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It’s a declaration I’ve never heard her make before and I’ve known her for a long time. I’ve known there are two halves to Ashleigh Jordan for longer than most. And I’ve seen Ashleigh in heels thousands of times.
When we reach the dance floor, I wrap my arm around her back and pull her closer.
There’s a pinch of her brow, a squint at the corners of her eyes and a twitch at the edge of her lips. It’s a wince. A brief flash of a grimace and then a second later it’s gone. Now, as I study her expression extra carefully, she smiles back at me as though it never happened at all. She wraps her fingers around mine. I can’t be sure the pain had ever been there at all. But, I’m sure I didn’t imagine it.
“Did I really have something on my cheek?” I ask.
“No.” Ashleigh laughs, making me super aware of every part of her body pressed close to mine. “I wasn't sure you'd get what I was doing, but you did. How long have we been on the same wavelength?”
“Forever,” I reply. “Don't you remember walking into the college newspaper and clicking with me immediately?”
“Of course, but I don't remember it being like this.”
“It got complicated,” I explain.
“It’s still complicated.” She sighs.
“Why do we keep getting this so wrong?” I ask. My voice is barely audible over the live music. “You and me… we fit, don't we? Why weren’t we meant to be together?” Her silence speaks volumes. “Ashleigh,” I whisper again. “You agreed to marry me and then you ran off with another man. Please talk to me. Tell me what happened.”
“You'll tell the world,” she replies. The distrust in her voice breaks me in two. “And this is something I don't want the world to know.”
Ignoring how much her distrust hurts, I twirl her under the arch of our arms. “You don’t trust me. And so early in our marriage.”
“That's not funny.”
“Oh c’mon.” I laugh, trying to break the tension. “Of course, it is.”
I sweep her back into my arms, perform a couple of swift moves that she struggles to keep up with, and slow it down to a simple waltz. She’s never struggled in the past. We may never have danced in public, but we danced in private all the time. Ashleigh loves to dance. Maybe she's had too much to drink? No, she’s been drinking cranberry juice all night.
“A drunken trip down the aisle is the only way you and I would have ended up married after Ramirez,” I tell her honestly. “I’m all out of more chances.”
“Who says I want one?” Ashleigh lifts her face toward mine. “What if I don't want you now?” Our dance comes to an abrupt stop. “I needed you, Sean, and you wouldn’t answer the phone. I’ll never forgive you for that.” She steps back from the circle of my arms and I let them drop to my side, not quite understanding what’s going on here. “I’ll give you a few weeks for Stephanie's sake. But there’s no going back. I want a divorce.”
I stand in the middle of the dance floor, watching Ashleigh walk toward Julia. What is with the women in my life walking away in the middle of conversations today? Does she honestly believe that’s it? That this conversation was over? Does she think she could spew utter nonsense about my lack of support and then walk away?
What the hell did that mean, anyway?
Why do I feel like I’ve done something wrong? Why do I feel like I’m missing some vitally important piece of information that everyone else knows? Something I should know. Something that will explain why Julia is so mad at me. Something that would explain why Ashleigh turned to someone else. Something that will fix everything!
What the hell have I done that’s so wrong?
I hadn’t cheated. She ran off first. It was months before Candice and I got together. I didn’t drunk dial her because I deleted her number from my phone. She wasn’t all that bothered by the attention I’d been giving her in the press. It backfired anyway. So, what the hell is going on?
“Ryder!”
Julia’s edgy shriek snaps me out of my thoughts, and my attention across the function room. Her mother hen instinct is in overdrive. Mimi and Darryl are both at Julia’s side. It takes a few long strides and I’m hovering on the edge of the crowd forming around Ashleigh as Julia hands Ashleigh her glass of cranberry juice from their table.
“This is what you get for not fucking listening to doctors’ orders, Ashleigh,” Ryder barks at her. “Why won’t you fucking listen to me? Slow the fuck down instead of giving everyone a fucking heart attack!”
“I’m okay,” Ashleigh dismisses Ryder’s words and waves him off. “I just got a little dizzy.”
A moment later, her gaze snaps to mine, and she stands. It’s as though whatever it is, she’s deliberately hiding it. From me.
“Stop fussing. Ryder, I don’t need an escort.”
But Ryder isn’t letting it go that easily. “You—”
“Stay, please,” she orders. “We’re supposed to be celebrating Julia and Darryl’s wedding. I’ll be fine going up to the room on my own.”
