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True to her word, Beth allowed sleep to claim her as long as her body needed it. When her eyes finally cracked open, she was surprised to see it was dark outside.What time was it?Tapping the lock screen on her cellphone, she was startled to read 9:38 pm. She had slept theentireday away!
Quickly rising from the bed, she dressed, brushed her teeth, washed her face, and went to the kitchen to prepare some real food. The few snacks she had grabbed throughout her shift yesterday and then the cheese stick she had nibbled on before the bath she had planned did not stick well to her bones throughtwelvehours of sleep.
Saraphina was still struggling with a set routine, and she hated risking waking her, but the thought of leaving this all till tomorrow didn’t sit well with her, so she opened the recent calls on her phone and clicked on Sarah’s name. As it rang, she chopped leftover chicken breast into cubes and added them to the chopped salad she already had washed and waiting for her. She knew she would be too tired to make anything when she got home, so she had something easy already prepared. Too bad shehadn’t thought to eat it this morning before going to sleep. At least the hunger pains hadn’t woken her.
The line finally clicked, and Sarah’s excited voice came through, “Mom! Please tell me you are just getting up and really slept twelve hours.”
“I am just getting up andreallyslept twelve hours.”
Sarah chuckled, but the relief in her voice was evident. “I know you hate it when I get in your business, but I do not like it when you work such long hours. That is hard foranyone,but you aren’t getting any younger, and losing sleep like that is not adding years to your life! I need you here as long as possible. Saraphina needs you here, too." A pleading that Beth was not used to hearing entered Sarah’s voice, and she knew where it was stemming from, but it still made her uncomfortable. “Please, Mom,please take care of yourself so we don’t lose you early.”
“Sarah, I love you. I understand that you are still hurting after losing Natalie’s mother and all the feelings that dredged up from losing your father, but Honey, I need you to remember something. None of us knows the day we are going to go home. It isn’t up to us. I could stop working today and be gone tomorrow. It just depends on when God calls us home. I don’t want you to feel like I am not considering your feelings, but I also want you to think about the fear that is gripping you and face it head-on. Okay?” Beth tried to soften her words, but she also needed Sarah to understand the truth of the matter.
“Mom, I hear you, but I also need you to remember that you are not a spring chicken anymore. You have been taking extra shifts for as long as I can remember. It was necessary when you were a single mom and our welfare rested solely on your shoulders, but it isn’t like that anymore. I worry that you are so used to doing it that you don’t think about any other options or, heaven forbid, actually sayingno.Just think about it, okay?“ The pleading was back in Sarah’s voice, and Beth didn’t like it.
“Okay, Sweetie. I will think about it. Now, what did you call me about this morning? Early morning calls are normally not your thing.”
“I don’t really have athingsince Saraphina joined our family, but you’re right; I usually wait till a little later when I am fairly certain everyone has had their morning beverage before I make calls.“ There was a pause on the line, and Beth wasn’t sure if Sarah was distracted by the baby or if she was taking time to think carefully about her wording. If you can feel a silence, it felt like the latter.
“Mom, I know you said you were planning on coming up here for all the holidays now that Saraphina is here, and I want you to know that you arealwayswelcome. Eric even said he would love for you to come any time, and you know he is very picky about his home and who visits.”
“Sarah, I feel a but coming. I may have slept twelve hours, but I am still pretty tired. You know I don’t need sugar added to anything. Just say what you need to say, sweetie.” Beth sat down at the kitchen table with her salad before her but didn’t reach for the fork.
“Thanksgiving, we plan on getting together with all of our friends. Well, they are friends from the outside looking in, but we are family. Tom and Natalie are my brother and sister, you already know that. You met Zach. He is a brother to Eric, and now his wife has joined the family, and there are a few more. Tom and I have a way of making the large family we always wanted and couldn’t have. We will be spending Thanksgiving, and likely Christmas Eve and Christmas, at a friend’s home, which has a lot more space. Of course, you are welcome. You are my mom and Tom’s. Everyone is adopting you as family, mama, but I just wanted you to know before you come that it won’t be a quiet little dinner at home with just the six of us.” Sarah took a deep breath that could be heard through the line.
“Oh, how nice. I am so happy that you have such an amazing collection of people filling your hearts and lives with love and joy. It really does my heart good to hear that, Sarah.” This time, it was Beth’s turn to pause. “I actually have something I need to share with you. No decision has been made yet. The offer just came yesterday.” Another long pause as Beth wondered if she was doing the right thing bringing the cruise up. It felt selfish to go on a cruise instead of spending precious time with her granddaughter.
“Mom, it is not like you to be hesitant. What is it?” Sarah asked.
“I was offered the opportunity to go on a Thanksgiving Caribbean Cruise. I don’t know the details because I had every intention of turning it down, but what are your thoughts?” Beth’s heart was racing a little, and she wasn’t sure why. Was she worried? Excited? Why was she even asking Sarah? She had already made up her mind yesterday to turn Chad down; she just hadn’t had the opportunity to tell him yet.
