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My heart is hammering uneasily. I wish that I was part of the staff right now. And little pinpricks of desire race up and down my spine.
I try to focus on the group in front of me. On discussing the benefits of hiking versus horseback riding.
When I finish the last of my tea, I wander over to the cooler and pour myself some more from the jug.
The cup is halfway to my lips when Adrian sidles over to me. “Enjoying the night?”
I take a long sip of my drink and swallow. “I am. How about you?”
Adrian pours himself some iced tea and glances around the campfire. “Honestly? This is one of my favorite parts of the retreat. It’s one of the reasons I started this business.”
“Didn’t you have enough campfires when you were a boy scout?”
Adrian chuckles. “Fair enough. But no, I didn’t. But that’s not really why. After college, I traveled the world for fun. And I ended up volunteering for a year at a retreat center in Peru. And it wasn’t until I came back home that I realized what I wanted to do.”
I twist, so I’m facing him directly. His entire body is bathed in moonlight.
It gives him a warm and intimate glow that does strange things to my insides.
Half of me wants to wrap a hand around his neck and pull him down for a kiss.
The other half of me wants to set my cup down and run in the opposite direction.
Instead, I sip on more of my suddenly lukewarm drink and shift from one foot to the other. “Oh, I get it. You wanted to be able to pester people all the time.”
Adrian lets out another laugh. “Yes, that’s exactly right. Am I that obvious?”
I hide my smile. “Only to me. You’re not as subtle as you think.”
Adrian gives me an amused look and sips on his drink. “And here I thought I was being really smooth.”
I clear my throat. “So, what did you realize when you came back?”
“That I wanted to do something that hasn't been done before. I wanted to give people a completely transformative experience. On every single level. To help people to re-connect with the best versions of themselves.”
I nod. “I think that’s very noble of you.”
Adrian shrugs. “I don’t know about noble. But I know what it’s like to watch the people you love suffer and struggle. This world isn’t as kind as it should be. And I want to play a part in changing that.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Oh, so that’s your fatal flaw. You’re one of those guys with a hero complex.”
Adrian winces. “Guilty as charged. We all have our vices.”
I pause. “As far as vices go, it’s actually not bad. I mean, I’m not one to talk. I have a hard time letting people go. And an even harder time walking away from things. Even when I know I should.”
“Yeah?”
I sigh and study the flames leaping and dancing and casting long shadows across the ground. “Yeah, and I keep trying. Because I can never quite bring myself to give up. Because I was taught to fight for the people that I love until I can’t anymore.”
Adrian brushes his hand against mine. “I’m sorry you’ve had to go through that. I can’t imagine that turning your back on someone you love is ever easy.”
“Yes, well I do have a good support system.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I see a flash of movement. When I focus, I realize that Adrian is being called over by his employees.
He offers me an apologetic smile, sets his drink down, and wanders over. I wait until he leaves before my shoulders sag. Then I let out a deep, shaky breath.
I sit down on a fallen log and go over all of the reasons why this is a bad idea.
