Page 785 of Not Over You


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“Just remember, you’re not alone anymore. And I want you to know that I’m here for you during the bad times, too.” I press my index finger under her chin so she can raise her eyes to meet mine. “Whatever has you feeling this way, we’ll get through it together.” Her violet eyes fill with unshed tears and my dead heart spasms to life. I want to absorb all her pain like a fucking sponge, so I can wring it out and be done with it forever.

She’s suffered enough.

“You’re so understanding, and I can’t put into words how much that means to me. But, this is something I need to work out on my own.” When I try to interrupt, her fingertips brush against my lips. Silencing me from voicing my concerns. “I’m the only one who can put Ryder to rest. Just knowing you’ll be here to pick up the pieces is comforting.”

I swipe my thumbs across her cheeks to catch all her tears before revealing, “I will spend the rest of my life stitching up every broken piece of your precious heart, until it’s made whole again.”

Standing on her tiptoes, she presses her lips against mine. So pliant and full of promise. Quietly, she leaves a declaration on my parting moan. “I’m counting on it.”

God, how long has it been since someone needed me on a personal level? It wouldn’t be fair if I counted Dakota because as much as I hate to admit it, I wasn’t there emotionally for her. I thought I loved her but now that I know what the real deal feels like, it pales in comparison.

“Good. Then you won’t mind if I spend the night here.” A quick intake of breath has her about to protest, but I use that to my advantage by crushing her mouth against mine. Her tension evaporates the moment my tongue flicks across hers, soft and yielding. Our tongues dance to our very own heartbeats and it’s intense and fucking hot. Her heart is in sync with mine and I can feel my cock thicken with anticipation. But I know, getting laid isn’t going to happen tonight so I whisper against her lips, “I just want to hold you tonight, Lili. Then we can talk in the morning if you’re ready.”

Silently, she interlaces her fingers with mine and guides me down the hall into her bedroom. My heart rate spikes and I suddenly feel like a fucking virgin when she leaves me standing in the middle of the room after disappearing into the bathroom. I decide to undress instead of just standing here like an idiot. I know this must be difficult for Lili since she shared this bed with Ryder and I want to make it as uncomplicated as possible. I’d slip beneath the sheets but I have no clue what side she sleeps on. So I sit on the edge of the bed in my underwear and just wait.

She’s gorgeous when she strolls back into the room wearing a form-fitting nightshirt that clings to her curvaceous body. I’d love to weave my fingers into her hair which tumbles down her back in silky waves. “The bathroom is all yours if you need it.” My throat’s dry and my body’s humming with need as I cross the room as if it were on fire. I need to keep my libido in check if I’m going to be spending the night with her in my arms.

I take care of business, wash my hands and use my finger with a dab of toothpaste to brush my teeth. Gripping the counter, I take a few deep breaths and saunter back into the room. Damn, I need a cig so bad right now. I push that thought to the back of my mind as I slip in behind Lili and pull her into my arms. She fits perfectly in the contours of my body, like she was made just for me. I nuzzle into her neck, leaving a tender kiss against the soft flesh of her pulse. I’m elated when a contented sigh escapes her lips. Not long after, her breathing slows and I know she’s fast asleep.

The club is the last thing on my mind as I hunker down and close my eyes. This right here is where I want to be every single minute of every single day.

LILIANNA

A smile tugs at the corners of my mouth once the cobwebs from my dreams turn into a promising reality. Something smells divine as my eyelids flutter open and hurdle me into a coffee-induced stupor. Then, in the same instance, my heart plummets when Ryder surrounds me like a cocoon. Everywhere I look, he’s there. I know it’s all my fault for not having the time or the heart to pack away his belongings, but Zane shouldn’t suffer because of it. So I pull up my big girl panties, wipe a stray tear from my eye and go in search of the man who is here with me now. The one who told me he’d wait because I was worth it. The exact same one who told me I would crave the passion of the storm. Oh, and I do.

Strolling into the room, I find Zane sitting at the kitchen island sipping a cup of coffee. It’s a sexy sight to behold and one I could get very accustomed to. He’s so engrossed in what he’s reading that he doesn’t hear me approaching. And, when I get within arm’s reach and see what has him so enthralled, uneasiness sweeps over me. Private Messages is opened and he’s randomly browsing through it. I can hear the pounding of my own heartbeat in my ears and it makes me woozy.

“Lili, what’s wrong?” His strong arms capture me just before I fade into the blackness.

