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Why isn’t she repulsed by me? Ah, right, she doesn’t even know half of it, but she will.
“That was my first sexual experience. Pleasure took over with her lips on my cock. I came in her mouth as the men laughed at how fast I unloaded.
“In a haze, I watched her undress. She kept telling me it was okay, though I knew it wasn’t. And I fucked her anyway. That’s how I lost my virginity, surrounded by my father’s friends and women who weren’t there of their own volition. My father ran a human trafficking ring, and he filmed every moment in his club.
“I became a tool, someone he could always keep in line if I overstepped.”
Her fingers tremble in my hands and her head drops. I lift her chin up, her eyes glisten with tears.
“It was my initiation that night. Still curious, Violet?”
“I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”
She leaps into my arms, hugging me tightly. She grounds me in the present, making the memories bearable.
“I can make you come. I can fuck so well, I’ll have you addicted to the pleasure I can bring you. Those women did a very good job with my sex education. It went on for years. I became hollow, desensitized to the depravity of humans.”
It took me longer to do something about it.
She tilts her head to me and says, “It wasn’t your fault.”
Nothing could excuse the role I played in my father’s empire. But it was the only way. I shoved all my feelings down to prove I was worthy to be among them—men I despised with everything in me. I had to play the long game, and that meant playing the part while trying to figure out how to end it all.
“I threw up for ten minutes straight after the first time I had sex. That was the night my love and admiration for my father disappeared.
“It took me years to gather evidence. It took years to save a hundred out of so many. It’s a fight I continue to lose. Once you shut a ring down, another pops up. In the fallout, I made sure every man involved in my father’s dealings helped me climb the political ladder. In the end, I’m the one who won everything even though my past is just as tainted by sin.”
I am so deep in my head that it’s only when she starts undressing I redirect my attention to her.
She unhooks her bra next. The straps slide down her slim arms. Her tits are a round handful with pebbled, rosy nipples. They’re like two sweet cherries, making saliva pool in my mouth. The moon casts a dim light in my bedroom, making her appear ethereal.
I catch her struggling to keep her arms at her sides. Lust turns to admiration for her. I stare at my trembling hands. Does she think her purity will wash away the regrets, the blood, and the mistakes? Nothing ever could, yet she’s willing to try. What a woman.
“I had my doubts, but now I’m pretty sure you chose me, thinking it would never come to this. Sex for you is not pleasure; it is a mechanism. I guess we were too confident about how things would be between us. Yet, here we are. I’m naked from the waist up, and you’re getting naked from the inside out.”
She tilts her face, her eyes locked on mine, bringing light to every dark corner of my being.
“I was pretty sure you would have fled by now.”
“I’m pretty sure you haven’t even told me the worst yet.”
“Smart, beautiful, pure... you tantalize me. Make me want things I swore I would never want.”
Because I don’t deserve them.
I lift my hands. Cupping her breasts, I swipe my thumbs against her nipples. Her chest rises and falls.
“I could make you come just like this, my sweet Violet,” I say, twirling and pulling at the pebbled nubs. She closes her eyes, letting out a stuttered moan.
“I’m sure you can.”
I don’t want to ruin you.
Why isn’t she afraid? My hands spread over her ribs, thumbs grazing under her breasts. Lowering my face, I suck on her nipple, then move to the other. Her hands clutch around my arms and she arches up to give me more access—my greedy, enchanting little freak.
“I doubt that because you desperately need salvation.”
I swirl my tongue over her nipples, grazing them with my teeth. A shudder rocks her.
