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Avery
“It’s going to be okay.Right guys?”
That’s what I asked Kellan, Fallon, and Luke when I first broke the news of my unexpected pregnancy a few days ago.
They were surprised and somewhat pale-faced for the better part of a minute, which had me worried. But then all three broke out in huge smiles before hugging and kissing me. They said they were happy and eager for us to build a family together, and I wanted to believe them.
I still do.
Yet I’m not sure if it really is going to be okay. Maybe I was lying to them and trying to appease myself when I said those words. I still mutter them every once in a while to the woman in the mirror—if only to reassure her.
I never meant for any of this to happen.
I never expected to find myself stranded on the side of a road, in the middle of a Nebraskan snowstorm, with two daughters intow while running away from my abusive ex-husband. I never expected to find refuge in the arms of three handsome ex-Navy SEALs.
They sheltered and safeguarded us, even to the extent that they had to see to it that my ex-husband, Daniel, was no longer in the picture.
Scoring a positive on a pregnancy test a couple of weeks ago wasn’t in the books, either.
Love has a funny way of showing up when it’s least expected, though I’m not sure love is going to be enough. The shift in Kellan, Fallon, and Luke’s behavior since they learned about the baby has been undeniable. I’ve been seeing less and less of them—they always seem to be busy or traveling or stuck in the meeting rooms of the mansion’s east wing. Even Annie and Miley have started asking about them, saying how much they miss them and the amount of time we used to spend together.
I’ve been resisting pressing my flight-or-fight instinct button, but I don’t feel like I have a choice anymore. My head is a blur, my heart is in turmoil. I am restless, and fearful of losing the stability I thought I’d managed to build here in this wonderful place.
I’ve decided to pack a bag for the girls and me—just the essentials until I find a rental apartment for the three of us—and to leave the mansion behind. It's a hasty choice, driven by my mind's need to take control of the situation, since my soul is torn and hopelessly in love with these men.
“Come on, Avery, you don’t have to go,” Helen says as I carry my suitcase down the hallway toward the stairs. “Do the boys know?”
“No, they don’t know,” I reply. “I have tried talking to them about it, but they keep giving me the busy card—a meeting here, a drug bust there, a car to tow somewhere else—and another day passes that I am unable to address my concern with their recent change in behavior. Let’s be honest, Helen, it’s not something to be discussed over the phone, is it?”
She gives me a sad look. “No, it’s not. But honey, this is abrupt and a little bit extreme, too. You’re pregnant.”
“I don’t feel welcome here anymore.” I sigh deeply, my hands shaking as I build up the courage to carry the suitcase downstairs.
“Avery, they’re just busy, especially after that whole incident with Daniel. It took a toll on them, too, you know. You need to be a little more patient with them.”
“They can tell me all of this themselves,” I say, and I know that deep down she’s right. But my fears are far too strong and deep-rooted, my desire to protect myself and the girls from further heartache and disappointment having a strong hold on my judgment. “If they want me to stay, they could at least find the time to tell me.”
“This is wrong,” she shakes her head slowly, the dismay evident in her otherwise soft voice. “Avery, you’re not using your head.”
“Oh, but I am. It’s my head that I’m actually using for the first time since I got here. Helen, I’ve got a good gig going with the interior decorating, and I make enough money to support myself and the girls. I was never supposed to stay here forever, no matter what our feelings were in the aftermath of what happened with Daniel.”
That dreaded day when my worst fears came true. My ex-husband snatched my girls out of their school, killing two Wolfhound Security agents in the process. Then he abducted me, holding all three of us hostage in a remote cabin. If Kellan, Fallon, and Luke hadn’t stepped in he would have surely killed me and most likely himself, leaving our girls locked in a room alone and terrified.
They saved us. Luke had no choice but to do the unthinkable. But none of that weighs as much as it should if I feel like I can’t trust them going forward, if I don’t get the reassurance I so desperately need in order to stay in the mansion. I don’t want to live lonely in an occupied house, waiting for morsels of their time and attention.
“Please, Avery, at least wait until they get back tonight,” Helen tries to plead with me again.
I give her a long look, fully aware of the love she has for Kellan and Fallon in particular. She’s their aunt, after all, and she’s been more of a mother and a parent to them than their actual parents ever were. Elizabeth and William Cassidy chose their dirty business practices and fattening their family fortune over their sons a long time ago. They’re also responsible for the financial ruin that ultimately killed Helen’s husband and left her a destitute widow. She’s been by the boys’ side ever since, and I can’t blame her for speaking in their favor. To be fair, I’m not so sure that I’m doing the right thing—the more she speaks, the more confused I get. The weight of the suitcase feels heavier than it did five minutes ago.
“If I don’t do this now, I’ll keep hanging around and finding excuses to try again tomorrow,” I tell her. “I have to go. I won’t be a desperate woman begging for attention they don’t have to give.”
Yet as soon as I reach the ground floor and brace myself to leave, the front door opens. Kellan, Fallon, and Luke come in, leaving me breathless and wordless as I try to find the courage to walk out the door.
“Helen called us,” Kellan says upon noticing my confusion.
I give Helen a sour look and she responds with a shrug. “What was I supposed to do, honey? I’ve been trying to talk you out of it since this morning but clearly it didn’t work. You left me no choice,” she says.
