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“I don’t feel amazing,” I admitted mournfully. “I feel like an idiot. Like I should’ve seen what was right in front of me. Now I’m questioning everything. Every memory. Every time he practically tripped on himself to make the coffee run. Every time he said he had to work late. And I bought it. I mean, how stupid am I?”
I buried my face in my arms and cried. Wave after wave of pain and anguish washed over me as I sobbed beside Jaymee. I was humiliated by the betrayal, lost in my agony. I pictured everyone laughing at my stupidity for trusting someone like Roger with my heart.
I should’ve known. I should’ve walked away the minute Roger started flirting with me all those years ago, but those blue eyes had caught me, and I drowned in the false adoration.
It was all there for me to see if I’d had my eyes open.
When I first met Roger right after graduation, our connection had been instant, but I’d heard he had a girlfriend. Of course, I’d asked him, but he’d told me it was over. I didn’t look any deeper.
Except, it hadn’t been over, not for her, anyway.
I found myself in the middle of an awkward fight at his apartment between Roger and what he claimed was his ex. I wanted to fall through the floor.
I’d never been that girl, the kind that poached another girl’s territory, but it sure hadn’t looked that way from her perspective. In hindsight, I get it. But then? I let him justify his shitty actions, and I became his girlfriend.
The past was the past, right? That’s what I told myself.
But what I should’ve told myself was, if he’ll do it to her, he’ll do it to you.
Because no one was special to a serial cheater.
People were disposable. Hearts were collateral damage.
I wouldn’t say Roger was a sociopath, but he’d certainly lacked empathy for anyone but himself.
“You’ll meet someone else, someone better,” Jaymee promised, breaking into my thoughts.
“I don’t want to meet anyone. I think I’m done dating.”
“You’re only thirty. You can’t be done dating,” Jaymee reminded me with a small laugh. “Besides, we’re supposed to have babies together and do ridiculous basic white girl stuff like double baby showers with coordinating themes.”
“I never agreed to that,” I laughed, wiping at my face. “Besides, I think by the time I’m willing even to start thinking about dating, my eggs will be way past their expiration date. Save yourself, go, procreate without me.”
“Never. It’s happening.”
Phillip walked in at that moment. “What’s happening?”
I shook my head, but Jaymee answered, “Matching baby showers with coordinating themes.”
Phillip’s brow rose. “Is there something I should know?”
“Not at the moment,” Jaymee returned with a sweet smile.
I looked up at Phillip, saying, “You should run away now. She’s not right in the head.”
Jaymee fake whispered out of the corner of her mouth, “He already knows that, but he’s addicted to this sweet ass.”
I groaned, covering my ears. “Oh God, thank you for reminding me that I need to invest in really good noise-canceling headphones.”
I was going to die a spinster, my vagina was going to close up, and I was going to be forced to listen to my best friend as she’s toes up to Jesus in the other room. “Ughhhhh, kill me now.”
Phillip leaned against the door jamb. “Is now a bad time to ask how she feels about being our third?”
My head whipped up in instant alarm until I saw his wide-ass grin, and I knew he was kidding. “Never, ever,” I growled.
Jaymee giggled, teasing me. “We could be sister wives!”
I couldn’t imagine a worse disaster, but Phillip waggling his eyebrows at me like the caricature of a smarmy lech was enough to coax a smile from my lips. That’s all the encouragement he needed. Suddenly, Phillip had levered himself to the floor beside me, and I was wrapped in a platonic hug from both of them.
