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This time when the elevator pings, I’m calm, cool and collected. That is, until Zane steps out and the two of us lock eyes. Neither one of us wanting to be the first to look away. We hold each other’s gaze even when I stand up and he cautiously approaches. He might have taken me by surprise when he showed up out of the clear blue, but right now I’m here on my own terms. I’m finally strong enough to confront the demon who has hurt me for so long.
“I didn’t want to get into it while I was working today. But, since you took the time out of your busy schedule to come see me, the least I can do is listen to what you have to say.”
“Fair enough. Why don’t we go inside and get this over with once and for all?” Ouch, that really stings, but Zane’s never been known for his tact. And, if I’m being honest, we haven’t been cordial to one another for a very long time. A part of me aches for the relationship we had so long ago, then the other part of me remembers what he did just like it was yesterday.
He waves his hand for me to go inside first and once he closes the door behind him, I no longer feel brave and confident. In fact, I’m numb. Maybe that’s better than being angry and hurt, like I felt when I first saw him.
“Why don’t you have a seat and I’ll grab us a few beers. I have a feeling we’re going to need them.”
I choose to sit in the leather Chesterfield chair, so he has to sit on the matching sofa. For whatever reason, it makes me feel like I’m the one in charge. I know that might sound silly, but I have a clear path straight to the door. I have a gut feeling I might need to make a fast getaway.
I shake my head when he tries handing me a beer. I’d like to keep my wits about me, thank you very much. I’m patient, so I wait until he’s seated, popped off the top and taken a good long drink before I begin. “I’d like to think you came here for forgiveness, but since we haven’t spoken in years, I get the feeling it’s so much more.” Blowing out a pent-up breath while running both hands through his thick locks, he leans forward and glares in my direction. Well, well, well. I think I just hit the nail on the head.
“You have to believe me when I tell you that Val knew it was only going to be a hook-up from the very beginning. I just can’t believe you, of all people, would believe her instead of your own flesh and blood. I truly think it was just a conquest on her part. She wanted to fuck Zane Sinclair and she did. End of story.”
My temperature rises and my blood is boiling at this point. Even years later he’s still in denial. Valerie was in love with him from day one and he knew that when he slept with her. Deep down she might have known it was just for one night, but she was hoping for so much more.
Now it’s my turn to lean forward. “Being twins, we shared everything, and I mean everything. So, why couldn’t you just let me have my best friend all to myself? Why did you have to be so selfish and take her away from me? Val was the only one who was off limits and you knew that, Zane.” Damn if the waterworks don’t start in full force. Every fucking time I get angry I start crying.
“I know I’ve told you a thousand times and in a thousand different ways that I’m sorry, but I truly am, Zo. If I could go back in time and do it differently, I would. But, there are no do-overs in life so I’m hoping one day you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me.”
All I can do is shake my head at this point. He really has no clue. “You drove a wedge between all three of us that night. She wanted a relationship with you and I tried to make her understand that it would never happen in a million years. She wanted me to be the go-between and when I told her no, she said our friendship was over. That if I didn’t want to see her happy then I wasn’t a very good friend.” At this point I stop. We’ve been over this before and it’s exhausting.
“Did it ever occur to you that she might have been hanging around with you just to get to me?” Ugh, in hindsight I know that now, but I was in denial back then. Val was my bestie since the fourth grade, but our dynamics changed when her hormones kicked in. And I knew early on that she had her sights set on Zane.
“Oh please, don’t flatter yourself. She cared about me too, so it wasn’t always about you.”
“I know she did, but you have to admit things changed once we started college. Creepy things. You might not have known the extent of it, since you transferred in your sophomore year. After I fucked up and she broke off your friendship. Years after graduation, she still tried contacting me. To the point where I had to change my number several times. Do you know how difficult that is to do being a businessman?”
Listening to him drone on and on is giving me a headache. I know holding a grudge all these years has taken its toll on me, but what hurts the most is he didn’t have the balls to come clean. Zack’s the one who tattled on him, for a lack of a better word. He might have done so because he’s always been a bit jealous, but at least he was honest with me from the start. Ah fuck it!
“We could spend hours rehashing the same thing. Nothing changes. I’m going home to my husband and my baby girl. Have a nice life, Zane.” The moment I stand and head towards the door, he stops me dead in my tracks.
“Why does everyone leave me, Zoe? Am I such a bad person that no one can stand to be around me? I’d really like an honest answer because I met a woman who I care about and I’m afraid to fuck it all up.”
And, there it is. I knew he had a hidden agenda for this visit. “You just answered your own question without realizing it, Z. Honesty truly is the best policy when dealing with someone you care about. Whether it be your family, co-workers, clients or a new love interest. You’re so wrapped up with succeeding and being the best at what you do that you’ve lost track of what’s important. Zack might do a lot of things we don’t approve of but at least he’s honest. You would be smart to take his lead.” And with a heavy heart I open the door, but not before I hear him say, “I love you Zoe and I always will.” Closing the door behind me might be the hardest thing I’ve ever done. What Zane doesn’t realize is I’ve forgiven him a long time ago, but I haven’t forgotten. Now, he needs to fight for what he wants.
CHAPTER 17
ZANE
Since my disastrous visit with Zoe, I’ve immersed myself into the club even more so than usual. That doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten what she said. Quite the contrary. Everything I’ve accomplished since returning has been with the premise of letting others be in charge while I’m still in control. Which, in turn, gives me more flexibility and time off in the long run.
By doing so, I forced my hand into hiring five new employees just to keep up with the demand. But it’s all for Club Syn, so it was money well spent. Three new bartenders and two new waitstaff and everything just flows like a calm river on a sunny day. Wow, that just sounded so cheesy but it’s really the best description I could come up with on the fly. Makes my job a hell of a lot easier. Now, I can concentrate more on the club’s PR instead of rolling up my sleeves and pitching in. Which I didn’t mind doing, but my time is better spent behind the scenes.
I hit send on my last e-mail, lean back in my chair and close my eyes. Sometimes, I just need a few minutes to regroup and then I’ll get my second wind. I know that won’t happen today when there’s a knock on my office door. I immediately stand when Drew pokes his head inside. “Your three o’clock is here, Mr. Sinclair.” Ah, always the professional when potential clients are close by.
“Send them right in, Drew.” Old habits die hard when my hand straightens an imaginary tie. I use that second to tidy my jacket instead.
“Mr. Sinclair, what a pleasure to finally meet you.” My heart rate spikes when I reach out my hand. I remember her but, apparently, she doesn’t remember me. Which is a good thing considering she was one of my hook-ups back in college. I always feared this day would come, but if I keep my cool maybe she won’t recognize me.
“Likewise, Ms. Reed.” I extend my hand to the woman standing next to her and she slips her hand in mine. Delicate and soft, unlike Ms. Reed’s robust handshake.
“This is my PA, Cali. And ‘Ms. Reed’ sounds too formal so please call me Sara.”
“As you wish, Sara. Please, take a seat and we’ll get started. Now, did you have anything specific in mind?” Lately, I’ve been leaning against my desk for these meetings. It’s informal and puts everyone at ease but I’m far from comfortable today. So, I immediately put some distance between us and sit in my chair. With the desk as a barrier between us.
“Club Syn came highly recommended, so it was a given we needed to talk to you, Mr. Sinclair.” I’m not sure if she was waiting for me to reciprocate the formal surname exchange for our given name but I didn’t bite. I’m aware that this could cost me a booking but maybe that would be for the best. Considering we know each other very intimately. “I’d love to see what you have to offer and what summer dates you have available.”
