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1
My grandmother used to say, “Bad things happen in threes.”
I wouldn’t call myself overly superstitious, but I found that advice to be true when three very bad things happened to me in rapid succession.
First, my parents decided to retire to Florida and join a commune filled with naked old people, leaving me, their only child, behind in California while they rediscovered their youth and spent my inheritance.
Second, my boss handed the promotion I’d been working my ass off for to the most horrible person next to Hitler because I wasn’t “aggressive enough” in the boardroom when pitching ideas to clients.
And third, on the day of my thirtieth birthday, I discovered my boyfriend of five years with the 19-year-old barista from my favorite coffee house, tangled up in the bamboo sheets I painstakingly picked out in the bed I bought with my first bonus.
Yep. Bad things came in threes.
Which is how I ended up here, in my best friend’s spare bedroom, surrounded by the boxes that contained my life, wondering how I’d gotten things so wrong when I thought I’d been doing everything right.
“Birdie, he was never good enough for you anyway,” Jaymee said, plopping down beside me amongst the cardboard forest and leaning against my shoulder in solidarity. “You can stay as long as you need to get back on your feet. Don’t worry about a thing. We got your back, although you should’ve kicked him out instead of the other way around.”
“There was no way I could stay there after seeing what I saw. I need bleach for my brain already. Living there would’ve been impossible.”
“Yeah, but you walked away from pretty much everything,” Jaymee protested on my behalf. “That jerk face doesn’t deserve the nice things you left behind. What he deserves is a swift kick in the nuts and then a raging case of herpes.”
I chuckled as I wiped a solitary tear away, agreeing. “I’d be down for some instant karma payback right about now.”
I might’ve been rash in my decision to walk away from everything in our apartment, but I couldn’t bring myself to touch a single thing that Roger had touched. When my heart wasn’t breaking from the betrayal, I wanted to scrub my skin with acid because I couldn’t believe I’d let him inside my body.
But the sad truth was that I’d been hoping for a marriage proposal. Each year I’d thought we were getting closer to the inevitable conclusion of a long-term relationship. Instead of a ring on my finger, I’d gotten a broken, disillusioned heart and a whole lot of trust issues.
“I wish I knew what’d gone wrong,” I said mournfully. “I was a good girlfriend. At least, I thought I was.”
“Of course you were. Better than he deserved,” Jaymee agreed. “He was a prick and a player. Don’t waste any more time on that jackass.”
“That’s easy for you to say, you’re blissfully happy with Phillip.” And she had every right to be. Phillip was the kind of guy that made commitment look easy. He adored Jaymee and worshipped the ground she walked on without somehow being a total push-over. He was also hot as fuck and had a terrific personality. I wasn’t even sure he was human. “And I hate that I’m third-wheeling with you guys. I promise I’ll figure something out as soon as I can.”
“Stop, you’re family. Besides, I like having you around as a roommate. It’ll be like college again — except without all the alcohol and questionable food choices at 3 a.m..”
I groaned in memory. “How did we graduate? I’m not even sure I should’ve been given a degree for as little as I remember of those days.”
Jaymee laughed. “Hey, no take-backs. We’re college-educated women, and we have a slip of paper to prove it. Besides, you’re too hard on yourself. You were always a good student, even when I was trying to convince you to cut loose a little.”
I chewed my bottom lip. Jaymee had always been better at letting the wind decide her fate for the day, whereas I’d been neurotically OCD about schedules, getting good grades, and sticking to the plan.
Ha! The plan.
What a joke. “You know, I’ve spent most of my life thinking that a good plan was the key to success when I’ve watched you pretty much succeed without so much as deciding what kind of cereal you want to eat in the morning. Clearly, I’m not the one doing anything right.”
“Please stop beating yourself up. You’re my favorite person, aside from Phillip, and it kills me to see you like this over someone like Roger.”
The way her lip curled when she said his name made me chuckle even though I felt like bawling from the sheer and utter failure of my life. “How’d I get that so wrong? Was I blind? How’d I miss something so blatant?”
“Love is blind, sweetie,” Jaymee said, gently bumping me with her shoulder. “And sometimes we run smack into something we should’ve run over with our car.”
I laughed. “Full-on manslaughter?”
Jaymee shrugged. “Accidents happen.”
My eyes welled up. “What would I do without you? Aside from ending back in my parents’ place…in Florida…surrounded by naked hippies.” I grimaced. “Anything but that.”
“Good God, I love your parents, but they are weird as shit.” Couldn’t argue that. A beat of silence passed between us before she said, “You know, no one can tell you something you had to figure out on your own. Yeah, I never liked Roger, but I tried for your sake. I mean, you seemed to be into him, and that’s what best friends do…they put up with bad decisions until the other person figures it out and then, they help remind that person how amazing they are.”
