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Doctor Sheridan pushes her glasses up her nose. “Do you still feel like he has issues he’s not telling you about?”
I nod. “Now more than ever. What if he’s got a split personality or something? It would explain a lot…”
Doctor Sheridan’s expression doesn’t change. “Whether or not he has issues isn’t the problem here.”
“How is that not the problem?”
“Because Mr. X isn’t my patient. You are. So, unless he walks in here and asks for treatment himself, I can’t help him.”
I sit up straighter and my pulse quickens. “What if I could get him here? What if I convince him to come and see you?”
Doctor Sheridan sets down her clipboard and leans forward. “If he came, I wouldn’t turn him away. But I think you’re trying to avoid the bigger issue here, Danielle.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You’re fixating on his issues to avoid dealing with your own. You told me that you wanted a nice and normal guy to date. If Mr. X does indeed have issues, are you going to be able to deal with them?”
I pause, and my mind goes blank. “I…I guess so.”
Doctor Sheridan gives me a sympathetic smile. “No one can force you to put up with something like this, Danielle. I need you to understand what you’ll be agreeing to.”
I stiffen. “I’m not shallow, doc. Everyone has issues.”
Doctor Sheridan shakes her head. “Of course they do. I didn’t mean to upset you, Danielle. And I don’t think you’re shallow. But you did come out of what sounds like a toxic and serious relationship. I’m not sure that throwing yourself into another one is the solution.”
I frown. “What? You’re the one who told me I needed to try new experiences. Now, you’re telling me not to?”
“New experiences don’t include repeating old habits,” Doctor Sheridan offers. “You can’t keep doing the same thing over and over and expect different results. Am I making any sense?”
I deflate and run a hand over my face. “So, you don’t think I should stick around?”
Doctor Sheridan sits up straighter and picks up the clipboard. “I can’t tell you what to do, Danielle. That’s not why I’m here. I’m here to help you figure out what you want to do. And to help you decide what the best decision is for you.”
“If he got help, things would be better.”
“In theory, yes, but some psychological problems can last a lifetime. People don't just snap out of them. It can be an emotional roller coaster. And that could become your normal if you decide to continue pursuing a relationship with him.”
A lump rises in the back of my throat. “I see.”
“Why don’t you take things slow, like I suggested? You don’t need to have everything figured out right now, especially with so much change happening in your life.”
I nod.
“How’s work going? Have you had any news from your boss?”
“No, but I’m supposed to check in soon. I’m hoping that she’s softened a little bit by then. So that I can talk to her about the changes I want to make.”
Doctor Sheridan smiles. “Good. It’s important to try and focus on the things you can control. Everything else, you take it as it comes.”
For the rest of the session, Doctor Sheridan gives me sage advice and techniques to help combat anxiety and overthinking.
But I’m still pondering what she said about Adrian, about whether or not I can handle being with him.
Being with him properly. And without boundaries between us.
As I walk out of the session an hour later, I realize I have no idea.
I’ve been so busy trying to make sense of his mood swings and behavior shifts that I haven’t stopped to wonder what happens when I do have my answers.
