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I straighten and face him. "You're not helping."
"I have needs." He bites his bottom lip playfully.
I'm stunned, and I watch in silence as his eyes trail down my body like it's the first time meeting me, and he likes what he sees.
I suck my teeth and push him slightly out of my way. "Stop playing around, Santi. This isn't funny."
My heart is racing, and I don't know why. Scratch that; I know why, but I wasn't prepared for him to act like this. He's playing around. I know he is. He's been trying to undo all the hurt he has caused. I know he is trying.
In class, he sits next to me and cracks jokes. He brings me my favorite coffee in the morning, and I'm grateful. He says nothing rude or hurtful. But this is the first time he has looked at me that way.
The guys reset the game, and when I walk toward the stairs, Santi drags me to the half bathroom behind the stairs.
"Santi, what are you doing?" He pulls me in and shuts the door. It's dark because this bathroom doesn't have a window. "It's dark."
"Sorry." He flicks on the light, and I squint.
"Why did you drag me in here."
"I wanted to talk to you."
"Okay, but I need to see Xavier. I don't need to be in a bathroom to talk to you."
"I know, but he's washing…off now."
Eww.
"That's gross, but… what do you want to talk to me about."
"You know how I called you and told you I wanted you around and that I've been a dick to you all these years, and I said I was sorry even though it doesn't excuse the shit I've done to you."
He did, but I've stayed away because of Maxim. Staying away from Santi helps put those emotions to rest. I want to feel. I want butterflies from a guy who makes them flutter when he's around. When he holds my hand because he wants to, not because I've begged or hoped. And I want all those things people write about when they like someone. Someone who treats them right.
I can't say I've forgiven Santi because I haven't, but I have told him I want to move past it all, and I'm relieved he hadn’t told anyone about me cutting.
He made me swear not to do it again and, if I felt like doing it, to call him like Maxim offered.
"Yes," I say.
"I wanted to tell you that I can't wait to see you at the game, and I understand you don't feel comfortable wearing my number, but I wanted to know if you will grab something to eat with me after... as friends." He dips his head near my ear and whispers, "We were so close when we were younger, Elena. Remember?" I hear him swallow. "You are and will always be my best friend, and I'm so sorry I've been this monster to you."
"Santi?"
"Yeah?"
Holy fuck, his cock is digging into my belly. I push back against the door.
I point between us at his huge dick, tenting his sweats. "I think as friends when need to talk about that monster showing up."
His eyes widen like he has been caught watching porn by his parents. "I-I'm horny, Elena."
"I can't help you with that."
"You… here gets me like this."
"Stop lying, Santi. I think you needed the girl who walked out, not my brother." He places his hand above my head and closes his eyes. "What are you doing?"
"Thinking of hamsters…ponies…puppies. Anything to make it go away."
