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∞∞∞
During the second period there’s a knock on the door as a student enters and they hand a note to the teacher. He readsover it before his head pops up to look at me.
“Lorenzo, you are wanted in the office. Take your things with you,” he instructs. Everyone’s eyes are on me again as I pack everything up and take the pass from him as I leave and head towards the principal’s office. Hiking up the huge stairs I reach the top and I’m greeted by my home room teacher and the principal.
“Hi Lorenzo, could you come into the office with us please?” Mrs. Lancaster asks. I follow behind them and take a seat she indicates for me to sit in. I don’t understand why I’m here until she comes and takes the vacant seat beside me. “Lorenzo, we've gotten a call about your grandfather.”
“Is he okay?” I ask, as my heart gallops in my chest.
“He had a heart attack not long ago but there was nothing they could do. I’m sorry Lorenzo, but your grandfather passed away.” Her voice trails off as she keeps talking but I can’t hear her words. It’s as if my ears are blocked. Nothing penetrates through as I sit there numb.
“Lorenzo, are you okay?” My home room teacher’s voice breaks through the fog, and her hand on my forearm draws my attention to her.
“Where is he?” I ask.
“He’s at the hospital. They are going to take care of the body to get it ready for wherever you would like it sent for funeral arrangements. Is there anyone we can call? Have you got any other family?” she asks, and I shake my head. It was only my gramps and I left. It had always been me, my gramps, and my nana until my nana passed.
“Can I leave for the day?” I ask.
“Yes, that’s fine. Do you need help with anything?” Mrs. Lancaster asks, and I shake my head again.
“I may be out of school for a few days while I organise the funeral, but I will be back,” I tell her.
“Don’t worry about that, Lorenzo. Do you need a lift anywhere?” she asks, but I shake my head.
“No, I have my bike. I guess I’ll go then,” I tell them.
“If you need anything, please come and talk to either of us. We are here to help you,” Mrs. Lancaster says.
Both women’s faces are etched with sadness. I nod, not able to form words then pick up my bag and head out of the office.
Once on my bike, it’s as if I go into autopilot all the way to the hospital. My only thought is to get to my gramps. When I tell the receptionist I’m there because my gramps died, she gives me the same sad look. My body sags into a seat and my foot taps against the linoleum as I wait for someone to take me through to see him.
From the moment I see him, it’s as if my body shuts down. It’s moving and going through the motions, but my brain and heart are shut off from each other. My brain has shut off access to my heart so no emotions will leak out. I answer all their questions in a robotic tone and when I look at my gramps on the cold table, I feel disconnected. That’s not how I remember him.
I’m not sure how long I stay there but then Lewis is by my side and wraps his arm around my shoulder as we stand side by side. He says he will help me with the shop and not to worry about it now. My gramps wanted me to focus on school and that’s what I'm meant to do.
∞∞∞
Lewis follows me back to my house and we form a plan with funeral arrangements. There isn’t a need for a big funeral as there isn’t much family and it’s mainly the guys from the shopwho will be there. It’s all a daze and I don’t know how I make it through.
The day of the funeral comes and goes and I’m still numb to everything. I took the rest of the week off school. Lewis kept his word and is taking care of the shop. I’ve placed him in charge until I figure out what I’m going to do. A lawyer came and saw me about Gramps’ assets. The shop and the house have been left to me. There’s still a little left on the mortgage but with the shop going strong, I can keep on top of that easily enough.
I have no idea about paying bills or mortgages or what not as Gramps always took care of it all. Lewis has been a lifesaver helping me with everything. His wife Helen has been bringing over meals every day for me to freeze and heat up when I need it, so I don’t have to worry about food for a while. I’ll have to go grocery shopping soon though I have no idea what I’m doing. I guess I’ll learn though.
Walking into school the Monday after my gramps’ funeral, I’ve never felt so utterly alone. The clanging of the lockers is background noise as I’m lost in my head which seems to be a recurring theme these last few days. My world has been turned on its head while everyone else’s has stayed the same.
Automatically my fingers flick through to the combination of my locker and there sit the three now wilted roses I’d left behind. Grabbing the roses, I switch out my books as I’d left with whatever was in my bag at the time. With a slam of my locker door, I turn and carry the roses to the rubbish bin ready to drop them in but one of the notes is still attached, so I pull it off. It’s the one with the poem. Today more than ever, I need a reminder I’m not so alone, so I shove the note in my pants pocket before dropping the roses in the bin.
I turn to walk down the hall towards class and catch sight of her red hair disappearing through a doorway. Just when Ithought I could make progress with her, that day turned into the worst day of my life. Now I want to keep to myself.
I walk into the class we share, and my head tells me not to look. I can’t help but try to steal a glance. She’s looking at me though and I see the smile she offers but I pretend I miss it and continue to my desk on the opposite side of the room. It’s better this way. I don’t want to bring her down with my mood. My butt drops into my chair and my focus shifts outside the window to daydream. My body may be here physically, but my mind is a million miles away, wondering how I’m supposed to get through this thing called life when I’m all alone.
Chapter Seven
Lorenzo
It’s now the third day of the second term. The holidays came and went, and I’ve learnt something major. How to survive. I may be hanging on by a thread but I’m surviving.
