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“Shouldn’t it be my choice?” demanded Jari.
Aurelius ignored him. Jari came over and started dragging his bedroll closer.
Make them all golden.
Aurelius rolled over. He could resist it, but he still hated hearing that little toneless whisper in the back of his mind while Jari was right in his line of vision. Also, if he turned his back, maybe Jari would get the fucking message and stop trying. The more he tried, the more Aurelius wanted to break down, give in, and take everything he could get before it was too late to have everything.
“Stop trying to push me away,” Jari said in a low voice as he lay down so close, Aurelius was sure he could feel the heat of his body. “I don’t know if you think this is better for me or what, but I’m here for you no matter what you say or how much you snap or yell at me. You’re not going to make me hate you.”
Jari’s arm was suddenly over his waist, and he pulled Aurelius in so their bodies were flush. Aurelius’s throat tightened as he tried not to cry and keep himself locked in his shell. That stupid muscle in his cheek started twitching while he struggled to remain unyielding. Why did things have to be like this when he finally had someone that cared? He wanted the hug so fucking bad.
“Don’t lock me out,” Jari whispered. “That hurts worse.”
Aurelius turned over to bury his face in Jari’s chest and snake an arm over him to get more of the touch he craved. Jari tightened his hold as his breathing hitched for a second.
Maybe Aurelius could have just a little bit of what he wanted. Just a tiny amount, and he wouldn’t have to hurt Jari right at the current moment. His eye watered as Jari stroked his hair and held him tightly, just the way he wanted.
Everything is mine.
***
Once the feel of Jari stroking his hair faded, his warmth vanished to be replaced by a new kind that he knew was there, but he couldn’t quite feel. The gold bricks beneath him were so gorgeous, sometimes, he felt he could always look at them and ignore everything else. The edges were so perfect, and the gleam always held his attention.
Pure gold.
Of course, he was going to look at the golden pavement and be interested in that. Why put it there and complain that his attention was too often downward?
Flight brought new freedom while he looked down at the land and fairies. The gold was gone, and he’d never see it again since He would no longer look upon those who had first fallen and followed the setting of the morning star.
He could still have gold and everything he wanted. They’d own it all. This was far better since no one could tell him to not look down on those who were lesser or upon what he wanted. Here, he had tons of little toys to play with, and the silly Goddess they revered so much wouldn’t protect them.
When he awoke, he was still against Jari who slept. Besides the constant nagging in his head, a new urge was there. The sane part of him said no, and the thing lodged in his brain didn't care. After all, weren't they the same?
He needed to have children and ensure his new life in case the current failed. He’d keep going forever.
Chapter Ten
Jari wasn’t sure if the hug did it or if Aurelius simply couldn’t stand being so locked up in his head after the latest events. Every night, he curled up against Jari who would stroke his hair. It must have soothed him despite the constant desire in the back of his brain that he said never went away.
He was quiet a lot during the day, and Jari treated him as normally as possible. It cracked and jabbed at his chest to see Aurelius so down like that thing had beaten him down from the inside. He was still there, but Mammon’s claws were sunk too deep.
“Do you want to tell me what you’re thinking?” Jari asked as they neared the village where they’d hidden the items.
He’d let Aurelius do what he wanted and gave him all of the nonsexual affection he’d take, and not push him to talk. He wasn’t sure if Aurelius needed the invitation. Part of him was desperate for touch and affection even though he’d tried to push Jari away more than once by releasing him from his vow and ignoring him for a bit.
Maybe Aurelius was giving him the cold shoulder again and didn’t care to share his thoughts. It didn’t matter. Once those items were gone, Jari wasn’t taking him back to Morning Glory. If his Prince wanted a house by the beach, Jari would build it with his own two bare hands if he had to, and he’d give Aurelius his wish for the rest of his life.
“Even with the salt in my locket, I’m getting worse,” Aurelius finally said.
“What? How are you getting worse?”
“Because I am.”
“Listen, I know everything that happened is still raw and fresh-”
“It’s telling me to have a child. So it can spread and continue just in case.” Aurelius glanced at him.
Jari leaned over. “I’m pretty sure you don’t want kids.”
