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Ash is silent, and the moment stretches between us. I don’t know what I’m waiting for her to say. If I want her to absolve me of my sins or tell me to reject the path I’m on or reassure me that I’m doing okay.
“I never knew Michael,” she says slowly. “But I know you. And if Michael were alive today and he wasn’t proud of the man you’ve become, then his opinion wouldn’t be worth having.”
Would he be proud? I have no idea. It always felt like a shifting goalpost, moving out of reach every time I got close.
Ashley climbs on top of me, leaning down so her lips brush mine. “Take it from the villain: you’re the good guy, even if you have some nuance.”
“You’re no villain,” I say as she kisses me. “You just like to pretend.”
Chapter twenty-three
Ashley
“Goodnews!”myagentNeve chirps on the phone. “I’ve got something for you.”
I freeze, my hand cupping a silky red rose from the bouquet Gabe sent after our canceled date—or had David send, judging by the formal brevity of the card. If I hadn’t gotten what I wanted last night, I might be a bit pissed at getting flowers from his assistant, but they’re big and beautiful and I left Gabe’s house this morning with a smile on my face.
“What is it?” I ask Neve. I don’t want to get my hopes up, but I need this to be something good.
“It’sLove on the Line Redemption,“ she says brightly. “They’re bringing back the notorious contestants, and you’re in.”
I bring the rose closer and inhale the sweet smell and try to temper my disappointment. “I’ll pass.”
“Are you sure?” She doesn’t sound cheerful now. She sounds exhausted. “Contractually, you fulfilled your obligations. You don’t have to take this, but there’s nothing else.”
“Maybe in another couple of months—”
“It was a long shot, putting you with Gabriel Sinclair, but I think the only way to ride on his coattails would be for him to put a ring on it and get you a job using his influence.”
Shit. It’s not a surprise though, now that I think about it.
“The endorsement deal with the fashion brand fell through. Your social media has been in a slump sinceLove on the Line. Maybe if you pick it back up, we can secure something…”
I’d been moderately successful as a social media influencer, but afterLove on the Line, the usual trickle of hate turned into a flood. The gig lost all appeal.
“Are you sure you won’t considerLove on the Line?“ she asks after a moment of silence. “They want you pretty bad. I could negotiate for higher pay.”
The pay sucked the first time and won’t be much better a second time, and we both know it. “I’m not doing it.”
“Okay,” Neve says, sounding disappointed. “Call me if you change your mind.”
I won’t change my mind. I don’t want to be everyone’s villain anymore, and if I go back toLove on the Line, I’ll have to be.
A knock sounds at my door, and I know it’s not Gabe—he’s still at work—but I still hope. And I’m disappointed.
“There’s a dude in a gray car with a camera sitting across the street,” Lea says when I let her inside.
I glance out the door, and sure enough, they’ve found me. He’ll be here hoping to get a glimpse of Gabe.
Locking the door behind me, I lead Lea up to the kitchen.
“What have you been up to?” I ask, busying myself with making us coffees while she rifles through her messenger bag at the table.
She pauses so long that I stop what I’m doing and turn to look at her. She’s staring at me, her expression flat. “You’re kidding, right?”
Shit—what have I forgotten? Not her birthday, which was in March. “Uh, no. Haven’t seen you or heard from you in a while.”
“I was on the research tripyousent me on.”
