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I turn, pressing into the safety of my dad’s arms. “I miss him,” I whisper into his shirt.
“Of course you do,” he murmurs, rubbing my back in soothing, circular motions. “You’ll never stop missing Jeremy.”
His tone tells me there’s something else he wants to say. Something I probably don’t want to hear. Stiffening, I lift my head.
“What?”
His mouth droops sadly. “You’ve missed someone else for a long time, too. I watched you experience a different kind of grief back then. You might have been able to hide it from everyone else but not from me.”
I take a step back. “Tell me you’re not comparing Lucas abandoning us to Jeremy dying.”
My dad sighs. “Grief doesn’t discriminate, honey. It’s loss. Just loss. Those moments when the world changes under our feet, spinning in a new direction we never wanted. You’ve grieved Jeremy for the past twelve years, but you never allowed yourself to grieve Lucas.”
I don’t want to be mad at my dad. I love him. But right now, I’m so angry I can’t see straight.
“I’m going home.”
My movements jerky, I grab my bag and flee.
Jeremy’s family moved to Sun River before seventh grade. Lucas and I didn’t meet him until the first day of school, and I immediately disliked him. Not because he was mean, or teased me like other kids did for being a year younger. Jeremy was perfectly nice. A bit quiet, or maybe shy. I still didn’t like him.
He took Lucas away from me.
Their bond was immediate, as though they had a private language both had known but only remembered upon meeting. Seeing their friendship unfold and solidify was torture.
Lucas was my best friend.
“What’s gotten into you, Peapod?”
I slam my locker shut. “Nothing.”
His finger waves vaguely in my direction. “You’re making the face that means something’s bugging you but you don’t want to talk about it. It’s cute that you think it would work on me.”
My eyes widen. “Wha—no! That’s stupid.”
“You’re stupid.”
I bristle. “Well, you’re ugly.”
One of his brows cocks. “Tell that to the girls in our grade.”
I shove his shoulder, caught between humor and exasperation. “You’re so full of yourself.”
“You’re full of shit.”
I gape. “You’re full of… STDs!”
He makes a face. “No, I’m not. Ew. You need to stop reading those stupid teen magazines.”
“Ugh, Lucas, forget it. Just leave me alone.” I head down the hallway, but his arm lands heavily across my shoulders.
“No can do,” he says, grinning down at me.
He grew two inches in the last year, and I can’t match his long strides anymore. Our hips bump on every other step. When we near a corner, I duck away from him and hustle ahead.
It’s no use. He overtakes me in seconds, spins around to face me, and holds up his hands. I know from experience that if I try to walk past him, it’ll only get worse. One time he carried me like a freaking baby to lunch.
Sighing, I glance around to make sure no one is in our immediate vicinity. “Where’s your new best friend?”
