“The book I was reading said that the position of President usually stays in the family. Like some underground royalty thing. Does that mean Kane will take over from your dad?”
“It’s likely.” Maddie sighs, rolling her head to face me, hands clasped over her stomach. “But it’s also not unusual for it to go to vote if either the son isn’t interested or the remaining officers doubt the son’s ability.”
“You think they’d do that?” I frown.
“Not really.” She chews her lip, facing the ceiling again. “I think he’ll take over because Uncle West won’t want it. And I think he’ll make Harvey his second, which is what worries me more.”
“Why?”
“Because that goon will do whatever his big brother tells him. He idolises Kane, Rae. It’s fucked.”
I push up to a sitting position and continue to pick at my finger for long, quiet seconds. “I’m sorry for starting this shit. I really should have just left town and taken my chances.”
A fist connects with the meaty part of my thigh. “Like I would have let you leave.”
I grin at my best friend, grateful all over again for her unwavering support. She’s never judged me for my opinions or my thoughts, even when I knew in myself they were misguided or wrong. She’s the gentle reminder to get back on track, the encouraging push I need to keep going when the weight of what’s behind feels ready to pull me down.
“What if I did testify?” I whisper into the room.
Maddie stiffens beside me.
“I mean, then there’d be nothing to fight over. I would have done it already, and nobody could use me as blackmail, then.”
