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“Wanted you to have something better for when you do your certifications or classes for your daycare. Timber told me about your other laptop and how you mentioned it runs slow and is loud.”
Her cheeks turn pink, and she licks her lips. “T-thank you, you don’t know how much that means to me. I got that one from a friend back in high school and cleared out the viruses she somehow picked up. I cleaned the fan and fixed a few connections, which helped. However, since I was saving my money to get us out of Preston’s grasps, I chose not to spend money on replacing the necessary hardware. Instead, I used it only as much as I needed to so that it wouldn’t be on for extended periods of time.”
Smoke gives her a look I can’t quite decipher.
She hesitantly looks in the backpack and pulls out a new kindle and cover. If I hadn’t seen Levi, Sasha, and Roxy reading on them so much, I wouldn’t know what the fuck it was or what it’s for. Though, I bite my lip not to chuckle at her confusion as she looks it over. She looks fucking adorable.
“Um, what’s this?”
“It’s a kindle, and it’s all set up for you with the premium subscription. According to Levi, you can read books for free or buy eBooks as well. Instead of always carrying around a few bulky paperbacks, this will store the eBooks you buy,” Smoke says.
Her eyes bug out and judging by the way she’s clutching the kindle to her chest, I have a feeling she’ll be spendinglotsof time reading.
“You guys,” she says, sniffling as she wipes her eyes. “You guys and the ladies really are all like fairy and biker godmothers and godfathers with everything you’re doing for me and accepting me. Except for my grandparents, Peggy, and Glen, I’ve never had anyone care this much about me before.”
Ignoring the dark look that passes over Smoke’s face, I walk over to her, and pull her into my arms. “This is the way you should have always been treated, Sunshine. And bet your pretty ass, if Smoke had known about you, you would have had a better life growing up.”
“That’s for damn fucking sure,” Smoke growls.
Stepping back, she puts her kindle back into her backpack and sets it down on the coffee table. Rubbing her arms, she looks around before lowering her gaze to the ground.
“So,” she starts and then pauses as she licks her lips before filling Odin and Punisher in on what she’d just told Smoke and me about Michael.
Taking a deep breath, she starts to pace.
“Before I tell you what I know about Michael or Bruce or whatever the donkey butt’s name is, you need to know a few other things.”
Tension fills the air when she visibly shudders. I want nothing more than to pull her into my arms to give her support, but I have a sneaky suspicion that it’ll only make her feel trapped. My gaze goes to Smoke. I fucking hope he doesn’t go ballistic because I have a pretty good feeling that whatever she’s about to share; it isn’t going to be good.
“Timber, what I’m about to say will partially explain a question you had the day I came to the club. About why I tried to hide and blend in.”
His face softens and then hardens, but I know it’s not me he’s mad at.
Taking a deep breath as I pace, I lower my gaze to the ground. A part of me still thinks that when they knoweverything, that they’ll not want anything to do with me. My chest hurts at the thought, but I try to ignore it.
Here goes nothing.
“You all know Mom and Preston got married again when I was eight. When I was nine, Preston started his tricks and mind games with Mom, trying to break her in every possible way. It got worse in the months leading up to her accident.
“At the time, I didn’t think he would turn physical, but I was wrong. It was my tenth birthday. And just so you know, this was about a month before her accident. Anyway, like she had done in years past, she got me a small birthday cake. Then we painted our hands and put our handprints on the side of the trailer. That was the first day Preston hit her. Well, that I was aware of, anyway. Even though she tried to hide what he’d done to her, she couldn’t. She walked with a limp and hissed when she had to turn, bend down, or reach up to get something. We never celebrated my birthday since then. Or any other holiday, for that matter.”
I force myself to ignore the growing tension in the room and keep my gaze down. If I look up, I’ll break down.
“That was also when Preston started bringing sketchy people to the trailer. After the first time it happened, Mom told me to always hide in my room as much as possible when he had guests. Preston rarely went into my room at that point, and if he did, he just told me what he wanted me to do from the doorway. All he could see was my bed on the opposite wall, my nightstand, my desk, and part of my dresser. My closet was along the wall of my door, so he wasn’t able to see in it. Though, even if he had seen the closet, he wouldn’t have been able to see inside unless he physically opened it. I almost always kept the doors closed.
“One day, while Preston was gone, Mom closed off one corner in my closet with the same paneling as the closet walls. Then she tucked in a small refrigerator and put in some wire shelves above it. When the ‘door’ was closed, it looked like the jut out in the living room that houses the water heater and furnace. She always kept a few basics stocked in there for me, mostly water, bologna, and string cheese, so I wouldn’t have to leave the room whenever Preston had guests. There was never much in there, but enough to stave off most of my hunger. Especially since I had to ration it out.”
Clearing my throat, I risk a glance up at Smoke on the laptop screen. He seems mostly in control, but I can tell by his eyes that he’s beyond furious. Swallowing, I decide to add this next part just so he knows exactly how bad it was.
“That was how I mostly survived for the next couple of years. I barely had enough food and was always hungry. Eventually, the mice finally chewed through enough of the wires and I had to unplug it to avoid a fire. If it wasn’t for starting to work at Peggy’s diner shortly after my fifteenth birthday and the free school lunches, I probably would have starved. Preston made sure to eat almost all the food Mom would bring home. There was no longer a safe way for us to replace the fridge in my room without Preston noticing, so that option was out as well. Later when it switched to me bringing home the food, he did the same thing and practically devoured everything of worth the same day.”
Smoke’s gaze turns murderous, but for the first time, I know it’s not directed at me. Tearing my gaze from his, I take a deep breath, not wanting to continue, but knowing that I have to. As my thoughts turn to Michael, I can’t stop the shudder that runs through me.
“I first met Michael a few months after Mom’s accident and she was released from the hospital. I don’t exactly remember when, just that it was almost Christmas.” My voice hitches, and I push my memories of the edict of no more holiday celebrations out of my head. Shaking my head, I continue.
“Preston made Mom get me from my room so he could introduce his ‘daughter’ to Michael. The way he looked at me freaked me out big time, even back then. Mom quickly excused us and took me to my room. She told me I needed to keep away from him. That he wasn’t a good man and that he’d hurt me just like he’d hurt her. It was then that her and Preston’s recent fights came back to me. Mom saw who had hit her—Phillip and Michael. I don’t know why they did it, but I wasn’t going to ask. Unfortunately, Michael’s creepiness only got worse with time.
“Since learning about me, Phillip and Michael would come around to our trailer almost every other week. Sometimes every week. Each time, I’d try to hide in my room as much as possible, even though I heard almost everything that happened during their ‘visits’. I know Mom lured their attention from me countless times, but I wasn’t always able to hide, though. The way Michael looked at me always gave me the creeps. X would sometimes be with them, but never more than once or twice a month. The way X looked at me was even creepier than the way Michael did.”