“What? Mom, that is wonderful! I say go for it. Of course, that is only as long as the person gifting it to you is a trusted source and the cruise line is reputable. I know how long you have wanted to go on a cruise, and this sounds perfect!” The smile on Sarah’s face could be heard in her voice. She was genuinely excited for Beth.
“Really? You don’t feel any certain way that I will be missing Thanksgiving with you and your precious daughter and husband to go have fun with a friend?” She felt relief but also something more, like perhaps she wasn’t needed, wouldn’t be missed.
“Mom, I am going to say this plainly because you don’t like sugar added, but I need you to hear this sincerely. Actually, no. We need to video chat for this. Hold on.” Three seconds later, the phone started ringing, and the call switched to video. Sarah’s face popped up on the screen, and Beth could see she was in thenursery feeding Saraphina. “Much better. Okay, listen carefully. I love you. You are the hardest-working mother I have ever known. You did everything in your power to make sure I had everything I needed and most of the things I wanted. I never felt at a disadvantage because Dad died. Yes, I missed him and missed having a dad, but you did a wonderful job taking care of me and providing for me. With that said, if you take a moment to look back on our life, we very rarely ever celebrated holidays on the real day because you were always picking up extra hours. I understood that and never, not even once, had a negative feeling about your work schedule.” Sarah paused to gather her thoughts, trying very hard not to hurt her mother’s feelings.
A tear streaked down Beth’s cheek, and Sarah’s heart sank. “Mom, stop. Listen. Really listen to me. Holidays are not about days on a calendar, or exchanging gifts, or eating special foods. Holidays are about being grateful for things that happened in the past that make our future possible. They are for spending time with the ones we love, making sure we appreciate them, and letting them know how much we care. I don’t think I ever did a good job growing up; thanking you for all you did to make my holiday celebrations possible and also my everyday life. Don’t get me wrong. I want to see you and for you to spend as much time with Saraphina as you possibly can. What I am trying to say is that the day does not matter. And what I was trying to explain earlier is that if you come on Thanksgiving or Christmas day, you won’t get our undivided attention as we will be sharing that time with our adopted and extended family.”
Tears continued to stream down Beth’s face, but it wasn’t from hurt. She was proud of her daughter. She was grateful that she hadn’t ruined her as a single parent doing the best she could but too often leaving her alone as she worked late hours at the hospital. She felt blessed, but she also felt more torn than ever.
“Sarah, you just said that you didn’t hold all the holidays that we missed against me because you understood my work schedule and need for overtime, but… What if I miss this holiday just because I can. This would be a selfish reason to miss spending Thanksgiving with your family. Would you not feel something less generous towards me then?”
“What? No! Never! Mom, doing something for yourself does not make you selfish. You gave up so much to provide for me as a child. But I am not a child anymore. I am able to care for myself and my family, and Eric is a provider, too. I want you to take any opportunity you can to live your life and enjoy it. As you reminded me earlier, no one knows how many days they have. Yes, I want you to spend as many as you can with us, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t spend any of the days you have left on you. As a single parent with a young, dependent child, yes, you had to make sacrifices for me, put your desires on hold for a time to make sure I had what I needed to survive. I didn’t just survive, Mom, Ithrived. But your time of sacrifice should have been over a long time ago. Please, start taking more time for yourself to have fun, and stop working so many hours. You have enough money to retire comfortably, and you are always welcome in my home. I will help take care of you if you ever want or need it. This time is yours.”
“Thank you, Sarah. If you are sure you don’t mind, I think I will call my friend and let them know I will be accepting their generous offer.” Excitement started to surge through Beth’s veins, causing her heart to race.
“Yes! Call them right now. Before you go, mind telling me who you are going with? I know it is not Annette because Tom already told me her plans.” Sarah was trying her best not to pry, but Beth could tell she wanted all the details.
“I don’t have any details because I was going to say no, but Chadwick Fox, my doctor friend from the hospital, invited me togo with him. He doesn’t have any family, and he said that he was done spending holidays alone. Seems like he booked the cruise on a whim, hoping I would say yes. He already bought my ticket and reserved my stateroom. I don’t think he can change the name on it.”
“Oh wow. That is an interesting way to solve the lonely holiday problem. I am so glad he chose you to be his travel companion. You two have been friends for such a long time. You remind me of Tom and me just a little different. Dr. Fox is nice. I have always liked him.” Sarah felt much better knowing a trusted friend would be taking her mother on her first real adventure.
“I didn’t think you would even remember him. You have only met him a handful of times over the years.”
“Yes, I might have only seen him in person a few times, but you talk about him all the time or call or text. It is the same way I always talk about Tom. You knew all about him before I even brought him home. I feel totally relaxed and happy for you, knowing that you will be traveling with Dr. Fox. If you can, send me the trip details just so I won’t worry about not knowing and have to have Tom hack into your emails. Or worse, Dr. Fox’s emails.”
The chuckle that followed that statement may have been full of humor, but Beth knew Sarah was totally serious. If she didn’t get her the details, Tom would indeed hack their computers and get them for her. She smiled at the thought while shaking her head at the family she had and the children she loved. Her life was good, and it was about to get even better.
