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God…it hurts so fucking much. I really need a drink. It feels like my body is rebelling against me, every move I make is like shifting a half ton of dead weight.
My arms feel like lead. It’s like I can’t even hold them up anymore.
But then the anger takes over. When there’s anger there’s no pain. I don’t need fucking medicine! I need alcohol.
Something comes over me and I start chucking the glasses and bowls from the cupboards…smashing everything on the floor!
WHERE’S MY FUCKING WHISKEY!
“CHASE!” It’s Lara.
“They took my fucking bottles!” I attack the next cupboard, emptying it out by dropping cans, boxes and everything else to the floor.
There’s got to besomething!Even if there’s cooking wine or something like that!
“CHASE, STOP!”
I ignore her.
“CHASE!”
“I need my medicine, Lara. Whiskey is my medicine, not fucking pills!”
“Chase, just stop! You’re acting crazy!”
I don’t bother looking at her, the next thing to go are the plates. They clatter and crash to the floor, I don’t give a fuck!
“Look at me, Chase! You’re bleeding for Christ’s sake!”
“They took my fucking whiskey. Those petty assholes! Did you see them?” I keep emptying the cupboards. There’s got to be one left. “It must’ve been Dixon or Fletch. It must’ve been! Dom must’ve told them to do it!”
I feel her small hand on my arm when she pushes me. I turn to look at her and there’s a mixture of anger, sadness and surprise on her face.
I’ve never seen her like this before.
She reaches up and slaps me in the face with all her might.
It does nothing but interrupt my train of thought. I look at her…wondering why she slapped me…then she does it again!
She tries a third time and I grab her hand, “What are you doing?”
“Itook your fucking whiskey!”
“Huh?”
“I said—I took your fucking whiskey!Me! I did it!”
Suddenly all the anger drains out of me and I feel as heavy as a ton of bricks. “Why? I need it, Lara.”
“Nobodyneedswhiskey, Chase. Youwantit. You can’t heal bones if you’re drinking a bottle of scotch every night. Look at what you’ve done to yourself! You’re bleeding!”
“You’re wrong, Lara. Idoneed it.”
“Need it for what?”
“You wouldn’t understand.”Fuck!
“You’re right, I probably wouldn’t,” she shakes her head in frustration. “Everyone who’s dependent on a substance thinks no one else can understand.”
