AllFreeNovel
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I drag in a lungful of air and see my parents in the window, peeking from the curtains.
Cameron opens the car door for me. I lift my gaze to him.
“I cleaned this car two times in the last twenty-four hours,” he says.
He’s such a conundrum, giving me whiplash. Climbing inside the car, I’m assaulted by the smell of leather, spice, and disinfectant. Surprisingly, that calms me a bit.
Cameron rounds the car and hops in the driver’s seat. I steal a glance at him. He might be an asshole, but he looks good in the driver’s seat. That self-assurance and raw power he emanates as he wraps his hand around the wheel intrigues me. What would it feel like to be touched like that by him? I whip my neck so quickly to the side my head spins. That was such a strange thought to have, and for him—my unwilling husband.
I burrow myself into the seat as we drive away.
“No one in this entire world will ever touch you. You’re safe,” he says.
“Knowing differs from believing. I know all the facts; still, the feelings are a trap. Knowing means nothing compared to the fears.”
“You know what my grandfather used to tell me?” he asks.
I turn to him, and he looks at peace, deep in his memory. I ease a bit more when he continues, “Fear is being aware of one’s vulnerability. It’s being acutely aware of your own infallibility. It shows us the innate fear we have to die. You don’t conquer fears by being logical about them. You do it by accepting that it’s your destiny to die.”
That’s a perspective I haven’t heard before.
“So you’re not afraid of dying?” I ask.
“I’m more afraid of living a mediocre life.”
“There is nothing mediocre about you.”
I feel my cheeks heat, and the corner of his mouth quirks up. Thank God his assholeness appears to have taken a break.
“Do you want to listen to music? The button is clean.”
Laughter slips free, everything crashing down on me. My emotions tear me apart, switching on the tap to my tears.
He parks the car on the side of the road and leans his head back. I’m so focused on his reaction that I stop crying.
“I’m sorry. Today is just a lot.”
“Violet, I get that, but—”
“No, you don’t understand.”
He snaps his head to me. “Why would I want to understand someone who gave up on living?”
I slam my palms on the console and bend over him. Only he can enrage me like this. He mimics my position, and I am aware of how close we are. Our mouths are a breath apart. My lips tingle.
“You want to bite, then bite, but don’t show me your teeth only to lie on your back.”
“You . . . you . . . asshole.”
“You... you... freak,” he taunts me. I stop my hand before it connects with his face. I blink at it suspended in air while he smirks and pulls back onto the road.
“It will be so damn satisfying seeing you falling from the clutches of your fears and drop straight on your knees in front of me.”
“That will never happen.”
“And when it does, I won’t say ‘I told you so’ because I’ll be enjoying the view.”
“I thought you didn’t want me.”
