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Lord, help me if it was him. Devil, take me if it was her.
“We didn’t,” he argues. “Not that.”
“But you wanted to, right?” I laugh, bitter and callous.My own fucking brother.Of course, it’d be poetic for him to take the one thing I’ve fucking wanted bad enough for my mind to spend ten minutes thinking about something other than the club.
“It was a one-time thing,” Rae murmurs into the thickening air.
“Sure.” I discharge my fist against the inside of the sofa’s rolled arm. “That’d be why you’re both sittin’ here stealing looks at each other like lust-stricken teenagers.”
“Youtried to kiss her!” Digger hollers, rising to his feet. “You’re mad at me for actually going through with the very same thing you almost did to me.”
“You did it first!” I rise to meet him.
“So fuckin’ what?”
“At least I had the decency to talk to you ‘bout it first!” I’m chest-to-chest with my brother, toe-to-toe, and the only thing that stops me from wrapping my arm around his throat and kicking his feet from under him like I want to is the cry from my left.
“Stop it.” Rae draws her legs up, clutching her knees to her chest. “I don’t want to be the cause of this.”
Only she already is.
And I’m already lost.
Lost to a woman that’s not only out of reach but apparently out of my league, too.
Whoever said it’s lonely at the top wasn’t fucking lying.
It’s lonelyandit hurts. Worse than any bullet I’ve ever taken.
36
DIGGER
Seated on my heels,I turn my head toward where Tyke slammed the door behind him, leaving only Rae and I here. My palms rest on her outer thighs, the contact warm and comforting as I coax her feet to the floor.
She twitches beneath my touch, hands fidgeting with the hem of her shirt. "Is he upset?"
"Not at you." Perhaps that’s a lie. I don't know. We discussed letting Rae pick her man, and maybe he thought I pushed in ahead of the line, but she was just so... desolate.
The fuckin' woman needed a loving touch.
"Do you want to go talk to him?" Rae makes a move to lift her leg between us again.
I hold it firm, leaning in until I settle between her soft thighs. "Don't."
"Don't what?" Chin tilted down, she holds my eye, never blinking.
I daren't look away, either. "Don't hide how you feel anymore." I chuck her under the chin, finishing with my thumb tracing the swell of her bottom lip. "You don't need to."
Her shoulders jump, the connection broken when she stares at the seat beside her. “I didn’t mean to hurt him.” Her face twists and morphs with her pain. “When he tried to kiss me. I wanted to.” She dares a look my way, no doubt gauging the severity of my fractured heart. “I’m sorry.”
“For what, baby girl?” I force the words through a thick throat. I’ve got no actual claim over her. I’ve got no right to get mad about her hooking up with another brother, least of allmybrother.Until Rae’s legitimately locked down as an old lady, she’s allowed to go to whom she pleases and when.
“I’m sorry for coming here and making a mess of things.” She jerks her head back, staring at the ceiling as she groans. “Fuck’s sake. I should have just said no when Maddie messaged you. Should have just got up and left.”
“Hey.” I grip her chin between my fingers and thumb and force her to look at me. “Ain’t anyone here mad they needed to help you. You get that?”
She doesn’t agree. Doesn’t protest either. Just absorbs the truth I tell and lets it wash away.
