AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Does it help you? Keeping the lie going? You want me to fuck you.”
She tilts her head, looking straight into my eyes. “Only fuck me?”
The silence turns heavy.
“I only fuck, hard. I wouldn’t even know how to do it differently.”
“It’s no wonder... with your extensive experience.” Jealousy threads through her voice, putting a smile on my face.
She shouldn’t be jealous. There’s no reason to be.
Clearing my throat, I say, “I thought my father, a powerful senator, was this monument of morality, that he was untouchable. I wanted to be just like him. I was like a puppy trailing behind him, wanting his love and attention. I was too young to realize how easily Silas manipulated me and used me against my mother. To me, my mother was a traitor and my father was a gracious man who accepted his wife’s affair to keep his family intact.” I let out a laugh filled with self-contempt. Not even my best friend knows that I found out about our parents’ affair years prior.
“You wanted your father’s approval. You’re too hard on yourself.”
Why is she so set on finding the good in me, like everything I did is acceptable because I was young and innocent.
“Silas was damn good at manipulation, especially with me. I learned from the best in that department. I soaked it up, his so-called pain from the betrayal of his best friend and wife. I asked him why he tolerated them. He told me love makes you weak, to never fall in love. It wasn’t love. It was power. He used everything to his advantage. My father was a psychopath.”
And I am his son. “By the time I was fourteen, I could have excused anything about him.”
I drag a hand down my face and search her eyes. I would rather die than allow those spectacular green eyes to see the horrors of this life.
“For my birthday, he took me out with him. I was so proud. I was the youngest among very powerful men. That night, my innocence was shattered.”
“What happened?” she asks softly. Standing up, she tiptoes toward me, giving a beacon of salvation to the greatest sinner. She sits beside me, giving me her silent support, soothing every broken part of me.
I close my eyes, trying to fight against the memories. Why should I let her get to know that side of me? And for what?
When I open my eyes, she’s still there, dangling the opportunity of freedom. How would it feel to have a woman who knows and accepts me?
My friends have that. Their women balance out their ruthlessness and their darkness. I am exhausted wearing this crown alone.
“I thought it was a normal club. The men were all dressed in impeccable suits, enjoying cigars and drinks, talking about business and politics. Nothing unusual.”
She takes my hands in hers, and my fists loosen.
“You don’t want to hear this,” I warn her.
“I need to hear this.”
Here I am, opening up to her. It’s my soul for her body. This has to be the most stupid bargain I have ever made. But with this woman, I’m incapable of not opening up.
“After some small talk, we moved to another room. There, women were in cages or kneeling on the floor, their gazes downcast. Waitresses walked around naked, offering drinks to men who were free to touch them.”
Her eyes widen into incredulous globes. She should run and never ask to take a walk with me down memory lane.
“The men laughed at my shocked expression, but my father’s stern look had me masking that quickly. He poured a glass of alcohol and handed it to me. I drank it in one go. I couldn’t make sense of what was happening.
“He ushered me into a corner and said, “This is power. This is what your life will be. Surrounded by powerful men like you. Enjoying and taking whatever you like.” I nodded, but it felt hollow, like those women’s gazes following me everywhere.
My father gestured for a woman. “‘It’s my son’s birthday. Treat him accordingly.’ ‘Yes, master.’ She sounded like a robot rather than a sex worker. My father patted me on my shoulder as he put the leash attached to the woman in my hand. Another woman undressed me while she opened my zipper and took me out.
“I was so fucking shocked, I couldn’t get it up. She pleaded with me as if she had made a mistake, her fearful eyes stayed glued on my father. Even knowing it didn’t feel right, I went along with it.”
I shut my eyes, my hands balled into fists at my sides. Violet places her hand on my cheek, anchoring me, and my body relaxes. I don’t deserve purity in my life.
“I’m here. Go on.”
