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“Okay. We need to talk.”
Her eyes met mine. She was on guard, but seemed to soften. I hated that she trusted me so easily. “Sure.” Josie stepped aside.
The duck was now perched on its dog bed once again, watching TV. I lifted my chin, gesturing that way. “You found him.”
She smiled. “Her. And she found me. The other morning she just showed up at my front door.”
I stuffed my hands into my pockets and nodded. “That’s good.”
There was a moment of awkward silence. It broke when we started to talk at the same time.
We exchanged hesitant smiles. “You go first,” I said.
“No, you. Please.”
I nodded and cleared my throat. “I’m sorry about the other day. Disappearing and all. I shouldn’t have done that.”
Her face softened. “It’s okay. I spoke to Porter, and he filled in the blanks. I know about the lake…about Evie.”
My jaw tightened.
Josie took my hand. “It must’ve been so hard on you when it happened. I’m sure you’ve been keeping a lot in for a long time. But I want you to know, I’m here if you want to talk about it. I was never a person who discussed my feelings either, but sometimes it really helps.”
Fuck. I should’ve had those shots before I came over. Here I was ready to rip her heart out, and she was trying to console me. I felt like the biggest piece of shit on the planet. But I needed to rip the Band-Aid off, even if it stung.
“Josie, listen…I think you should go back to New York.”
She blinked a few times. “You mean to stay?”
I nodded.
“By myself?”
I nodded again.
Her hand had been resting on my arm, but she pulled it back like she’d just realized she was touching a hot stove. “You’re serious right now?”
“I should’ve never let things go as far as they did. It’s not what I want.” The last few words tasted bitter, even as I said them. Probably because they were made ofshit. I fucking wanted her. Yet I shook my head. “I’m sorry.”
Her voice rose. “You’resorry?”
“Look, Josie, you have every right to be upset. I—”
She cut me off. “Of course I have every right to be upset! I came here to heal, to find myself again. I wasn’t ready to start something new. When you pulled back after the weekend we went away, I was sad, but I figured it was for the best. I didn’t want to get even more attached if it wasn’t what you wanted. But then you sucked me back in. I trusted you.”
“I know.” I raked a hand through my hair. “I fucked up. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let things go so far.”
Her eyes flitted around, like she was trying to absorb everything I’d just said and make sense of it. But it didn’t even make sense to me, and the words had come out of my mouth. Eventually her gaze met mine again. “Why?” she chirped.
“Why what?”
“Why isn’t what we have what you want? What about it don’t you like? What’s wrong with us? Or better yet, tell me what youdowant.”
“I…I like not being tied down.”
Josie kept shaking her head. “Ridiculous.”
“I’ll finish whatever you need done in the house.”
