AllFreeNovel
Share Us
CHARON
I should stop. It was never supposed to get this far. My feelings for this woman have been complicated since the first time I saw her, left sobbing and bloody on the wrong side of the River Styx, a lure Hades couldn’t resist. She was the weapon the last Zeus used, to start what could have become a war that claimed the people I care most about in this world. For that reason alone, I should have hated her.
Growing up in the lower city, you learn quickly that people from the upper city aren’t to be trusted. Their values are not our values, and the entire history of Olympus is proof that when push comes to shove, those in the lower city are the first to be offered up as collateral damage. At first glance, she was exactly like the rest of them, dressed to the nines and playing games that would get other people killed.
But all it took was one conversation for me to make my peace with the fact that no one could hate Eurydice. It’s not just that she’s beautiful, though she is. She’s tall and lean to the point of beingdelicate, with long wavy dark hair, big dark eyes, and smooth light-brown skin. But it’s more than that. Her beauty goes soul deep. I didn’t intend to set myself up as her personal protector, as her confidant, as her…friend. It just happened. I value her friendship.
How I’m touching her right now is not friendly in the least.
Even as I tell myself to let her go, to step back and put the careful distance between us that I always maintain, I…don’t. I can’t when her words are ricocheting around inside my skull.
Unless you plan on fucking me, get out of my way.
I haven’t stopped to think from the moment I got the text from Hypnos informing me that Eurydice had arrived at the club without me—a clear violation of our agreement. Even as I came down here, taking the route through the big house owned by Hades and Persephone, I had half convinced myself that she just wandered in out of curiosity. She’s a curious woman, and if she’s been more tentative expressing it in the past, it was a good thing that she was taking this step on her own without me as her security blanket. Even if Ilikebeing that security blanket.
Then I saw her with Thanatos.
Saw him kiss her. Saw him stroke her breast with the backs of his fingers. Saw the intention written in every line of their bodies.
That was my cue to turn around and leave. I might have become Eurydice’s unofficial protector, but she’s an adult, and like she said, she’s more than capable of choosing her own bedmates. When it comes to that sort of thing, Thanatos isn’t a bad candidate. He’s kind and thoughtful, and he loves to spoil his partners. He wouldn’t hurt her or scare her. He’s a solid choice to rebound from that mess with Orpheus.
I know that. But it was like some demon took over my body.I didn’t make a choice to interrupt them. Just like I didn’t make a choice to pin her against my chest like this. It just…happened.
Now is the time to retreat, to make our individual excuses and let this moment, pregnant with the possibility of changing things between us forever, go.
I don’t.
Instead, I wait for her answer.
Eurydice is so tense, she’s practically a statue in my arms. Just when reason has kicked in enough to tell me to release her, she relaxes against me. It feels so good to have her in my arms, to be holding her, that my brain actually shorts out. I can’t move. I can barely breathe. I want this and I don’t, and my shit is so twisted up that I don’t know what I’m doing.
“We can’t do this.” Her voice is barely loud enough to be heard above the music, but I’m so attuned to her right now, I’d bet she could whisper and I’d still pick up the words.
She’s right. It’s a mistake. I care about this woman too much to fuck this up, and releasing the permanent choke hold I keep on my desirewillruin things. She’s stronger than anyone gives her credit for, but that doesn’t mean I won’t crush her by accident. I’ve been very careful to keep myself leashed.
Until now.
“That’s your choice.” I barely speak loud enough to be heard over the throbbing music. “It’s always been your choice.”
She shudders out a breath. “I care about you, Charon. I don’t want things to change, but just because we are…friends…doesn’t mean you get to tell me what to do. Even if we were more, you still don’t get to make those choices for me.”
I know she’s right, but that doesn’t stop me going tense at her words. It doesn’t stop my response from ripping free. “If we were more, you wouldn’t be trying to ride someone else’s cock without talking to me first.”
She turns, and I loosen my hold on her just enough to allow it. I don’t release her though. I don’t think I’m capable of it right now.
Eurydice stares into my eyes. Her brows draw together. “That seems to imply you wouldn’t mind me fucking other people as long as we discussed it first.”
I’ve had plenty of nontraditional relationships in the past. I figure as long as everyone is on the same page and consenting, that’s all that matters. That looks a little different with each relationship.
With her?
I cup her hips. Part of me can barely believe I’m touching her like this. Talking about this. “Getting ahead of yourself. You haven’t fucked me yet, and you’re already talking about fucking others.”
Her gaze drops to my lips. “You’ve become one of my best friends, and I won’t pretend that I don’t want you. But…that’s all I can offer you. Sex. I don’t have it in me to give anything else.”
Gods, she has no idea how much I want her in my bed. If I cared about her any less, I wouldn’t hesitate. That’s the problem though. I’m trapped between what I want and what she needs. “I care about you too much. It would never just be sex with us.”
“I know.” She smiles, and the misery in the expression breaks my fucking heart. I need to release her right now, but I can’t quite make myself break this moment. Not when it’s looking like it will be both first and last. She presses her hands to my chest. “I care about you too. But…”