I wake on the sofa with something cold pressed against my forehead and frightened green eyes staring back at me. My hand automatically cups his cheek and I sigh. “I’m fine now. Really. I guess I was a little lightheaded.”

“Fainting could be caused by dehydration. And when was the last time you had anything to eat?”

Oh, god. I can’t think. Ugh, the last thing I remember was a bagel with cream cheese and a cup of coffee because I had so much to do. “If you must think that long and hard about a meal, then one, it wasn’t memorable, or you haven’t eaten in ages. Stay right there and I’ll bring it to you.”

I know better than to argue because he won’t have it, so I gingerly sit up to get my bearings. I’m no longer dizzy, but my stomach is making some serious noises since he mentioned eating. I’m just about to tell him there’s a tray by the fridge when he walks into the room with it carrying my breakfast. “I had to run out and grab us breakfast, since you have nothing here. I kept it warm in the oven while you slept, but if it’s inedible I’ll toss it out and get you something else.”

I grab the fork with a shaky hand and dig in before he has a chance to set it down. “It’s delicious, thank you.” I’m nervous as he sits on the coffee table while watching me eat. I know he means well but my mind has been racing ever since I witnessed him reading my book. Scratch that. Ryder’s book. I cut myself wide-open while writing it. Yes, it was cathartic, but exhausting as well. I’m not sure how I feel about Zane browsing through it before I’ve had a chance to read it through myself.

Leaning forward, he places his hands on my thighs and scrutinizes me. I’m agitated but I need to brush it off because he has no idea the real reason why I’m feeling this way. “Lili, is there something else troubling you?”

Inadvertently, my eyes dart back and forth between Zane and the open book that’s lying not ten feet away. He frowns and then glances over his shoulder to see what has me so unsettled. I can’t meet his stare when he turns around—otherwise, it will be written all over my face.

“Are you upset because you caught me reading one of your books?” He tilts my chin until we’re eye to eye. How am I supposed to answer that question? I worry my bottom lip and meet his stare.

“It just came in the mail. I haven’t had a chance to proof it yet, so I get a bit antsy if someone else looks at it before me.” He looks crushed and I feel awful, but Zane is the last person I want reading Private Messages.

He nods several times, rubs his hands over his day-old stubble and quickly stands. I know I’ve hurt him but I’m not ready to share Ryder with him just yet. When I reach out to take his hand, he storms off into the bedroom.

Once again, I’ve gone and ruined everything. Way to go, Lilianna. Now that I’ve lost my appetite, I get up to bring my tray back into the kitchen. I’m rinsing off my dishes just to keep busy so I don’t lose it right here and now, when I see movement out of the corner of my eye. My heart aches at the thought of him leaving angry so I spin around to confront him. And I’m numb as I watch him grab his keys and head for the door. “Please don’t be angry, Z.”

His shoulders slump as he drops his hand from the doorknob. Too close to opening and walking out that door. Without turning around, he says, “I’m angry because I’m jealous of Ryder. How fucked up is that?” This time, he turns around to face me. Shaking his head, he holds up his palms in surrender with his keys jingling as they swing from his thumb. “I’m jealous because I’ve never experienced the kind of love that the two of you shared. I was too busy building an empire that doesn’t keep me warm at night and there’s no one waiting for me in the wee hours of the morning. My bed is lonely and empty, until you came along.”

My lip trembles when he closes the distance and cradles my face in his strong capable hands. Thumbs brush along my cheekbones, while his penetrating green eyes stare into my teary violet orbs. He whispers, “I never knew how much I was missing, until you came waltzing into my life. You took my cold, lifeless heart and taught it how to beat again. Fate has brought us together and I’m privileged to know your thoughts, your feelings and your heartbreaking grief. But I could never compete with Ryder’s spirit nor would I want to.”

Oh hell, he didn’t just go there. I’m literally taken aback by his presumptuousness. Well, now the tables have turned and he’s going to get a piece of my mind whether he wants it or not. “First of all, I don’t believe in fate. It’s an overused word we easily throw around when we fail to find the right one.” He’s so stunned by my tone of voice that his hands fall limply by his sides. Giving me the perfect opportunity to walk away.

My heart thrums wildly inside of my chest as I walk into the kitchen to pour myself a drink. I know he’s stunned from my tirade and perhaps a bit disappointed it didn’t end the way he wanted. I take a few big gulps of orange juice and now I feel like I can continue this conversation. With my glass in one hand, I saunter back into the living room to face Zane.

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