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What a bitch it was to haul all my luggage up to my condo. Yes, there’s an elevator but I needed to make two trips. I suppose I could have asked the super for a helping hand, but I really hate to impose when I’m more than capable of doing it myself. Now, the daunting task of catching up on laundry, e-mails and going through the dreaded mail. Ugh, one thing at a time.
Once I switch over a batch into the dryer and start another load of laundry, I open my laptop and begin checking e-mails. It’s not as bad as I thought since I’ve been trying to keep up with them even while I was away. Hey, five hundred and twenty-seven aren’t so bad compared to the thousands I would have had if I never checked them. I especially love reading the ones from my fans. I usually open those immediately.
I’m lost in thought when my cell phone chimes. Natalie.
“Hey Nat, what’s up?” I can hear a thunderous crash in the background and wonder what the hell is happening.
“Sorry, Lili. I have the grandkids and they’re monsters today.” All goes quiet and I’ve no doubt she went into her office to continue our conversation. “I just wanted to check in with you to make sure you’re all safe and sound.”
“Aw, you’re too good to me. Right now, I’m elbow-deep in laundry and I’ve just started going through my e-mails. Hey, while I have you on the phone, do you think it would be good PR if I went to the afterparty at Club Syn this Saturday? And you don’t need to hire me an escort because I have a date.” I hear squealing, loud and clear, and this time it’s not the grandchildren.
“Yes, I think it would be fantastic. Especially with your new release coming out next month. Is it presumptuous of me to assume the dashing Zane Sinclair will be your date?” Another squeal before I can even get a word in edgewise.
“Bingo. Zane’s the one who suggested it. I thought it would be a great idea, but of course I wanted to run it by you first.”
“Well, I think it’s a win-win. You’ll have to tell me all about it next time I come out. Which will be soon considering you need to approve your proof copy. You should have received it by now.”
“Hmm, I haven’t picked up my mail yet, but I’m sure it will be there.” Truthfully, I barely hear another word she says, now that my mind is elsewhere. I quickly end the call and head downstairs to grab it.
Carla smiles the moment I walk in. “Welcome back, Lili. If you’re here to pick up your mail, you’ll have to make two trips. I packed everything nice and neat inside of two boxes. I could help you with the other box if you’d like.” I don’t answer her right off since she disappeared into the backroom. As soon as she emerges I understand exactly what she meant.
“That won’t be necessary. I’m looking for something specific. I can come back later for the rest.” As soon as I walk over to the counter, I see it sitting right on top. The manila envelope is a dead giveaway. My heart stutters as I grab the box and let her know I’ll be back later.
The elevator ride seems to last forever, or maybe it’s just me being impatient and wanting to get this over with once and for all. My emotions are all over the place when I open the door, place the box on the counter and grab the envelope.
I curl up on the sofa, tear the tab and reach inside the packet with trembling fingers. The envelope quickly falls to the floor as I cradle the book in my arms. I’m too scared to look at the cover for fear of losing it right here and now. Too late, I can feel the tears soaking through my lashes and making their escape down my flushed cheeks. I knew this day would come but I was hoping to be better prepared.
Slowly, I open my eyes and trace my fingers across the title, Private Messages. But I lose it when I focus on the face staring back at me.
CHAPTER 21
ZANE
Yes, I did check my phone before leaving work. I might be crazy about a certain author, but I’m drawn to my unknown like a moth to a flame. I’m not quite sure what sucks me in but I know I’m addicted to her nightly texts. Unfortunately, she’s been silent since the night before last. Well, it’s not the first time she’s skipped a few nocturnal ramblings, and I’m sure it won’t be the last.
I’m disappointed when I pull into the parking lot and Lili’s car is nowhere to be found. Fuck, she promised she’d be here when she left this morning. I don’t bother getting out of the car, I just stick it in reverse and burn rubber in search of the woman who’s stolen my cold, lifeless heart. And the first thing I’m going to do is take her phone so I can add my fucking number as a contact. I should have done that a long time ago, before she left on her book tour. This time around, I plan on sending her naked selfies and dirty texts whether she likes it or not. I’m so tired of always having to say goodbye.
The drive is too quiet, so I flip on my radio. Wouldn’t you know it, Mercy by Shawn Mendes is the song that pops up. Not a fav of mine but I listen to the words as I coast down the highway. Lili has no clue as to how far I’ve fallen in the few months while she’s been gone. I’m hoping after last night that she feels the same way. We haven’t whispered those three little words, but before she leaves I’ll spill my guts and let her know exactly how I feel. I love Lilianna Cavallon and I’m not afraid to admit it any longer. She’s the spark to my flame.
How convenient that there’s an empty spot right next to hers when I pull into the parking lot. I have no idea why she didn’t meet me back at my house, but I’m about to find out. Maybe she’s a tad homesick. If that’s the case then I’m going to stay here with her tonight. Nothing is going to separate us ever again.
Now that I’ve had time to mull it over, I wonder if she was so exhausted that she just fell asleep. God knows we didn’t get much of that last night since we had more important things on our minds. Thoughts of us tangled in the sheets with my name whispered on her breath make my cock stir. Lili’s a godsend and she’s all mine. I’m such a lucky son-of-a-bitch.
I step outside when the elevator pings and set my sights on 4C. I stride with a purpose and when my knuckles rap on the door, I hold my breath. Will she hear me knocking if she’s asleep? I count to ten and try again. What the fuck am I going to do now? I’m just about to turn around and have the super call her condo when I hear the pitter patter of her feet. So, I turn around, look in the peephole and smile. Nothing.
What the fuck, Lili.
“Baby, I don’t know what happened to make you break your promise, but I’m here to find out. I just want to see with my own two eyes that you’re okay. Please let me in.”
I hear the sliding of the latch, then the unlocking of the door but she doesn’t open it. Something niggles in the back of my mind, so I grab the knob, turn and push through the door. Lili’s arms are wrapped tightly around herself and her back is facing me. I’m no longer angry but I’m anxious as fuck. “Lili, what’s wrong?”
My world comes crashing down around me when she spins around. Red-rimmed eyes and splotchy cheeks are a telling sign that she’s been crying. I swear on everything holy, if she says we are a mistake I’m going to flip my shit.
I take a few steps forward and she doesn’t withdraw, so I close the distance and wrap her up in my arms. When she clings to me, I breathe a sigh of relief. At least now I know she’s not going to send me packing.
Her voice is muffled when she rambles on about why she didn’t come to my place. “I’m sorry I didn’t go back to your house, but I was so emotional and overcome with memories that it wouldn’t have been fair to you. So, I decided to stay here and just get through it the best way I know how.”
I rest my chin atop her head and just hold her close. Until she opens up and tells me what has her feeling so emotive and melancholy, I can only surmise its Ryder. I’ve never shared my home with anyone so it’s difficult to understand the sentiment. But I’m going to be patient for her sake.
