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“You make him prove it to you Leen; the same way you’d make anyone prove they love you. How did he do it the first time?”
“He took me out, did little things that I’d like, showered me with his attention rather than money.” Colleen easily remembered their first few dates and the ones after that when she’d told him she didn’t care about money and power, simply about someone being there for her.
“Then make him start there again,” Meredith said holding her hand with a smile. “Date him, make him earn your trust all over again, make him earn your heart. There’s no rush here right? It’s not like we’re facing anything drastic at the bakery, where you just have to get more income in right now and marrying him would provide that. Take it slow, make him earn you and then make him earn Tommy before you let him have your heart again.”
“I don’t know if it’ll be that easy Mere. Look at what happened last night. I’m the person who panics when a man gets too close and yet I didn’t feel one single moment of that with him. How do I stop myself from falling completely in love with him again when he’s the only man I want—the only person I want?” She sighed glancing out the door towards the front of the house. A dark car pulled up across the street and cursed under her breath.
“What’s wrong Leen?” Meredith asked noticing her shoulders tense.
“That’s Avery’s car,” she answered watching him get out and head towards the house. “I can’t deal with him right now.”
“Yes you can honey,” Meredith said rubbing her shoulders. “I’ll be here, you can tell him whatever you want about us, and I’ll back you up either way. He’s not going to do anything to scare you, not if he knows about what happened and loves you—really loves you.”
“Stop being best friend Meredith and be jealous, won’t let anyone else close to me Meredith and get rid of him for today, please?” Colleen asked turning around to face her friend.
“I would if I could honey, but right now you need to talk to him. Tell him you want to slow it down, that that’s why you left without saying good-bye this morning. Tell him you think it’s better if you two don’t sleep together again until you’re sure you can forgive him for pushing you away and you can trust him not to do it again,” Meredith suggested as the doorbell rang. “I’ll stay upstairs with Tommy. If you need me just yell.”
Colleen thought about her suggestions and closed her eyes willing him to simply leave. She didn’t need to be confronted with this today, not after discovering that her son couldn’t possibly be his. She wanted to go upstairs, wrap her arms around Tommy and hold him close, love him and promise him that she’d never let anything hurt him.
The doorbell rang again and she belted her robe tighter before heading over to answer it. She kept a firm hand on the door, barely cracking it open for him to see her, but even that was enough to send desire rushing through her.
“What are you doing here?” she asked quietly not needing Meredith to overhear everything.
“What am I doing here?” Avery questioned in disbelief. “You snuck out of my penthouse this morning Colleen. What do you think I’m doing here?”
“I don’t want to talk about this.” She clutched the door tighter hoping he’d give up and just go away so she didn’t have to deal with the insanity of the situation. “Last night was a mistake.”
“No it wasn’t baby.” He let the edge drop from his voice as he reached out to touch her. “It was incredible and you’re just scared right now. I get that.”
“It was too soon.” She pulled back because his touch would likely send them straight back to bed. “I don’t have any idea how to feel right now. I’ve been in such an upheaval for the last few weeks and yesterday…last night…”
“That’s why you left?” Avery asked feeling a bit of relief hit him until the sound of a car honking reached them. “Baby, can we do this somewhere a little more private?”
“Come inside,” she agreed seeing her neighbors blinds lift at the house across from her and next door their other neighbor came out to get the paper.
Avery slid through the doors looking around as Colleen lowered the blinds in the living room. The house felt like her, it was far more open than the typical New York house and he wondered if she’d chosen it or if Meredith had…and where Meredith was.
He turned back to her, seeing the way the robe clung to her body and pulled her into his arms, unable to stop himself from kissing her.
Colleen felt herself respond to the kiss and nearly gave in, but at the last possible moment, she stopped them, moving over to her favorite chair. She pulled her legs up under her and lifted the pillow into her lap to give her more protection from him—from the way he made her feel actually.
“Colleen, baby,” he said moving over to her side.
“Last night shouldn’t have happened Avery. You know it shouldn’t have.”
“No I don’t baby. It was incredible, magical, and everything it’s always been with us. I know you’re with Meredith but that’s not really the life you want is it?” he asked lifting her chin slightly to look her in the eyes. “You felt it last night. I know you did.”
“Maybe I did, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to let it continue Avery. It was a mistake to go from not seeing each other in four years to sleeping together. I can’t afford to make mistakes like that, and it has nothing to do with the bakery and catering I do. This isn’t just about me anymore Avery. You say you’ll never hurt me, but you promised me that before we got married. You swore to me that you would always love me and then you tossed me aside instead of letting me be there for you.”
“I know I screwed up baby. I made the worst possible choice for us. I let you down, betrayed your faith in me, and hurt you, and I am so sorry for all of it.” Avery gently rubbed his thumb across her cheek making her heart race wildly. “I meant it when I said I would do anything to show you how sorry I am.”
“Then give me some space, please,” Colleen stated pulling back from him. “Two weeks ago, I saw your mom and your sisters for the first time in four years. I saw you for the first time in four years on Wednesday. Last night shouldn’t have happened Avery. I don’t know how I let it happen, why it didn’t scare me for it to happen but I can’t just jump back into our roles from four years ago. I am not the same person anymore. That girl doesn’t exist anymore.”
“Yes she does, you’ve just suppressed her because you were hurt.”
“How do I know that for sure? How do I know that you really meant it when you said you wanted me back, would protect me and Tommy? I’ve spent the last four years clinging to this tiny hope that he was yours…and last night…”
“I shattered that hope,” Avery said seeing the sparkle of tears in her eyes. “You have no idea how much I wish he could be mine baby, how much I wish that had never happened to you. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness but I am begging you for it.”
