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“Shut up.” She shifts to her side.
“I mean it, Mads. Would that help?”
“Would you look good in an orange jumpsuit, is what you should be asking me.”
“I’m serious.” I give her shoulder a little push.
“I am, too,” she exclaims with a slight laugh. “Shit, Rae. Why do that to yourself?”
“Because then nobody else would go through what I watched Tom endure. Terry wouldn’t be able to hurt another person like he did.”
She sighs, pushing up and shuffling in to take my hand in hers. “Babe. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yes, he could. Even if he were in prison.” She gives my fingers a squeeze. “Testifying against him has the possibility of weakening his influence, but it doesn’t make him go away. It doesn’t stop who he is.”
My chest clenches at the reality of what I plan to say next. “You want to know what’s most fucked about this?”
She watches me, waiting for me to continue.
“One of the main reasons I didn’t immediately run to the cops was because I wanted to protect Connor.”
“From prosecution.” She frowns.
I meet her confused gaze. “From Terry.” I swallow back the shame. “I was worried if I tattled, Terry would take it out on Connor since I was his girlfriend.”
“Babe…”
“I’m so messed up.” I grind my jaw, attempting to stave off the tears.
“You’re fuckin’ too good for this shit, more like.”
“Pardon?” I frown, unsure what the hell she means when I’ve just confessed I wanted to protect the man who hurtmefrom harm.
“All that tells me, Rae, is that you care about people. More than they deserve.”
“I guess.” It is the reason therapists have said why I can’t let go of the hurt that accompanies my parents’ lack of love.
I care deeply enough about them that all I want is the relationshipI’dgive them. I want them to treat me how I treated them—and the fact that they don’t understand that, that they don’t reciprocate, is what tears me apart.
“Whatever happens, we get through it. Okay? That’s what my daddy taught me from when I was a little girl, and it’s what I’ll continue to drill into you until you get it as well.”
Maybe. But, “I’ll understand if your uncle wants to stop this whole charade to save there being any blowback on the club.”
“I won’t.” She chuckles. “That fucker said he’ll step up to take care of you, and I expect him to do it.”
The affirmation warms my heart, yet I don’t say a thing for fear it’ll reveal the truth of how I feel about Digger.
I’m falling fast and hard for the tall, complicated man, and I can’t find it in me to walk away before this becomes a monster of its own. Maybe I’m not as great as she thinks I am.
Perhaps I am as selfish as my parents said I was.
“What was Kane talking about anyway? Who’s this Atticus guy?” The look on Digger’s face when Kane said the name meant that it was serious enough to warrant him listening to Kane’s concerns.
“Nothing,” Maddie dismisses. “It’s related to club business."
"What does that mean?"
"It means." She bops me on the nose. "You don't get to know, and neither of us get to ask." She smirks. "Although I do pester Daddy about it, and sometimes he tells me."
"Special dispensation?" I lift an eyebrow.
