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But let’s take our problems out one at a time. Mom and Dad will still be here when we’re done with Charlene or whoever it is behind these attacks.”
“One problem at a time,” I echo his words, my mind slowly drifting back into the cold and dark arms of the past. I always feel so ambiguous after I see my parents. It’s so damn uncomfortable.
My stomach feels heavy, and so does my heart. We were kids. We deserved better. And that is something our parents will never be able to fix or undo. The damage they did is everlasting, but we’ve grown better and stronger despite their abuse, despite their toxic manipulation tactics and narcissism. And we’ve started building a better and stronger family of our own. A family that we will go to the ends of the earth in order to protect.
I will burn everything down. Every fucking bridge. Every fucking person that stands in our way. There’s not a single doubt in my mind about it. And there isn’t a single doubt in Kellan or Luke’s minds, either. We’re on the same page. Avery, the girls, and our unborn child must be protected at all costs. Whoever came after us will more than likely try to get to them, too.
But they’ll have to go through me first.
21
Avery
Seeing Kellan in that hospital bed did one hell of a number on me. There are things happening around us, things that the guys are doing their damned best not to tell me about. I don’t like the secrecy, but I think I finally understand why they’re so keen to protect me by keeping me in the dark. Just knowing that somebody wanted Kellan hurt or worse is enough to have me living every day on a razor-sharp edge. My existence would be easier if I didn’t know. I guess ignorance really is bliss.
But the downside to ignorance is not seeing the trouble when it’s headed my way. It’s better to be aware, prepared, and understandably scared than completely unaware and unprepared when tragedy inevitably strikes.
With that in mind, I let my men handle their affairs and the ensuing investigation into Kellan’s assault. All I can do is focus on my life, my work, and most importantly, the two wonderful little girls I’m raising. Besides, I’ve got a third bundle of joy on the way. There simply isn’t enough bandwidth in my brain to deal with everything that is going on. Armed with patience and deep breaths, I leave the house and get behind the wheel,checking the time on my phone.
It'll be another twenty minutes before Annie and Miley get out of school, so I take the longer route through Hershey in order to get there. Yet there’s still this constant, nagging feeling that I’m being followed, so I consistently check the rearview mirror. Before long, two cars behind me, I see it. That same dark green sedan. A few more turns, and I look again. Still there.
“Who the hell are you?” I whisper. Given what happened to Kellan, I can’t help but make unpleasant connections. What if this green sedan is linked to the attack at that stash house? What if there’s some sort of conspiracy unraveling against us? What if I’m simply losing my mind?
It’s shameless to hound somebody like this. But then again, it could just be a coincidence. It could be another Hershey resident and I have no proof that it isn’t. Shaking the thoughts away, I decide to be careful nonetheless, so I give Helen a call and ask her to meet me outside the school.
I pull up and check the rearview mirror again. The sedan isn’t there anymore. Either I lost them or they simply went on with their day, paying no mind to a raving lunatic like me.
“You’re lucky I was just down the road, running some errands,” Helen quips upon seeing me.
I give her a long, tight hug, and try to think of a way to make myself appear less rattled while I figure out another way to prove one or more of my theories wrong. “I need a favor,” I tell her. “Can you take the girls out for ice cream and have them stay with you at the house for the night? I’ll pay double for the night hours.”
“Honey, is everything okay?” Helen asks, visibly worried as she carefully analyzes my face.
“Yes. Yes, I promise. I just need some time to myself, and you’re the only one I trust with Annie and Miley. I need to clear my head, think things through.”
“Are you sure, Avery?”
“Yes. Just for the night, and I’ll be by in the morning to pick them up. They have an overnight bag always ready in the trunk of my car, I’ll give it to you.”
She nods slowly. “Okay. Leave them with me, no problem at all. I’m always happy to spend time with those two firecrackers, anyway.”
“Thank you, Helen. I’ll buy you a Greek dinner at Niko’s Tavern when I get a bigger paycheck,” I reply, laughing lightly.
“Don’t worry about that, Avery. Do your thing, clear your head, and please patch things up with the boys. They are utterly miserable without you at the house.” Helen sighs deeply, and I can only respond by lowering my gaze for a long second. I know they’re miserable, as am I. But I made a decision and I need to enforce it, otherwise I lose respect for myself.
“We will figure things out,” I tell her. “We’re just going through a phase, working on some issues, as you already know. But we will find our way back to each other.”
“I sure hope so. What the four of you have is unique, I’ll say that much.”
“I got lucky, yes,” I reply. “But they also need to understand that I have boundaries. Boundaries I can never let anyone cross again. They need to trust me enough to tell me certain things,and I need to know that I can trust them to be fully honest with me. I’ve already lived with a lying narcissist, Helen. I can’t go through those motions again.”
“Oh, honey, believe me, I get it,” Helen reaches out and hugs me tightly for a long, sweet moment. I welcome the embrace and the affection that comes with it.
Once I make sure she has my girls in tow along with their overnight bag, I kiss the three of them goodbye and go on another drive around town to clear my head—and to see if that green sedan shows up again.
But my ride through Hershey is lonesome and quiet. There’s a little bit of traffic as people are coming from their jobs and kids are getting out of school. The streets are narrow and congested, yet I don’t spot the sedan anywhere. Content that I may have simply overthought the situation again, I head back home with Kellan, Fallon, and Luke swirling through my mind.
It’s strange that we don’t live together anymore. It only took a few months for me to become so hopelessly addicted to them. Only a few months for my heart and my body to become irreversibly bonded to theirs. Even with their nightly visits, I still feel like a baby bird that has just fallen out of the nest, bare and lonely out on the sidewalk. I get out of my car and my body involuntarily freezes for a second.
