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Licking my lips, my mind freezes on X. “I don’t remember if I ever described X earlier when we were in Church earlier...” I pause as I bite my lip, trying to find a good comparison. “I’d say he’s about a head or so shorter than Timber. Dark tan skin, maybe of Hispanic descent. Lots of tattoos and one of them is of a snake on his neck. Black hair. Dark brown eyes. Bald. He’s not overweight, but he does have a bit of a stomach. Every time I saw him, he was sharply dressed and always made sure you could see his gold Rolex. He liked to throw his ‘weight’ around so to speak and brag about how easily he’d be able to crush Preston, Michael, and Phillip if they crossed him. They always called him ‘X’ and never by another name.
“The night I lied about my age, all three of them were at the trailer. X and Michael were the most adamant about making me help Mom pay for Preston’s debt. Though Phillip said he also wanted a round with me. Michael grabbed me and said that he’d love to take me off Preston’s hands. To take me up north to one of his cabins, away from prying eyes and ears to have his ‘fun’.
“Then I was pulled from his arms into X’s. He said he’d be the one to take me down to his plantation house in Louisiana, where I’d never want for anything. Then told me how his version of ‘fun’ would be like. When he said that, a bit of his southern accent slipped. I’d noticed it before. Whenever he got mad or tried to sweet talk someone, it’d slip out, but he tried to hide it the rest of the time. Fearing they’d steal me away or that they’d act on what they wanted to do to me, I lied about my age.”
Another violent shudder runs through me at the memories, and I rub my arms as I pace.
“After that night, X made sure to come around more often. Usually, it was whenever Phillip and Michael came around. To try and avoid them, I hid a step ladder under our trailer so that I could climb into my room through the window whenever they were there.
“Anyway, on the times I wasn’t able to hide, Michael and X would always try to be close to me. Touching me in some way – brushing against my arm, touching my hair, things like that. As I got older, it only got worse. They’d,” I pause as I clear my throat, keeping my gaze on the carpet. “They’d try to brush up against me when they walked by me. Not even them believing I was a minor stopped it.
“They usually tried to catch me in the hallway. Sometimes, they’d just push into me more so than they needed to as they passed me, especially if no one was looking. They’d cop a feel as they tried to sweet talk me into doing more with them. Other times...” I pause, swallowing thickly before taking a shaky breath.
“Other times, when they were really wasted and I couldn’t always stay hidden, like when I needed to use the bathroom, were the worst. They’d pin me to the hallway wall, face first, before rubbing themselves against me as they groped me. With the way I was pinned, and the fact that I was never strong due to lack of good consistent food, I was never able to get them off me no matter how much I fought.
“Mom always stopped it before they could take it too far, but sometimes, especially if the others pinned her down to stop her from getting to me, she wasn’t always able to get to me right away. A few times, Michael and X had enough time that they came in their pants as they rubbed themselves against me from behind. They are the reason why I always tried to hide and blend in. I didn’t want them to notice me. To touch me.” A violent shudder runs through me, and I swear I can feel the ghost of their hands and bodies pressing against me, pushing me into the wall as memories wash over me.
“One night, about a month ago, it was particularly bad. Somehow, Michael was able to sneak into my room even though I kept my chair wedged under the doorknob since I no longer had a lock. I woke up to him on top of me, my covers already tossed off me. He... He was trying to pin me down with one hand as the other ripped at my clothes. My elbow connected with his temple as I tried to get free, and it stunned him enough that I got one of my hands free of his. I grabbed the heavy glass lamp on my nightstand and started hitting him on the side of his head repeatedly. Eventually, he collapsed on top of me, knocked out. It was then that I realized he was naked. A second later, he was pulled off me and mom wrapped me up in her arms as I cried.
“Later, she dragged him out of my room before shutting the door behind her. I soon heard her tearing into Preston to either keep his friends under control or they weren’t allowed here anymore. That one of his friends just tried assaulting a minor and she’d call the cops on him if he or any of the others tried to do anything else with me. With the trailer being in her name, not his, that she’d kick him out and get a restraining order against him to protect me.
“She got a beating for talking to him like that in front of his friends, even though she told me they were all passed out drunk. However, her threat worked. No one tried touching me like that or pinning me to the wall since that night. Then again, knowing what I now know, I think they were just biding their time. Still, I was thankful that they all thought I was still a minor. If they knew I was almost twenty-one, I’m sure my fate would have been different.
“One night, about two or three weeks ago, they didn’t know I was home. It was a day where Mom’s car hadn’t wanted to start, so I had to walk into town for work. When I got home, I saw all their cars there and could already hear them from outside the trailer. Instead of going in through the door, I walked around to my small window in my room and used the step ladder to crawl in that way. Though I wish I would have just asked Peggy to crash at her house.
“I could tell by their voices that they were all drunk and judging from Mom’s cries, they were taking their payment from her again. X kept calling Mom a ‘puta’ and that he could do whatever he wanted with her because he owned her. That soon, he’d be taking his payment out on me, too. Him and Michael. They’d take care of Mom once they had me.”
Swallowing thickly, I look up at Timber, then Kai, Ragnar, and finally Smoke.
“I think that was what Mom talked about in her journal. That that was the night Preston agreed to sell me.”
Licking my lips, I continue. “After that night, they came around daily, but not just to the trailer. Sometimes they’d show up at Peggy’s diner or at the grocery store. Thankfully, it was only in the evenings since they thought I was still going to school. I bet if we talk to Peggy, we’d be able to look at her security footage. They put it in three years ago after someone broke the window, trying to rob the place. Then, you’d have a picture to go off of for X rather than just my description.”
My body sags when I’m finally done. My mind and my body numb from reliving all those memories. The ghosts of their hands rubbing against me return, as the memories refuse to be boxed away in my mind.
Timber, taking that as the cue that it is, snags my hand and pulls me down onto his lap and wraps his arms around me. His touch helps cut through the fog.
After a few moments, someone clears their throat and I look up.
“Thank you, Mae. That gives us more info than we previously had. Can you reach out to Peggy for that picture?” Smoke asks.
“Yeah, but I know she’s already in bed since she always opens the diner. Can I ask her in the morning?”
“Of course. Also, Levi wanted me to ask you to invite them this weekend to the wedding. I know I’m not the only one that wants to thank them for what they’ve done for you.”
Tears prick my eyes, so I just nod, not trusting my voice right now.
No one talks for a bit and I just lean against Liam, soaking in his warmth.
I don’t know how much time passes when Smoke clears his throat again. My gaze goes back to the laptop, only to find him staring directly at me.
“Can I, can you guys give me a few minutes? I’d like to talk to my daughter.”
My breath hitches and my body freezes. Did he really just say that? Or am I imagining it?
Timber’s arms tighten around me and he kisses my temple before brushing my hair off my shoulder and placing a kiss on the spot where my neck meets my shoulder.
“I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me, Sunshine,” he whispers into my ear and I nod, refusing to look away from the screen. I’m afraid that if I blink, this will all just be a dream.
