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I don’t want to say his fucking name, don’t want to bring another person into this conversation, but the truth is that the shadow ofhimfollows her around like some damned curse. “Orpheus.”
She nods, her dark eyes sad. “Orpheus. I know it’s pathetic and cliché, but the way things ended has prevented any kind of closure. I don’t particularly want to go to the upper city and force a conversation, because I don’t think that’s fair either, but my heart is more than bruised, Charon. You deserve someone whole and healthy.”
I can’t decide if I’m proud of her or want to put her over my knee. “You want a clear explanation of intentions? Very well.” I slide my hands down to cup her ass and pull her even tighter against me. “I’ve done right by you, Eurydice. I’ve given you space to figure your shit out and start to heal. I haven’t pressured you, and I’ve done my damnedest to keep my attraction to you hidden.”
She blinks. “But?”
“But you threw this gauntlet at my feet, and nowyouhave a choice. You don’t get to decide what I deserve. I’m the only one who can do that. I’m not expecting you to be without scars, baby. No one is. But I’m offering you all of me. Heart. Body. Soul. You said you care about me. Let’s give this a shot.” I shouldn’t have let the pet name slip, but I’m laying it all out on the table right now. No reason to hold back.
She tenses. “Charon, that’s too much. That’s not fair. You’re asking for everything.”
“It’s doesn’t have to be everything.” It kills me to say it. I never thought she’d give me any indication that she might want me as much as I want her. Now, she’s done it and we’re teetering on the edge of ruin. Fuck that. If I have to smother every bit of my attractionto her in order to keep her in my life, I’ll do it. I take a deep breath and tell myself to let her go. I can’t quite make my hands obey. “If you don’t want me like that, then this won’t happen again. I’ll go back to being your safe friend.”
“My safe friend,” she echoes. “Just like that. You’ll stand back and let me fuck other people.”
It’ll kill me to do it. “If that’s what it takes.” I realize I still have my hands full of her ass, but I can’t quite make myself let go. This might be the last chance I get to touch her like this. “Take the leap with me, baby. We can figure things out on our way down. We already have a strong-as-shit foundation of caring and mutual respect. I love you.” I’m making a mistake. This is too much, too fast.
But I still don’t take the words back.
Eurydice opens her mouth but pauses. She takes a deep breath and releases my neck. It requires everything I have to let go of her. The small step she takes away from me feels like a part of my body being shredded.
I know what she’s going to say before she shakes her head slowly. “I’m sorry, Charon. I can’t.”
Loss threatens to take me out at the knees, but I somehow manage to stay standing. “I understand.”
“No, I don’t think you do. I love you too.” She lifts her hands like she’ll touch me again but stops before she makes contact. “But Ican’tbe with you like you need—like you deserve. I’m not capable of it.”
I don’t want to get what she’s saying. It would be so much simpler if I didn’t. But I know this woman. After a year, I won’t pretendshe doesn’t have the capacity to surprise me—tonight is more than proof of that—but I understand her. There’s only one thing that would put that look on her face. Or, more accurately, one person. I curse. “Orpheus. Still.”
Her eyes shine in the low light of the club. “I’m sorry,” she says again. “I know it’s been long enough to be pathetic, but things still feel…unresolved. It’s not fair to move on to something serious with you with that still hanging over my head. If I still haven’t shaken it after nine months, I don’t know if I ever will.”
I don’t ask her what she needs for closure with her ex. I don’t ask her how long she needs. I don’t ask anything at all.
I’ve loved Eurydice for a long time now. I can admit that to myself even if I can’t speak it aloud to anyone else. I’ve waited this long. If I have to wait forever, then that’s what I’ll do. “Okay.”
She looks absolutely sick. “If I could just talk to him—”
“No.” I don’t mean to bark the word, but I also don’t take it back. “You are not crossing the River Styx. No one in the lower city is. Directive from Hades and Persephone.”
Her nostrils flare. “My sister and brother-in-law do not ruleme.”
“You’re in the lower city, so that’s exactly what they do.” She still looks stubborn, so I allow myself to lean in and speak directly into her ear. I don’t touch her again, no matter how much I want to. “You know what’s going on over there. It’s not safe.”
It hasn’t been for weeks, ever since the citizens of Olympus learned of the little-known clause that says assassinating one of the Thirteen—the ruling body of Olympus—is a way to jump the line of succession.
Normally, those positions change once every few decades whenthe current person in power retires or dies. Nine times out of ten, their successor is pulled from one of the legacy families. Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades pass to their eldest child. Those in power stay in power and the rest of the city has no chance to change that.
Until now.
The chaos is only growing with each assassination attempt. There have been dozens in the last month, and their frequency only seems to be increasing. That’s a problem in and of itself, because instability in the city grows in direct proportion. People don’t care that they aren’t following the proper protocol to actually take the title of the person they’ve killed. It’s chaos.
Earlier today, someone sank a knife into Poseidon. He survived, but at the same time, someone broke into Triton’s house and murdered him. He doesn’t even hold a title. He might be nearly as rich as the members of the Thirteen, but that’s only because he’s Poseidon’s cousin and his bloodline allows him to ferry people back and forth across the boundary that surrounds the city. There was no gain to be had from his death. That didn’t stop someone from killing him in cold blood.
If family members aren’t safe, then Eurydice is in danger on multiple fronts.
Her mother is Demeter. Her eldest sister is Hera. Her other sister Persephone is married to Hades…
It’s entirely possible that some fool with more rage and ambition than sense will try to hurt her if she ventures into the upper city. At least our citizens in the lower city haven’t lost their damn minds. She’s safe here. “If you need to talk to him, he can come to the lower city.”
