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It feels right.
We laugh together as Viktor tells me some stories about the trouble he’s gotten into while growing up. He sounds like he was a troublemaker, but that doesn’t really surprise me at all. There’s a mischievousness in his eyes as he talks, and I find myself pulled deeper into the feelings I’ve been trying to ignore when it comes to my husband.
When we talk about likes and dislikes, he seems to listen intently when I talk. Could he really be cataloging all the information away? Like how I don’t like shrimp, but love calamari? How I’ve never been to Russia, but long to go? How I prefer mountain cabins over beachy retreats?
The intensity and focus he blankets me with makes me feel warm and fuzzy. I could try and attribute it to the second glass of wine I’m drinking, but I know it’s not true. It’s him.
It’s all him.
Viktor leans back in his chair, satisfaction radiating from him. “I have to say, I’m glad Nikolai told me I needed to get my head out of my ass and take you out.”
My heart sinks with his words. He didn’t want to do this. It was an edict from his brother, one he probably didn’t think he could refuse.
I can’t believe I allowed myself to think, if even for a moment, this could be the start of something more. That I thought he actually cared about me and wanted to get to know me.
My head tilts down and I swallow hard while blinking, trying to keep the tears at bay. Now is not the time to show weakness, especially not in front of my husband. Not now.
Not fucking ever.
CHAPTER 6
VIKTOR
Calla has been quiet since we finished dinner and headed home. She’s walking in front of me to our wing. Everything changed the moment I mentioned Nikolai was the one to suggest I take my wife out on a date.
It’s kind of fucked up that I took her out on our first date after I married her. I might have been against this whole arrangement, but even I can admit as much.
When I was called into Nikolai’s office today, I could tell by his face he was going to lay into me. I braced for it, expecting words about my place in the family business or some shit. Now that I was married, I figured he thought I was going to step up in other ways.
I was surprised as fuck when his eyes flashed with disappointment and he sighed, “I have some concerns about how seriously you’re taking your marriage.”
I bristled, my spine going straight, as my mind raced. I spit my words, indignation filling each one, “What the fuck, Nikolai? I got married to a woman I don’t know without fighting you on it. I was the perfect husband throughout the reception. I danced with her and smiled at our guests. I moved her into my room.” I threw my hands up, “What more do you want from me?”
“Effort,” he barked. “You’re out of that room you share,” he sneered a little, “as early as you can, and you only go up there late at night.” I opened my mouth to protest, but I couldn’t because he was right. Before I could come up with something, he held up a hand and cut me off. “I get that this probably isn’t comfortable for you, but this is real, and it is happening.”
“I know it’s happening,” I grumbled, “I’m the one who got married.”
The weight of the ring on my finger felt like it was dragging me down while I was sitting in front of my oldest brother. What I wouldn’t admit to anyone, what I barely was willing to admit to myself, was the weight felt nice most of the time. It felt right in a way that I was trying not to resent. I just wasn’t at acceptance. Yet.
“Then stop avoiding your wife and get to know her. Make the best of it.”
Nikolai’s eyes bored into me. While I wanted to fight him on it, I also knew he was right. I sighed and my shoulders slumped. I forced the words past my lips, “What do you suggest?”
“Take her out. Get to know her. Stop treating her like she had some choice in this. She didn’t.”
I nodded slowly because I knew what he was saying was true. I didn’t waste any time heading to our wing to find Calla considering it was close to dinner time. When I opened the door, finding her curled up on the couch with a book in her hand made my breath hitch.
I’m so used to women being made up in the attempt to catch a guy’s attention, but there was something even more alluring about seeing my wife dressed casually. There was nothing artificial about the way I found her. Hell, even when she camedownstairs dressed and ready for dinner, she wasn’t overly made up like she was some doll designed just to look pretty.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more beautiful woman, honestly. There’s an air about her which draws me in. As we sat through dinner, I found it coiling around me and pulling me under her spell. I listened to everything she told me like she was handing me a treasure with everything she shared.
It was the first time in a long fucking time that I allowed myself to open up to another person as well. Most people don’t care about what I want or who I am, they only care about my name and what I can do for them. It’s true for most of the people I call friends and the women I’ve hooked up with, including Hazel.
Calla isn’t like that though, she’s genuine. I was kind of hating that I hadn’t allowed myself to get to know her sooner. She didn’t seem to hold it against me, and I tucked away every laugh and smile she gave me.
Then I went and put my foot in my mouth by admitting Nikolai pushed me to take her out. The moment the words were out of my mouth, I saw her walls come up and knew I had fucked up royally. Knowing I hurt her makes my gut twist in an uncomfortable way.
Part of me is pissed that her mood can affect me the way it is, but I get why she reacted the way she did. The night was going so well, but then I cheapened it. I wish taking her on a date had been my idea.
