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“Yeah, right. As if that would ever happen.” She turns and walks away.
I watch her go like the fool I am. I can’t take the feeling that I’m about to ruin things between us forever. If she needs to see Orpheus to get closure, then I’ll make that happen for her. Even if she still has feelings for Orpheus after all this time, even if seeing him again will surely reignite those feelings. Unfortunately, it’s clear that she can’t move on without seeing him, so that’s a risk we’re all going to have to take together.
I just hope it’s not a mistake.
3
ORPHEUS
The thing no one ever tells you about paying penance…
It’s impossible to do if those you hurt won’t talk to you.
“Let it go, Orpheus.” My brother sounds as exhausted as he looks. There are circles beneath his eyes, courtesy of too many sleepless nights trying to hold Olympus together. It’s not working. All anyone’s talking about these days are the power shifts and the attacks on the Thirteen. I’m not as plugged in as I used to be, but even I can’t miss how bad things have gotten. A lot of people think it started with the stranger from outside the city, Minos, becoming a citizen, or even with Helen Kasios winning the Ares title, but it’s not the truth.
Olympus has been bad for a really long time. I just never bothered to notice until it affected me. Another sin to lay at my feet. I’m trying to do better, but when everyone I’ve ever surrounded myself with values the same shit I used to, it’s hard to get perspective.
Everyone except my brother. He might be Apollo, one of the Thirteen, but he’s not like the rest. He’s a genuinely good person.
Concern lances through me. “Are you okay? Has anyone—”
“No.” He shakes his head sharply. “I’ve taken Ares upon her offer of added security, and her people have more than lived up to their reputation.”
That hasn’t stopped our mother from worrying, but then one of her favorite hobbies these days is to worry about her boys. It doesn’t matter that we’re both adults. We’ll always be her boys. It doesn’t help that I’ve given her plenty to worry about over the last year. It’s a fucked-up journey to go from being convinced I’m immortal and untouchable and as close to a god as walks the earth, to…
Whatever this torment is.
All the things that used to bring me joy make me want to throw something. I haven’t painted in nearly a year. The company of others grates on my nerves. Not that anyone is seeking my company these days. Once you stop being the life of the party, you find out who your real friends are. I have none.
But my brother doesn’t want to hear about my petty problems. I drag in a breath and try to set it aside. “Have you made any progress?”
“Orpheus, asking about someone other than himself? Will wonders never cease?” My brother’s girlfriend walks into the room. Cassandra is a plus-sized white woman with red hair that draws the eye. I hadn’t realized my brother had a thing for her when I hit on her all those months ago. I wish I could say it would have made a difference, but I was in a dark place at the time. I’d like to think I wouldn’t have done it though.
“Cassandra.” There isn’t much censor in Apollo’s voice. He knows my selfishness better than anyone. If it wasn’t for himstepping in and giving me a much-needed reality check, I don’t know where I’d be now.
“I only speak the truth.” She bends down to give him a kiss on his cheek and shoots me a look. “You look like shit.”
“Cassandra.” Apollo’s tone still isn’t sharp, but it’s not happy. “Please.”
“Sorry.” She doesn’t even try to sound like she means it, and against all reason it makes me like her better. This is a woman who always says what she means, and fuck anyone who expects anything else. I admire that about her. I wish I cared less. Something else I’m working on.
“Things are as bad as they seem on the news.” Apollo drags a hand over his face. “It doesn’t matter what angle we try to take—this situation is out of control and only getting worse. They haven’t managed to assassinate one of the Thirteen, but it’s only a matter of time.”
Worry slithers through me. My brother has always seemed so untouchable, but the reality is that he’s only human like the rest of us. He coulddie.“Maybe you should step down. If we lost you—”
“Olympus needs me.” He says the words with the air of someone who’s repeated them often. “And besides, even stepping down now wouldn’t help. The public isn’t paying attention to details. They’re just as likely to attempt to kill me regardless of whether I still hold the title. Triton wasn’t one of the Thirteen, and that didn’t save him.”
“I saw the news.” I should probably feel something about his death—it’s tragic in the way that all violent deaths are, but Triton was a bastard and a half. I feel bad for his daughters though. “Are the girls okay?”
“Poseidon sent his people to secure the house and keep them safe.”
I swallow the impulse to ask him again to step down. He won’t do it, and we’ll just end up fighting. He’s probably right anyway, but the thought of losing him makes me sick to my stomach. My brother and I haven’t always seen eye to eye; truth be told, growing up, we fought more than we spoke. That doesn’t change the fact that I love him. He’s family.
I shouldn’t have brought my problems to him. Not when he’s dealing with so much shit right now. I clear my throat. “There’s a way out. You’ll find it. You’re too damned smart not to.”
“Maybe.”
“You will,” Cassandra says from where she’s pouring a large glass of wine in the kitchen. She eyes me. “But that means he doesn’t have time for your…whatever is happening right now. Let the grown-ups deal with grown-up things.”
